I think the OP is only looking for validation to be pissed off and take out her frustration by not celebrating her kid’s success and hardwork in college. Shame. I don’t care what my kid had planned (or not planned) for next year, I’d celebrate her graduation this spring.
If I were a young petro engineer I would ride out the oil bust with a year or two of ski bumming out west. And eventually wind up with a job working in the energy industry which except for Houston is clustered in ski country. Here in Denver I know scores of successful lawyers executives engineers that spent a couple years ski bumming. Look at scotus nominee Neil gorsuch. Out here being a good skier is great for schmoozing and networking. Much better than golf. As long as the kid is supporting himself he’s ok with making that choice. Life is long. Plenty of time for a gap year.
In the words of Warren Miller. If you don’t quit your job and ski 100 days this winter, you will just be one year older when you finally do.
Just a personal story…
My husband had an erratic college career. He took winter/spring semesters off to be a ski instructor in Vermont. He is a diehard skier. He only graduated college one semester late and for the rest of that year, also returned to VT to be a ski instructor. He knew there was no living to be made with that, but it allowed him lots of time to ski during his college years. He also went to college over the summer to make up some time. We married after he graduated college. He then entered a four year professional graduate school. Upon graduating from grad school, we moved back to the ski resort town he used to be a ski instructor at during the times off in college, and he started his professional career in VT, where we also raised our kids.
Personally, I see nothing wrong with what your son is doing. He is merely going on ski trips over his college breaks. It may or may not have anything to do with what work he does after he graduates. Further, I don’t see why the celebration of his college graduation would be tied any way to what job he does or doesn’t get post graduation, by the time graduation takes place. The celebration is for completing and graduating college.
@jym626 I was working LOL… haven’t gotten to any responses yet really besides that.
@intparent Not me – his father, I am step mom, and I told him (my husband) I didn’t think that was a great idea to hinge this on what he does or doesn’t do as to the skiing. That said, I wasn’t too crazy about the amount of $$ we were spending anyway and am not sure for example an $800 ticket for sister to come for one night either.
I know several people who took some time between college graduation and “real life” to figure out who they were. They are unilaterally doing very well now, and are happy! Well, as happy as they could be, one of them is sort of depressive by nature. In any case, your son will only be young and unencumbered by unavoidable responsibilties (raising his oen kids, paying a mortgage etc) once! 
He can always parlay his love of skiing into full-time ski bumming by going down to Bariloche in the summertime. I could think of worse lives, for sure!
I’ve known SO MANY successful people who took a year off at some point – either after undergrad, or between undergrad/grad or during graduate school… I often thought it was BECAUSE of their time off that they were so successful. One friend took a year off after law school - yes, he was a ski bum (at Vail.) Another traveled around Asia for 9 months. Yet another got a year-long apprenticeship with a British harpsichord maker – had nothing to do with his study (computer science.) Another friend danced with a small regional ballet company before starting her MBA studies.
All these people afterwards focused on their career. None of them ever regretted the experience. They’re all successful in every sense of the word: they have careers, they have money, they have families. And they have the sense of having fulfilled a dream.
OP, bet happy your child has a dream. Be happy he has an education. Be happy he has a girlfriend. It sounds like your ski-loving son is the perfect package. Congrats to you both.
Asking if we’d be disappointed in how often your stepson chooses to ski and asking if we’d withhold a graduation celebration because of it are two entirely different questions. I’m kind of disappointed you didn’t ask us directly. It’s not fair to your stepson to get opinions to help you feel justified in withholding a graduation party when that’s not what you asked us.
He’s a grown man, so how he spends his off time is up to him. Did you cosign loans for him? Will he be moving back home after graduation? If not, why is this bothering you? He apparently has plans to work full-time, and a location picked out to do it in.
I think it’s a mistake to hold his graduation celebration over his head to make him do what you want. And denying his sister the opportunity to see him graduate because you’re ticked at him is a pretty mean thing to do to her. Do what you can afford. If it’s a low key brunch before everyone goes their separate ways, then do that. But if you can afford more and would do more if he’d toe your line, then withholding that because you’re angry is counterproductive.
His time, his money, his future. All the power to him. Just don’t come home looking for a handout anytime soon. While I would encourage him to do what makes him happy, I’d be very clear about future financial support. Life is all about choices…we make good choices and sometimes we make bad choices. Sometimes we don’t know if the choice is good or bad until much later in life. 22 is so young, he’ll make mistakes for sure but this may or may not be one of them.
This is your step son correct?
What does his father say about his plans and graduation?
Blended families are very, very difficult. I understand that how this son is acting is not how you would parent. But I think it’s a mine field to withhold coming to graduation.
My kids have not always made the decisions that I would wish them to make. But once they graduated college, our relationship turned and I have really tried not to make judgements. I sometimes think I might bite my tongue off. If they can support themselves without my help, I have to let them make their own mistakes.
Is the sister who would fly in his bio full sister? Are they the only full subs from your husband’s previous marriage? If they go off on ski trips together they are apparently pretty close. Why would you prevent her from attending her siblings graduation? As others have said, there can be lots of challenges with blended families and you should not, IMO, burn bridges with this. Fly her in and celebrate his graduation. Engineering is a tough major. He succeeded. That is worthy of celebrating.
^ typo above. Full sibs, not subs.
As an aside, this is only tangentially related, but my 2 s’s graduated from HS and college respectively on the very same morning in different cities a plane ride away. We had to divide and conquer and I missed my s’s college graduation. I am still sad about that. If your stepson and his sister are very close (don’t know if she is older or younger) don’t let her miss the graduation. You can pick a more reasonably priced restaurant to eat at afterwards, but don’t make decisions you will regret.
"Asking if we’d be disappointed in how often your stepson chooses to ski and asking if we’d withhold a graduation celebration because of it are two entirely different questions. I’m kind of disappointed you didn’t ask us directly. It’s not fair to your stepson to get opinions to help you feel justified in withholding a graduation party when that’s not what you asked us.
I think it’s a mistake to hold his graduation celebration over his head to make him do what you want. And denying his sister the opportunity to see him graduate because you’re ticked at him is a pretty mean thing to do to her. Do what you can afford. If it’s a low key brunch before everyone goes their separate ways, then do that. But if you can afford more and would do more if he’d toe your line, then withholding that because you’re angry is counterproductive."
@austinmshauri - there is a lot of supposition here in what you think “I” am asking and saying… AGAIN, “I” was not the one who wanted to do anything different about graduation; I was asking if it made sense to be spending the money on his sister’s travel anyway (before this whole spring break thing) - its a long trip for her, it is costly and she has finals that week too. I was not ASKING in the OP about that - and again I told my husband I don’t really agree with holding it over his head or the perception of doing so. I told him clearly if he doesn’t want to spend that money then we shouldn’t regardless.
@deb922 His father is the most upset about all this - not me. I am not thrilled about it especially after he encouraged the nice young lady he has a relationship with to take a job near him (rather than near her own family) and then he puts the only job he may have in jeopardy by skiing instead of working. But his father is way more ticked about it and the real reason I am asking - especially after he said he was thinking about not doing the big graduation spend. I don’t agree with holding that over his head.
PS we are having a party in June for step son and my daughter (HS graduation) - catered at a facility so it isn’t like there would be NO celebration- just not a fancy restaurant and a costly flight for his sister in addition to the graduation party back here at home.
@jym626 Not my idea in the first place to fly her (finals for her that week), not my idea to change the plans either… and we are having a party when everyone is home.
Totally agree that the graduation celebration should be what you can and want to do…regardless of your stepsons post graduation plans.
Every family has to set their own criteria for graduation celebrations. For some…it’s a bigger to do than for others. You do what you do.
But in my opinion, this should not be connected to post graduation plans at all.
But back to your question…about dissapointment…your stepson isn’t doing what you hoped he would do…get a job in engineering upon graduation. But it’s not like he is going to be doing something illegal.
Right now…he is taking a spring break ski trip. When he gets back…he could step up that job application process. You never know.
@thumper1 I hope you are right about that!
Why are you assuming that the spring break skiing would potentially jeopardize the chance of a FT job with the company he is currently working for? If I was the boss of a college student I would get that they would want to take a Spring Break.
@toomanyteens and if he decides to go to CO or Utah to ski, teach skiing, or work at a ski area…it’s not necessarily a forever decision.