Would you care if your child eloped?

<p>The bumping of the Say Yes to the Dress thread (my boys now watch it with me when we are at my parents!) reminds me that ds1, 19, told me while watching the show a couple of weeks ago that he would consider eloping. Guess all those SYTTD marathons over the holidays have had a negative effect.</p>

<p>Anyway, I told him I didn't care, as long as we could throw the couple a big party so that family and friends could wish them well. My dh was horrified and said he would care if ds eloped.</p>

<p>What about you?</p>

<p>I would be hurt, and I would want to throw a party for the newlyweds.</p>

<p>I think eloping is a great idea. If one of my kids did it, I agree with YDS - I would just throw them a party at some point.</p>

<p>My H and I eloped, so we couldn't really say anything, but we would hope to have a party later. I found out many years after our marriage that my in-laws had also eloped. I think both sets of parents were just happy we were finally getting married after 12 years together.</p>

<p>I really hope to be there when PMKjr marries but if they elope, I certainly wouldn't say anything negative. I would want to throw a party for the newlyweds.</p>

<p>^^^ I think that would be key for me -- how long they've known each other. I'm assuming that he'd elope with a longtime GF I already knew and just wanted to save time and expense. If it he eloped with someone I'd never met -- that would be a different story.</p>

<p>It would be fine with me. I can understand the reasons. I had a very small, low-key wedding, and I thought even that was too much fuss.</p>

<p>Some people want to be married but dread the hoopla involved in getting married. Going to City Hall and telling everyone later is a good solution to the problem. Cheap, too.</p>

<p>I would be very upset if one of my kids eloped. If they were engaged and decided to elope rather than spend a lot of money on a wedding, I would understand. But if they just showed up married one day, I would not be a happy camper.</p>

<p>H said there would be a cash bonus if our girls eloped. I would kill them.</p>

<p>Hey, a cash bonus. </p>

<p>I would offer that to my kids except that it might prompt them to elope even if their partners would prefer a fancy wedding. So I guess it wouldn't be fair.</p>

<p>Another benefit of eloping is that it avoids the kinds of situations being discussed right now in the "Have you ever been invited to a wedding that you actually knew was a big mistake?" thread. Most of the choices that people posting on that thread are discussing would be unnecessary if they were presented with the marriage as a fait accompli.</p>

<p>It depends on your definition of 'elope'. I'd be bothered if my kid came home or called me to suddenly say they went and got married. It'd bother me that the kid couldn't be bothered or didn't have a close enough relationship with me to let me know their plans on something as significant as getting married.</p>

<p>If by 'elope' you mean simply that they don't want the big ceremony and party and simply want to get married in Vegas or at the courthouse or something, yet it was discussed with me beforehand so it I was at least aware of the plans, then it wouldn't bother me but I don't like ceremonies and parties anyway and think the marriage should be about the couple rather than a party for the bride's mom.</p>

<p>If I loved D's choice of a husband, knew them well as a couple already, and I felt it was a mature decision, I would be okay with elopement. I've already made 2 bat mitzvahs which were essentially like weddings, so really I got that out of my system.</p>

<p>I would throw the couple a small, elegant party afterwards--made up of people we really wanted to have there--and shop with the bride for a short, bridal-like dress. I could get a pretty outfit, too.</p>

<p>It would work for me. :)</p>

<p>DH & I eloped and then had a really great party a couple of months later. We had been dating 5 years and were engaged, but the hoopla would have really stressed DH out AND my dad had just left my mom, after being married for 25 years. so a wedding would have been very stressful. Dad did give us the cash he would have spent on the wedding. My in-laws were very unhappy about it, but got over it. I would like to be there when my kids get married, but DD does not handle stress well and I fear she would become an unbearable bridezilla. So I will understand if they decide to elope.</p>

<p>For me it's more about the marriage than the wedding. If I felt it was a good partnership I would be happy to not spend the $$ and would save it for them for some other purpose. I love watching SYTTD because the mentality is so far from mine that it's kind of like visiting the zoo! Fascinating!</p>

<p>Agree with Hugcheck about SYTTD, though DD got me started watching it last summer. DD is so practical.</p>

<p>I am in the same camp as fishymom, and GladGradDad.</p>

<p>Yes, if done with our blessing. We are in the middle of wedding planning for D and it shouldn't be this stressful for such a happy event.
GradDad, wish this was a party for me(mother of the bride), I would have kept it VERY simple.</p>

<p>I am amazed my 16yo and 19yo boys will watch epsiode after episode with me. It's a very different world. Over the holiday we saw one bride pay $15K for her dress. I think that's what promped ds1 to say that he'd elope!</p>

<p>ETA: cbreeze, that's when the whole idea of eloping occurred to me -- while helping SIL pull off a B&B wedding for her ds. She had just had gallbladder surgery, and most of the work of making candleholders and hanging them in trees, arranging lights, picking up flowers, blah blah blah, fell to me. I decided right then that elopement isn't a bad thing.</p>

<p>H and I practically did elope. Gave everyone (all 50) 3 days notice.
Last summer S married a gal he had dated for 5 years. D said it was one of those weddings that David guy does, only better. During the 3 days of it all, I said to D, "Elope". H said to me over and over, "Thank you for our small wedding". I'd rather give her the money than go through that again.</p>

<p>I am hoping that the trend toward less consumerism will hit the wedding industry by the time my two kids are ready to marry.</p>