<p>hang out with a group of boys? My daughter has some male friends with whom she plays Minecraft (sp?) on-line. She has known several of these kids since elementary school, but they do not go to the same middle school. She asked this last weekend to go over one of her on-line friend’s house to hang out. I didn’t let her do it because I am not keen on letting my 13 year-old daughter hang out with a group of boys. My daughter tends to gravitate towards the boys because she is not keen on drama. I did say that she could go to the mall or a movie with them, but I am drawing the line at a house gathering.</p>
<p>Just wondering what other people would decide…</p>
<p>Probably not if I didn’t know them at this age. My D too had more male friends than girl friends and I was fine as long as I knew them. But unknown people, I would be wary. </p>
<p>My daughter also had more male friends, but she had known most of them since kindergarten, and I also knew a lot of the parents. I would only let her go if I were comfortable enough with the parents to know they would be well supervised. </p>
<p>My D was often the only female at the poker parties she attended with boys from her HS. She has played online games with mostly males from middle school. The identity she gives is a young male college student. She has kept this ID for over a dozen years and says she would have a hard time meeting anyone from online in person because they would be confused about her age and gender.</p>
<p>You say she has known them since elementary school, but then refer to them as her on line friends. Those are two very different categories in my book. If these are kids she and you know well, and you don’t have a problem with them other than the fact that they are boys, I don’t see a problem. As long as all of your requirements for allowing her to go to someones house apply, just because her friends are guys, I wouldn’t rule them out. Frankly, I think 13 year old girls can be much scarier than 13 year old boys! As long as you don’t think there is a romance brewing, the kids are trouble, or there will not be any parents home, it sounds pretty innocent. </p>
<p>Not a parent, but was always a tomboy and pretty much only had male friends. Even now, most of my bridal party is males and my MOH is a male (Man of Honor). I absolutely hung out with groups of only boys when I was 13 (and every other age), yes even at their houses (or, more commonly, they were all over at my house because we had a pool). </p>
<p>The way you write it, I can’t tell if they went to the same elementary school. Do you know the parents? Did they go to the same elementary school? Would you be comfortable having them come to your house the first time so that you can supervise and get a feel for the group? </p>
<p>Honestly, if they’re a group of Minecraft players, they’re (the boys) probably nerds who wouldn’t know how to do something sneaky even if they wanted to. I say this as a gamer who fits in that nerd category. Just something else to consider. </p>
<p>When I was 13, my friends were four boys and we were together constantly. Most of our gatherings were at one of their houses while his mother was home. But we went to school and had classes together, we weren’t “online friends.” I gave my home phone number to a girl I knew online once around age 14 and my mom hit the roof, online friends were strictly online.</p>
<p>Several of the kids are friends of friends. Two of the boys are kids with whom she attended elementary school. I do know the parents of one of the boys (not well) and don’t know the parents of the other boy. The reason I referred to them as on-line friends is because that is the only interaction she has had with the two boys she knows from elementary school since they parted ways in middle school . They SKYPE and play Minecraft. The non-romantic thing is exactly what my daughter said as she was rolling her eyes at me. “Mom! I am not interested in them that way!” She does have one male friend in the neighborhood whom she has known since 1st grade. Up until 5th grade, she would spend the night over there and vice-versa. I know his parents really well and trust them. We carpooled last year and they still hang out after school every once in a while. I don’t have an issue with that. </p>
<p>I guess it is more the fact that she will be the only girl amongst a group of boys. I am going to have to figure this out, because I think she is going to be like romanigypsyeyes. She seems to prefer male friends to female friends.</p>
<p>I am with tempemom. I would move the party to my house and provide the best food ever, so they always want to play there. More than a decade later when I ran into one of my own kid’s gaming buddies he said he still remembered the snacks.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t be comfortable with the situation as you describe it. My kids participated with a few groups at local comic book/gaming stores and even that made me uncomfortable a bit.</p>
<p>Yes, what thingamajig said. When my D was in middle school her closest friends were three boys. They were all in her class, we knew them and their parents quite well, and they all hung out at one house or another. The important thing is that a parent was always home wherever they were. Can you call the friend’s parents and find out if that will be the case?</p>
<p>I would feel differently if I knew the parents and boys quite well. Otherwise I have flashbacks to my own middle and high school days spent in various basement rec rooms while parents were technically at home but had no idea what anyone was up to. Of course, kids these days — not up to so much as we were in the 60s and 70s.
imho. </p>
<p>What are you worried about? Sex? Drugs? The words she’ll hear? That she’s spending too much time on computer games? Bathroom jokes? Rape? </p>
<p>I know that sounds hyperbolic, but different groups of kids are into different things.</p>
<p>I think it’s great that your daughter is into gaming and hanging around with a group of boys who are into computer games. If she goes into computer engineering as a result of that–and many people do–she stands to enter a fascinating profession where women are in short supply and will be in great demand as employees. </p>
<p>If you’re just worried that they’re not just messing around with computers, I like the advice of others–move it to your house.</p>
<p>As described, my real concern is the possibility of sexual assault. I don’t get the sense (yet) there are boys here who see themselves as her protectors. I don’t know how many other boys, or unknown men, are wandering through the house for whatever reason. Are there grown women at home? Unless she is an extremely savvy and mature 13 yr old she could find herself in a situation she can’t control. Is there much liklihood of that? no idea. I do think it is a really excellent idea to express your concerns to your child - no matter how much eye-rolling- and start talking about strategies for dealing with situations that might come up.</p>
<p>As someone who always had a ton of kids at my house both boys and girls, I’d invite them over. Just make sure you have enough extension cords and outlets…it’ll be a fairly quiet group… But I probably wouldn’t keep my D from going over to someone else’s house for a Minecraft session if I knew their parents well even if she was the only girl.</p>
<p>As for “on-line friends”–my D’s new roommate is from the opposite side of the country–her other roomie met her on-line. In HS she visited and spent two weeks with another on-line friend (who visited us for two weeks later on). Another friend’s D just got married to someone she met on-line. </p>
<p>I think it’s a sad commentary when some (emphasis on some and not the OP) people assume that 13 year old boys are sexual predators that need to be avoided. What’s that saying to our boys? </p>
She does have one male friend in the neighborhood whom she has known since 1st grade. Up until 5th grade, she would spend the night over there and vice-versa. I know his parents really well and trust them. We carpooled last year and they still hang out after school every once in a while. I don’t have an issue with that. </p>