<p>That they have hormones that are louder than common sense?
I think she is probably safe with 13 yr olds as boys generally mature later and boys who hang out inside rather than outside, later still.
I wouldnt make that same wager with 15-17 yr olds however.</p>
<p>In high school, I liked D&D and played constantly with a big group of guys. I was usually the only girl. My parents even let me attend all-night parties, which is hard for me to fathom, because they were otherwise very strict (no R-rated movies, no dancing, no wearing shorts, etc., etc.). If it were my daughter now, I would suggest they play at our house. We have a bonus room with a glass door - I peek in often when any of my kids has friends there. </p>
<p>Sorry, I don’t buy into the notion that pre-teens and teens are raging hormonal machines with no self-control. Considering that the vast, vast majority never rape or assault anyone, I’d say they have more control than people give them credit for. </p>
<p>Anyway, I wish the OP luck. I still recommend inviting them over to your house if that’s a possibility. </p>
<p>Another vote for hosting the group so you can get to know them. </p>
<p>romani- interesting point and it is nice that is your reaction. If sexual assault wasn’t a reality, I wouldn’t have worries about the situation described. I have few qualms about consensual sex for 13 yr olds. I am old enough to know many girls and women who found themselves in situations they couldn’t control. We have no idea if there will only be 13 year old males at home during this party. There could be older brothers, or neighbors. There could be the Dad’s pedophile drinking buddy. I don’t know enough to want my kids at that gaming session unless I’m confident he/she is able to leave the situation quickly if it becomes uncomfortable in any way. Young teens don’t usually have the skills to read potentially risky situations. That is why we protect them. Or try to. </p>
<p>If all the boys are 13, I really think it’s no problem. 13-year-old boys are considerably less mature than 13-year-old girls. I would have a conversation with the parents beforehand, and if they seem reasonable, then I think it would be ok. Does daughter have a cell phone? Can she call you or text you if she is uncomfortable?</p>
<p>We never had these conversations. D never had any problems and enjoyed the poker parties she attended, where she was the only female (the others attending were boys from her HS). She said the parents were home and the food and snacks were excellent. One of the boys invited her as his buddy to the senior prom and they had a nice time. She was surprised that the same boy turned down two girls (that were D’s friends) who had invited him to the prom. At the time she played poker, they were all in HS, so 15-17 years old, with perhaps a few even older. Other girls were also welcome but none chose to come. She often won and was proud of her card-playing abilities. ;)</p>
<p>She never had any problems being the only girl. She also has played D&D as the only girl at another friend’s home. I believe the group had over a dozen young men–some were up to 8 years older than her. They all had a great time and she has played with them several times. </p>
<p>D grew up as a younger sister (she has one sib, a brother who is 2 years older). She has always been an extremely good judge of character and situations. She tends to inspire chivalry in most males–she is petite and has handled herself very well to date in the variety of situations she has found herself in. At her U in the interactive gaming courses she took, she said the classes were mostly ‘weird’ males. She becamse friends with the other kid who also thought most of the others in the class were pretty odd.</p>
<p>She said there were absolutely no romantic overtures and no need to push back at any of these events and I believe her. I guess we have all had different experiences.</p>
<p>As the mother of a 13-year old girl, I’d probably be OK with it but would want to have a conversation with the host parents first just to make sure they are keeping an eye on things. I’d also prefer to host it at my house as others have suggested.</p>
<p>Question for alh. You said, “We have no idea if there will only be 13 year old males at home during this party. There could be older brothers, or neighbors. There could be the Dad’s pedophile drinking buddy.” Couldn’t the same be said of allowing your daughter to go to a friend’s house if that friend is a girl?</p>
<p>I agree with alh it’s not so much the elementary school kids she knows but the friends of friends, older brothers of friends, etc. It’s sad and patronizing but I’d feel better if she had a very well trusted “big brother” of her own go who wasn’t shy about pushing back if he saw a problem. </p>
<p>I remember the basement days myself very well. It’s where I learned to kiss and to push back. </p>
<p>Who said anything about basements?</p>
<p>suzy: I think there is greater risk when there is one female in a house of (mostly) unknown men.
I may be completely wrong about that.</p>
<p>My kids are long grown. I was very careful about the time they spent in houses where I didn’t know the parents extremely well. I wouldn’t have been comfortable with allowing a 13 yr old son to attend the gaming party described till I found out a lot more about the family. By the time my sons were in their mid teens, they had enough experience to judge these things themselves. At that time they told me where they could and couldn’t go. Sometimes there were parties that looked fine to me and they told me “no way” </p>
<p>I agree it is nice that for some the first reaction is not to worry about a teenage girl alone with a group of teenage boys her parents don’t know.
I was raped at 15 by my 15 yr old “boyfriend”, so my reaction is to be more proactive.</p>
<p>emeraldkity: I am so very sorry.</p>
<p>As a mother of a daughter with mostly male friends (even now in college) and somebody who as a teen had mostly male friends (we played lots of video games back then - often in basements) I vote for hosting the group in your house to get to know the boys (who will most likely turn out to be nerds). After you meet them you may think it OK to let her go to their houses also. </p>
<p>Nope, I wouldn’t let her. Teen boys that you don’t know well, in a situation that is ripe for ‘group think’, it’s not an ideal situation. I like the idea of having them come to your house if that’s possible. I know she says she doesn’t think of them in 'that way, and that is probably true. But it’s not about how she views them. It’s more about how they might view her.</p>
<p>EK4, so sorry about your rape, especially by a BF that you trusted. That would definitely be horrific and take a lot of time to heal from.</p>
<p>Agree that the safest thing is if you be the host/hostess and get to know the boys before you decide to have your D be the only rose among the thorns. 
As mentioned above, I did allow D to attend and she had no regrets, but she was in HS and the kids were folks she went to HS with AND parents were home.</p>
<p>Thanks, I was pretty naive I think, he was my first boyfriend in high school.
I don’t think my parents ever met him, maybe once.</p>
<p>I’m guessing these are nerdy kids. If that’s the case, they’re tame, but I’d still have the party at my house.</p>
<p>I’m having a problem with the fact that we seem to think nerdy kids can’t do bad things to people.</p>
<p>Ema: excellent point. Nerdy kids are pretty much like all other kids in that respect in my experience. Some nice, some not so nice. Some downright evil.</p>