@“Yalie 2011” why are you asking? Is this for a friend, hypothetical, or for your consulting business?
Oh…this time…you are his mentor. I see. What exactly are you mentoring him FOR?
You are a 24-25 year old. Do younreally think EVERYTHING you do in life is going to be resume building? Some people do things because they enjoy them. Think of that.
You know…not EVERYONE can be the star of their ECs. ECs should also be done for enjoyment.
My kid was on the swim team for four years. The kid was NEVER (read that again NEVER) a starter. In fact, there were swim meets she never swam in…at all. But she attended every single practice…and never missed a meet. It never dawned on me to tell her to quit because she had “no talent”, and it wasn’t doing anything for her resume or admissions to college.
Oh…and it didn’t dawn on her coach or teammates either. And she got accepted to the colleges of her choice. Imagine that.
You have not indicated the EC so answers may vary, many EC’s can help you later in life…if his grades are not good then I think the time he spends on ECs should be limited. I imagine many of us on this forum are not “inner-city” at this stage of our lives. My understanding is the odds are better for all if you have a higher education. I think you should understand his/her plan. For instance, if this kid is entering high school and says they want to go to a top 100 university and get a degree so they can become an XXX, then are they on that path? If this EC is holding them back from that path, then they either need to be more realistic and change the path or change something and perhaps that is to decrease time on that EC.
Thinking about this more overnight, I think telling this kid to stop the EC would be bad advice. It sounds like this is an inner city kid who has an EC he likes and participates in with friends. It keeps him busy and out of trouble. I think telling the kid to stop this for purposes of test prep and resume building is really misguided. I don’t think you should even mention it.
Who asked you to mentor this kid in addition to tutoring? Did a parent ask you to help him get into a selective college? Did the kid ask what he should do to get into a selective college, or are you thinking about offering unsolicitated advice? If it is the latter, you should not do it.
@thumper1 Agreed! Sometimes an EC is about enjoyment, friendship and it’s does look good to be committed to something for all of HS. My son is not the top competitor in either of his EC’s, but what he has gained by being involved is what matters. He has developed an amazing set of friends and mentored younger teammates. I know he will have amazing rec’s from both of his coaches, who can speak about watching him grow and take on responsibilities and leadership over the four years of HS. It’s not always about being the best, but what you gain from the experience.
OP, you need to be careful, because we know that you are trying to launch a college consulting business. If you are getting all your answers by asking us all the time, not sure that’s a good use of your clients’ money. FWIW, I agree with virtually all the other posters.
I’m not trying to launch any business. This is my volunteer activity and though I’m interested in starting a non profit to help students who get little to no guidance from parents and GCs, it’s just a dream at this point.
This kid was paired with me because he is gifted and wants to go to top schools. He is fully capeable of it, just got his priorities tangled.
I didn’t suggest anything to him about this EC but I was thinking about it as so I thought input of some parents can be useful. He has an SAT coming up but he is spending all his time including weekends doung EC related activities. I know that he aced PSAT without any prep but could be a fluke. Most of his friends aren’t A grade students and aiming to pursue that activity in state schools and continue it as a profession. It makes sense for them to spend that kind of time on it.
I do feel that he enjoys this EC but mainly because of the feeling of belonging to a group. I guess I was underestimating value of that feeling, thanks for making me see it from his pcercpective.
His parents are against his spending time on things that may stop him from being successful. I guess if he really wants that then he’ll manage his time himself. If he doesn’t listen to them then he would ignore my advice as well.
An inner-city kid may need those friendships more than you can imagine. They may help him not get picked on in school, in a tough neighborhood. They may give him self-esteem when he feels that even though he is gifted, he needs a tutor and is competing against students who have a lot of advantages over him/her. He may even need those friends later in life because a top college can be a lonely place for a minority or inner-city kid.
My suggestion is that if there is an activity you think he should be doing, an extracurricular you think he would enjoy that would ‘help’ his college application, suggest that. If what you think is that he needs to study more for his SAT or ACT, recommend he do that. Of course, if he aced the PSAT and is a very good test-taker and is an inner-city kid, you may be wrong that what he needs is more test prep.
@“Yalie 2011”, if there is a Breakthrough Collaborative site in the city where you live, contact them to see how you can get involved. I help out with some college counseling related activities at one location. They are doing what you hope to do – help under resourced kids get ready for college and support them through the college application process.
I would think it very rare for someone to ace the PSAT as a fluke. At least in my experience I never seen anyone acing the PSAT and bombing the SAT. Yes the score can go down but still in an ok range. I might be wrong though, I just never seen it.
@intparent I appreciate your tip. I’m looking into these programs but doesn’t have time to take on another responsibility at the moment. I sure hope to do it at some point.
Our local location is usually looking for volunteers for a few things:
Help with college essay editing.
Help in the teacher hiring process (usually a couple of evenings in the March timeframe, and sometimes I help review video submissions for teacher positions)
Help in the student selection process. You read a bunch of middle school student files, then get together for an evening to rank and evaluate the applicants. Again, this is in the spring.
Other locations may do these things differently, of course. There is some autonomy across the locations.
None of those are hugely time consuming, nor do they require time during the day. If you are thinking about starting a non-profit in this area, this is a place to get your feet wet with an organization that is in the nitty gritty of this work. I’d suggest that you check this summer and see if the local programs have an open house, and go visit during it if they do. It is a great look at the work they are doing and a way to get a feel for the organization.
@“Yalie 2011” , sorry to be a nuisance, but as per your post on 1-14-2017, you stated “I’ve interest in starting a college admission consultancy…” You may well be volunteering your time for all any of us knows, but don’t make it seems as though I pulled that out of thin air.
My daughter ran XC every year in high school. She was mediocre and still is, but she still runs for fitness and mental health.
The real question to ask about any EC is ‘what are you getting out of this?’ This question will make a kid reflect and realize he has a choice, but if the choice is to persevere in spite of a lack of aptitude, it’s important to respect that.
I think it is wonderful that you are volunteering to mentor a gifted student in a program for high achieving inner city students, which is what I am getting from your posts. And that you came on here seeking advice.
I think the answers in this situation might be different for an inner city student who is in the pipeline, so to speak, for a good college- than for a middle class suburban kid. I am going to PM you.
Just wanted to express some appreciation for the caring you are showing for a young person with potential.
It sounds like what this student needs is help with time management, and that IS something I think a mentor should help with. His EC might be video games or basketball or fantasy football, and there is no reason he needs to spend unlimited time on it. If it is something he likes, even though he’s not great at it, that’s fine. Schedule it. And schedule the other things he needs to do too.
I think he will listen to a mentor much more than a parent. Almost all kids would prefer not to hear things from their parents but will listen to a slightly older ‘friend.’ I also think most kids would like to hear “why not try XX” rather than “you’re doing too much ZZ, so stop.” Time management.
I used to babysit for some kids who really liked basketball. The older boy asked me if I thought he could be really good at it. His father was about 5’9" and his mother 5’2" (on a good day). Genetics weren’t his friend. I told him to enjoy it as much as he could in grade school, have fun, but no, I didn’t think the NBA was in his future.
Without more details no one can tell you what your advice should be. My youngest was on the literary magazine only because his friends were involved. It was not a big time sink, so no harm no foul. He also did two orchestras for four years despite being only a workmanlike violin player. I think that activity mostly helped him. A thrid EC started by accident probably helped him the most because he wrote his main Common App essay about it. And an even better essay answered the “What is your favorite EC and why”. This is all a roundabout way to say - there is a lot of opportunity to write about the ECs as part of your college application. So I’d encourage him to think about it, but not necessarily to drop it.