I volunteer with a group that helps first generation and low income students. What we have found is having them do even a one week program at a college really helps with motivation and confidence. This may have more to do with our rural population though.
Has he had a chance to spend time on a campus?
No. He is too busy for that, questionable priorities.
Not saying it applies in this situation but sometimes people, especially teens and preteens, don’t stretch themselves to try new things out of fear of failure, looking stupid, or being out of their comfort zone. Even OFs like me are guilty of this. 
So, I can imagine it might be even more challenging for a disadvantaged youth.
The OP says he is a tutor and bit of a mentor to an inner-city academically talented student who seems to be focusing more on a non-academic pursuit (I am thinking a sport) than school. The kid seems to have the potential to go to college, which perhaps many of his peers do not IF he focuses more on the academics including testing. I would think that for a kid from a low performing inner city HS, having high test scores would be important for top college. I also don’t get the negativity toward the OP, as this kid may have nobody else giving him this information.
The goal would be to get the student to see for himself that academics should be at the top of his list. The OP can certainly point out how close the student is to being a candidate for a top school, and that more time on schoolwork or even test prep would help. Further, he can tell him how difficult it is for any student to get into a college on athletics, particularly if this kid is in HS and not being recruited. It may not make him drop his sport for debate team, but it may at least get the wheels turning so he can come to the decision on his own.
I would not suggest telling him the EC is holding him back, but just show him what he could be doing and where he could go if his scores and GPA were a bit higher. As others have suggested, other programs or resources could be eye opening. At that point, if he decides to continue on this path there is nothing you can do and you would need to back off and let the chips fall where they may, while continuing to help as you can.
I have been a volunteer, 3 days a week, at an inner city school Family Resource Center for many years, and I applaud the OP for his efforts, and for his concern to think before stepping in and potentially causing harm. I don’t always get to help the “smart” kids, but I have helped a few of them, including two who went on to become Questbridge scholars.
We don’t have enough details about the EC, but I think OP’s point about “questionable priorities” is fair. If this young person tests well, he/she is likely pretty smart. But we don’t know how much they trust OP yet - and from my limited experience, inner city kids are often distrusting of others.
I see no problem in encouraging kids with potential to broaden their horizons. How OP could go about this is the question. A quick story - One of my earlier encounters involved a young woman whose spent a lot of time with her friends in Double Dutch - even though she was terrible at jumping rope herself, at least she was good at twirling it. She was a very bright kid who was bored in class and didn’t feel the need to do her homework. Her mom had died of cancer, and her dad worked two jobs and was rarely home, but he agreed with the school counselor that she needed to be pushed in the right direction. I told her I was asked to help review her homework, but I told her I volunteered because I found when I help other people, it helps me stay young. It took a while for her to trust me, but I think the breakthrough we had was when I told her I wasn’t there to judge, because I was learning as much about her as I hoped she’d learn about the world. I could tell she needed her friends, and I think she was passive-aggressively failing her advanced level classes so she’d end up in the lower class with her friends.
After a while working with her, with permission from her father, I spoke with her teacher and we came up with an extra credit project she could do to catch up. She finally started doing homework and pulled her grade up from a zero to a B. One of her friends got pregnant and stopped doing double dutch, as her younger sister also got pregnant by the same baby daddy (14 years later and I am now helping her niece).
She was a success story for me, as I know I made a difference. She took a long path, but she invited me to her graduation from nursing school, and although I could not attend, I remain very proud of her. She and her husband just bought a house in the neighborhood where I grew up.
At the time, I didn’t understand her need for Double Dutch, but it was her need to be accepted that mattered most. I realize that if I hadn’t shared more about myself to her, especially about why I was volunteering, then I would not have gotten her trust. Once she trusted me a little bit, she was able to understand my wanting to know about her “questionable priorities” and gain a different perspective.
What can be discouraging are the other kids I have tried to work with who simply don’t care, and seem happy to waste their talents, and stop showing up to our program.
And sometimes teen boys need a big pillow of time before they want to think analytically about their own lives and direction. Their brains may not be ready or they can be tired, from whatever focus on schoolwork itself.
With our girls, we sometimes had to present new ideas obliquely.
Do wish we knew more about this kid’s EC and what his promise seems to be.
Some kids participate in ECs because they enjoy them. It’s not all about college apps.
True but if EC is taking up your life without giving you any advantage and effecting your studies and future success then enjoyment becomes a very long term high interest loan. All of us want to have fun with friends, it’s not a unique need and very justified upto a certain extent, after that it becomes another form of addiction.
You didn’t say this kid is addicted to the EC. You said he has “no talent” for it and that it’s not going to look good on his resume. All IN YOUR OPINION, of course, because you’re not a college admissions officer.
How do you KNOW it’s not giving him “any advantage” and how do you KNOW he’s not any good at it? How do you KNOW it won’t look good to colleges? You don’t. You think you have a miracle formula, but you don’t know what any school he applies to will think. If it’s a formal EC, which practices, games, performances, etc., it’s a valid EC. Kiddo might not be great at it, but that he’s doing it regularly says he can commit to something.
By the way, am I correct in guessing English is not a first language for you? I see some misspellings and word usage mistakes that lead me to think so (using "effecting " vs. "affecting, for example). Perhaps you just don’t understand where this kid is coming from. One need not have what you think is an “approved” EC to get into college. And wanting to be around friends is hardly an addiction. Please. Help this kid with his academics and stop trying to do amateur
psychology.
Yalie, I hate to be that person but since you might be involved in helping him edit his essays or something else that requires written communication, the word you’re looking for is “affecting” not “effecting.” You’ve said it twice now so I’m assuming it’s not a typo.
I’ve nothing against EC’s, they enrich a person, provide social circle and build self confidence. However, just because media glorifies actors and singers, it doesn’t mean everyone can be a celebrity when one didnt get beyond chorus or no line roles in last three years of school plays. There isn’t much to show to colleges or build a career upon. Few hours would be good but spending most of your time on one single EC, is questionable to me.
Mind you that I’vent said it to him, this thread is more to understand the issue and possible solutions . I only mentioned to him that spending so much time on one EC isn’t the right appraoach, he needs to do time better management.
Well, even though I was born here and actually know the proper use of effect/affect, I make mistakes like that on a casual message board where I am typing stream of thought and quickly. I definitely wouldn’t on a proofread and edited essay or business memo. I personally will cut the OP slack on that one.
@“Yalie 2011” Just tell us the EC if you want informed advice to you OP.
I suck at grammar and it’s fine, it never held me back. We aren’t an English colony any more.
Removed what could be considered political comment
ED
I’m bowing out of this conversation, @“Yalie 2011”. There is zero reason for you to not provide more clarity on the EC. The conversation is going to be circular without it. No reason to be so vague.
In the parent experience, telling a teen, “spending so much time on one EC isn’t the right appraoach, he needs to do better time management,” can lead straight to a shutdown. And it is kinda bossy, a bit tiger-ish.
Plus it’s binary: agree or disagree. Teen boys tend to just disagree.
Parents often know how to communicate to “be heard.” And often, it’s like sales 101: getting the other to think the goal or an idea is his own.
Why not just ask him, “Wanna talk about college?” Versus “telling” him. Add to all this, he may not think you’re an authority, in the first place.
Tread gently. Let kim keep his self respect, flawed or not. It’s key.
Are there things that are kind of the same but different from what he is doing? Such as, if he is a rapper would going to a spoken word event be interesting?
Nobody can understand the “issue” or offer “solutions” to what, so far, is a subjective opinion based on what you think colleges want. What is the kid doing? Playing Yu-gi-oh every day? Is he online gaming with his friends? Giving posters a category isn’t invading his privacy.
How much time is he spending on this activity? How do you know he doesn’t do anything else? Did his parents tell you? Did he? You’re looking for support for what you want to do without providing the details people need to make an informed decision. That’s like people asking you to commit to doing them a favor before telling you what that favor is. No reasonable person will agree to that.
I agree with @doschicos. If you want useful advice, you have to give us something concrete to go on.
One of my kids was never going to be a professional musician…or play in the NY Phil or BSO. Still she spent TONS of hours per week taking instrument lessons, playing in a precollege orchestra, and playing in her school wind ensemble.
Again…she NEVER was going to be a professional…never.
Two instrument lessons per week. Two ensembles. Well worth her time.
I agree, it’s time to end this thread. We are at 100th post and so far consensus say that I should let him decide what he wants to do with his time. My job is to help with Calculus problems and let him know of opportunities out there that he can avail if he wants to. Its not my place to decide what’s good for him. I appreciate your replies.