We don’t know what the EC is, so it’s hard to say if it’s a waste or not. The student could be part of marching band but not be very good at their instrument, or working for a company that violates labor laws (or worse). I think people wouldn’t be so hostile if the OP was more clear in their first post, with regards to the EC and their relationship to the student.
I understand but I don’t want to violate his privacy.
I thought this was a good point. I have known some kids who (for example) wanted a career in musical or theater performing who didn’t have any hope of achieving that. It’s one thing to encourage them to continue an EC they enjoy, but it’s something else to encourage them in thinking it’s a possibility as a career.
I’d like to add that it’s not unusual for kids to find that they’re spending a lot of time on an EC that they don’t actually enjoy, but continue out of inertia. (This happened to one of my kids with youth sports.)
Every student should have somebody to talk to who can ask the student about long-term goals, and to discuss ways of achieving those goals–including whether the goals are realistic or not. We don’t have enough facts to know whether it’s appropriate for the OP to take on this role with this student, but it might be.
From his posts, I get the sense that OP is from a different culture than that of the student he is mentoring. I also get the sense from this and other threads that OP has a “stats trump all” viewpoint. That’s probably playing into his view that the student is wasting his time and that the EC won’t help him since it doesn’t boost his GPA or test scores.
Here’s the thing, OP: at MOST colleges, stats aren’t everything. EC’s count, even if a kid isn’t the next Tom Brady, Picasso or Aretha Franklin. An EC that a student is dedicated to, has worked hard at, shows a lot more than raw talent. It can show determination, a willingness to keep trying, perhaps rising to an officer’s position. These things matter, especially when we’re talking about a student coming from challenging circumstances. No, really, they don’t need to be on the swim team and making State, or playing the piano, or the violin, or some of the other “must haves” for the supposed formula to get into a good college. Really. I see it happen, and I live and work in an area where there are students just exactly like the one you’re mentoring.
I’m wondering if in YOUR world the student’s EC isn’t considered a “good” one. That you think he should quit and go for one that you deem more appropriate. If so, keep your mouth shut. That this kid has kept at something is a good thing. He may never be a starter, or a lead, or a captain, but he’s showing that he doesn’t quit. That will matter. It also possible that in his world, this EC gets a lot of respect. Maybe you don’t like tap-dancing (just and example), but the shows he’s in each spring might bring out hundreds from his church and neighborhood and they value the back-up dancers just as much as the leads. The program might (as one I’m involved with does) require a certain GPA and dedicated homework time to remain. It might require parent volunteer hours, which keeps the parents involved with their kids’ well-being. You don’t know, and you’re impression that the kid is wasting his time might not only be wrong, but offensive to the student and his family. Help with with his tests if that’s what you’re supposed to be doing, but let him “live his life” as the kids say.
Dang, people are being pretty mean to the OP, whose motive is to help this kid and is asking for advice. Keep his mouth shut? Really?
In addition to the great suggestion of Questbridge, if the student happens to be a person of color, other excellent college prep programs include:
Posse Foundation https://www.possefoundation.org/about-posse/locations
A Better Chance http://www.abetterchance.org/index.aspx
Prep for Prep (NYC) https://www.prepforprep.org
I also don’t understand the hostility in this thread. Does calling something an EC suddenly make it sacred, and not to be messed with? My son loves playing video games with his friends. If I called that an EC (it is extra curricular, after all, and you can become a professional video gamer), and said I wanted him to try other things too, would people scream at me?
My take on this is that the child is playing some sport, which he likes doing with his friends, but obviously isn’t particularly good at it. And likely isn’t that passionate about either. OP would like the child to try some more academic-oriented ECs, to broaden his horizons, maybe expand his interests. After all, a major purpose of ECs is exploration, discovering what you like, who you are, etc.
My vague advice would be to encourage the other things, as opposed to discouraging the thing he’s doing. If there are time conflicts, maybe he can try it in the offseason, or take a week or two break, or something like that. You can point out the positive aspects of these other ECs, maybe mention how it’s good to try different things, etc. Ultimately, the child has to make the choice. But if you present enough information, maybe he’ll be more likely to see the right path.
Yes, @Hunt, really. Let’s say that the student plays basketball at the Boys & Girls Club. Let’s say he’s only 5’6" and let’s say OP thinks sports are a waste of time. But even so, he “knows” that the kid is never going to get a basketball scholarship and what’s more, thinks the kid should be playing a brass instrument (saw that on a thread of what students MUST do to get into college). But what he doesn’t know is that Nate Robinson was a pro basketball player at only 5’6 or so, and that he’s something of a hero to Seattle kids who play basketball. He might not realize that to play a brass instrument, the kid would need money he doesn’t have. Or maybe the kid is deeply involved in his church choir, including fund-raising, singing at events throughout the week, plus practices, and the OP has no idea how that could be helpful to his college app package. But church is very important in some cultures, as a social outlet in addition to being an EC. Asking the student to give it up would likely bring down some parental wrath and possibly even pulling the kid out of the tutoring program.
THAT is why he should keep his mouth shut unless he is very, very clear on the message he wants to send. Telling someone that their sport/hobby/talent isn’t valuable is not usually a way to generate trust or respect.
Or maybe the student only plays basketball because it’s the EC he is most familiar with, and all his friends really like basketball. Maybe the people he plays with aren’t really his friends, but basketball is the cool sport to play, and the student is worried about seeming cool. And maybe he really likes science and would want to join the science Olympiad, but is worried that others will see him as a nerd, or is worried about doing something without his friends around. Or maybe the student doesn’t even know that the science Olympiad even exists. We don’t really know much about the situation based on what the OP has told us.
Somehow, I don’t think OP was talking sports or music, but something many of us would consider lesser. Yes, it would help if OP at least gave us an idea of the category.
And some need to note OP backed off a bit.
My kids were lousy at sports, but kept at it, loved it. I could spot them in a game by how they lagged behind and were chatting on-field. But they loved it. And all these years later, they still talk about their teams.
Thing is, without seeming to judge or push, OP can say to the kid, would you like to talk about college options? OP can talk in generalities, different sorts of colleges and their expectations (helps to know the different expectations, of course.) Then as OP processes the feedback, see how much guidance the kid wants and can understand.
If this kid is aiming for, say, a directional, maybe it’s not a wrong choice, if it’s where he can shine. Or if he’s outright dreaming, thinks he’s off to a tippy top, OP can talk around the issues, what it not only takes, but the competition once there. Casual, comfortable and open to listening.
All sorts of ways, without molding, if the kid isn’t ready to be molded.
An, they can talk affordability.
OP hasn’t clarified whether or not “molding” is even in his job description. If it is, why isn’t he having this discussion with the parents?
So, OP, why don’y you tell us what this students EC is? It’s anonymous after all and the we can forgo more speculation. 
I’m not talking about sitting on the couch playing games that the kid likes, but some kind of formal EC with set times, practices, meetings, etc. Whatever it is, I get the distinct impression that it’s something about which the OP does not approve. If it was academic in nature, chances are it would fit his description of a worthy EC. Maybe this kid IS sticking with the EC “just” to be with friends, but kids have been known to grow and stretch and try hard even when choosing something “just” because of joining something because of friends. I know. Mine was one of them.
D joined her church choir as a little kid because her auntie suggested it. She stayed in it all the way through to HS graduation, and added a 2nd church choir mostly because of the friends she had there. She never was lead or solo material, but she did have roles as secretary, treasurer and president. She learned about music and singing parts, and did actually get convinced to solo a couple of times. SO WHAT if she wasn’t great? Staying with an EC that she enjoyed and learned from most of her life says something. Had OP or someone like him suggested that she give up her Thursday nights and Saturday afternoons and Sunday mornings for something more meaningful, you can BET we’d have been offended.
No one here knows the whole picture, including the OP. Maybe not being great at something (and how does he even know?) but dedicated is actually going to be seen as a positive factor in the kid’s admissions. Maybe he ALSO has some interests that are academic. We don’t know. My D certainly did. But I don’t think it’s the place of a tutor to decide that what the kid does is “holding him back”, unless it truly is a negative. But isn’t it here on CC that we often see that EC’s, if stuck to, and followed through, are a plus, even if one is not a superstar? There’s helping and there’s judging, and I got the impression OP was doing just that regarding this kid’s EC.
I thought my son was totally wasting his time playing video games, but it turned out he was also spending part of that time being the lead programmer on a mod that won “Mod of the Year” from a Gaming Magazine.
I think it’s pretty natural for a tutor to also give advice on the rest of the college application process, but I do feel like we don’t really know enough. An inner-city first gen kid is not going to need the same test scores as someone from the middle class. Since we don’t know anything about this kid hard to give useful advice.
One thing we did with our second kid was print out the Common Application relatively early in high school - just so he could see what the check boxes were, and what sort of things they asked about. He still did what he wanted, but he had a basis for some of his decisions.
I don’t detect any hostility here. I think people have used language that shows the strength of their concern and disapproval, but perhaps are genuinely concerned. It’s very common for people from - let’s say - more privileged circumstances to project their values onto others without fully understanding cultural nuances. TO that end, people have brought up really good points: this EC, whatever it is, could be providing some socially necessary benefit to the child in question.
It could even be video games (as @thshadow alluded to), but if the video games are - let’s say - keeping him safe inside with other good-natured friends and off the streets when things are dangerous, or if they let him blow off steam and work out frustrations and pressures of daily life, or maybe he streams and makes videos teaching other kids how to get started in the game or navigate past difficult parts or just connects with an online community that way - why would we stop a kid from doing that?
The issue was not “I want him to try other things too”; the issue seemed to be that the OP wants the kid to do something instead of whatever the activity is, because OP feels that the child is “wasting time”, has “no talent” for it and is not giving him “opportunities for resume, admission or profession.”
I agree with much of the strong negative reaction (I hope that phrasing is OK?), based on the initial post. That’s the way I felt on reading that as well.
But from later posts, I’ve been giving OP the benefit of the doubt (possibly too much). My reading of the question is “how can I encourage a disadvantaged kid to expand his horizons and step out of his comfort zone a bit?”
I imagine that many of our perspectives are of pushing kids too much - I know that I fight not to do that to my kids. But kids from different situations might have the opposite problem, too.
I’m not offended by people telling me to back off. I understand that theit concern us same as mine, to not harm him while trying to help.
thshadow put it perfectly
I see nothing wrong with suggesting activities that you think the kid might be good at and enjoy. He might give debate a whirl and find out he loves it, for example. Or the math team. Or acting. Encouraging him to expand his horizons is great. He may take up a new activity, he may not. But at least the possibility will have been put before him.
On the other hand, as we all agree, telling a kid that he isn’t good at something and that therefore it is a waste of time would be destructive, and you shouldn’t do it.
I would also point out that if this kid is a gifted first gen student, and a person of color, who is academically talented enough to have a shot at no-loans, meets-need schools, then that would be BY FAR the best thing for he and his family financially. Seeing him held back by low expectations would be a shame, and if that is the case I understand your frustration. And yes, Questbridge, definitely.
Thank you.