<p>now some of us are expected to work… as we SHOULD be , unless we do not financially require it, children or no children. … Some sahm are lazy as are some workers as are many people. I do not know any sahm who still have young children. I can think of 2 who were sahm and now their youngest children are early 20s. I do know some 20-30 year old women that are expected to take on all child care and still have a job as circumstances require it, they do shift work, etc. Let’s not forget many many many people have to work and do all the house work/child care etc, not every woman that works has an au pair etc… I have many co workers, sleeping 4 hours or so, so they can work night shift and have their husband, bf, mother, father, etc watch their children during the night. Generations of women in my family have worked both here and in other countries, it was the expectation. The city dwellers in factories, maids, office work, anything really etc, the rural ones in farms, ( not always their own farms). Children were shuffeled along much they same way they are now. lol</p>
<p>I haven’t worked for pay in about 15 years, and I’m lucky that I don’t have to work for financial reasons. I’m far from bored - in fact, I still feel that there are not enough hours in the day. I just came back from a four day school trip for 60 people that I helped arrange, and I have found that volunteering, especially fundraising and event planning, can be pretty high stress. It is easy to get involved in a big way so that it is nearly like a stimulating career with lots of deadlines and interactions with interesting people. </p>
<p>My home is very high-maintenance, inside and out, and I spend two or three hours a day in the warmer months gardening. </p>
<p>Probably the best part of not working, other than the flexibility of my schedule, is the time I can devote to exercise, which helps me feel great and stay positive. I still have children at home, so I’m also still cooking meals, etc., at regular times, and I’m able to devote ample time to making healthy, home cooked dinners. My dream is to start a small business after my youngest goes off to college - I have a product idea that I’d like to develop fully.</p>
<p>I quit my job 22 years ago when my first child was born. I thought that eventually I would have to go back to work to help pay for college. I had to pay my own way through college and was not going to do that to my kids. I have spent a lot of time volunteering at schools, church, Girl Scouts, sports organizations, etc. Fortunate financial circumstances meant I did not have to return to work, so I have not. I really did not enjoy my job and do not miss it. People occasionally ask me if I feel my engineering degree was wasted, but I don’t think education is ever wasted. When I get negative comments about not working, my rationalization is that I am not taking a job that someone else needs to support themselves 
Works for me, I do not judge anyone on their individual choices and do not like to be judged on mine.</p>
<p>I might add that I know several people whose children are grown who have chosen not to work and it works for them. I have both a close friend and a SIL who are doing this. Neither was able to stay home when their kids were small but they have that opportunity now so why not. Although I am happy to be back at work, I have no problem with the choices that others make.</p>
<p>Would I work if I didn’t have to?</p>
<p>I would quit working at my current job IN A HEARTBEAT if I could, but I would not quit working - I would volunteer more at church, help with adult literacy projects in my community, write that novel that I’ve been planning forever, and spend a lot more time in my garden. There are so many good causes to support and so many personally fulfilling things to do that I would never be bored if I were at home.</p>
<p>I can’t wait to retire.</p>
<p>This is a guilt I have (mentioned a couple posts above) - that in a few years I might be able to retire and that will be the exact point at which I will become empty nest…so I have guilt that I have worked all the while I’ve had children at home (though with a flexible schedule) but I MAY not work once they are gone. Just seems weird to/for me.</p>
<p>I am green with envy at all you women who can afford to stay home. My H has many great qualities, but he is not good with money. He spent to much when he had it, and now his industry is in severe decline. He is retraining and working hard, but no money yet.</p>
<p>I am the family bread-winner, and the stress is really hard on me.</p>
<p>I enjoy my work tremendous (in many ways, the favorite part of my day), but the commute is a killer, and I am rebellious. I do not enjoy my lack of choice.</p>
<p>Oh well. </p>
<p>Right now I am off for a while so I can enjoy it!</p>
<p>The time to exercise is the most precious commodity I think.</p>
<p>Job is privilige and entertainment. I have no plans to retire. I will eventually be kicked out or not able to work beacause of health issues as most of us later on in life. Cannot see myself gong anywhere bu straight into the box and undergraound when it happens. I guess, this is inevitable part of life, sometime we cannot control if it happens sooner or later.
“The time to exercise is the most precious commodity I think” - Agree. But I do not see myslef doing it more than 2 hrs daily, which I have been doing for the last couple decades while working full time and being busy with the kid. Why not exercise if you like it? I did even when I was going to school in addition to above. Possibly because of that, I do not know what is stress. I have no idea how it feels to be under stress. I always feel that you either control situation or not. If you have control, then you operate on priority basis, going thru required activities. If you do not have control, then there is nothing to worry about, worry will not solve anything. So, what is the stress?</p>
<p>I have a thyroid issue and get REALLY fat REALLY quickly if I don’t work out A LOT. So every day when I get home from work at 5:30, I have to work out until 7:30 and then shower. Then I have to cook and eat and do dishes, and by the time I am done with all that it is often 9 or 10. Then I still have to make lunch for the next day and by the time I am done with that I have to get ready for bed. HEAVEN FORBID we need to run an errand on a weekday, everything gets blown to pieces, and if I try to watch a tv show or something with boyfriend something else doesn’t get done. I know people manage to do ten million more things in an evening than I do, but I just can’t cope. I admit, it’s a failing of mine, I am TERRIBLE at fitting everything I need to do in a day into 24 hours without losing sleep. Always have been.</p>
<p>I am really grateful that I’ll have a choice, it will really make a big difference for our family. But, we are making huge sacrifices in terms of quality of life to make that happen. For us, the trade off makes sense, but for others it wouldn’t.</p>
<p>^I am also exercising for 2 hrs every day without thyroid problem…or maybe I have one, who knows? I can gain weight very easily, just overeating at all inclusive since the food is awesome, but it comes off when I get home. How do you know if you have a thyroid problem and do not want to go to doc for testing? Any symptoms? My weight goes up and down 15 lbs easily, I do not pay too much attention to it as long as I can fit into my clothes, I hate shopping.
Please, do not feel bad if you are not done 100% of today’s planned activities. I try to do them in priority sequence, but many times I feel like doing what I love, so be it. If something is not done, if your life does not depend on it, then it is not done, so what. I will not skip my exercise, not for anything at all, except if other family member needs my presence instead and we cannot exercise together. I can skip my dinner though, most of the time I definitely skip cooking and have to admit that I am not fond of showers except when I absolutely have to take them - before going to work. They just dry my skin so badly, it is dry to begin with, but shower is about 5 min. maybe it is not even worthwhile to mention. I absolutely cannot watch TV without doing something at the same time. If I am not busy, I feel restless, maybe that is how stress feels? I also have more hours to fill as I sleep only 3 - 5 hrs, I would get headache if I sleep longer.</p>
<p>
I could have written that post and totally agree with it. I would have liked a choice along the way, but I did have a choice of husand and wouldn’t trade him for anything.</p>
<p>I also have thyroid disease, so I work out generally at 9 pm on weeknights and early on weekend mornings. It’s the only time I can do it because I don’t have household help.</p>
<p>^Then hire one, it is very worthwhile, will add years to your life, although you might not actually live longer, having few additional hours to yourself every week is very worthwhile. At my age, it is actually very worthwhile to enjoy every single day that comes my way.</p>
<p>I completely respect other families’ choices, but I would never hire household help. I just don’t believe in that.</p>
<p>Look on it another way, Zoosermom. How much good are you going to be to anybody if you overdo to the point of knocking yourself out of commission. Sometimes you have to be willing to delegate some of the responsibility.</p>
<p>If you can afford to hire someone and you will do right by whomever you hire to provide this service (for example, pay properly), I don’t see why it would be an “I don’t believe in” type of an issue.</p>
<p>No, we do not hire anyone for this kind of work in our home, but I understand there are other people out there who can only be pulled in so many directions or are physically not able to do certain kinds of work themselves.</p>
<p>I’m with zoosermom and mythmom – breadwinner, always have been, stressed beyond belief. I wish I’d been able to make the choice of staying home or working, at least when the kids were younger. I feel like I missed so many things. </p>
<p>Good for you, zoosermom – working out at nights! I set the alarm at 6 am so I can go to the gym before work, but all too often, my “work out” consists of hitting the snooze button. </p>
<p>The stress will kill you. Finding a way to reduce it is an ongoing quest.</p>
<p>I am a SAHM mostly and have been most of my life .When kids were in school ,I was lunch server ,driver for trips , etc .Now as Empty Nester ,I do various volunteer jobs , and sometimes I am a substitute teacher .Have only worked F/T about 8 years of my life . I never had a long stint of full-time work -guess that wasn’t in the cards for me . My H was adamant about me being home with kids when they were pre-school age ,and I did enjoy not working .</p>
<p>Two years ago, I decided to hire a cleaning service for my mom. My mom was also one of those who believed she should be doing it by herself. She has thanked me many times over. My dad has a two acre yard, so we got him a lawn service (fair is fair). They have big tracker and could it so much faster than my dad. He could then focus on planting and gardening.</p>
<p>I worked full time when my kids were little. After my first was born I went back to work after 2 months, for my second back to work after 3 months. When my oldest was in 3rd grade and my youngest in K I was able to stay home. I enjoyed this time of being able to be involved in their school and after school activities. I eventually went back to school and earned a teaching credential. For a few years i worked part time during the mornings and this was wonderful. I could attend all my son’s sporting events and had summers and winter break off. Unfortunately due to budget cuts I lost that job and now substitute teach. It is nice because it’s very flexible but I hope to find a more permanent job once DS2 graduates from high school next year.</p>
<p>Interesting topic (to me). I have not worked since my last job ended in 2007. My wife has talked about going back to work but has been unable to find a job. Meanwhile, we love our lives and our lifestyle. We are not 100% sure it is sustainable, but for the time being, let’s enjoy it. I do wonder sometimes why some people in their 50s just keep plugging away at jobs where they are miserable when they don’t have to. I think many don’t realize that they could step off the ratrace if they tried. Sure, if you have 3 kids in high school you probably have to keep working, but when all kids are out of hs and college is paid for (savings earmarked) I don’t want to try to start enjoying life at age 75 when I might be too old to do some of the fun things I am doing now.</p>
<p>So, is this a “Stay at home Mom” and let Dad work thread? Or is it a “why keep working if you have enough money to downsize, step back and enjoy life?”</p>
<p>NJres–I’m with you in spirit–question, though, how do you handle health insurance? That’s the kicker for us.</p>