<p>Really, who has more 2-ply? Which of these two top universities’ tissue is smoother to the touch? I’ve heard a lot about Harvard’s SPR (Squares Per Roll), but apparently Yale has a greater comfort ratio. Any current students want to comment?</p>
<p>OMG lyke from what i heard, yale toilet paper is too thin but they give you lots. but lyke, harvard has the really ~<em>plush</em>~ kind, but leaves a trail of little bits of white. so mr. pretzelman idun no but dats a real good question.</p>
<p>What about “STANFORD’s TOILET PAPER COMPARED TO YALE’s???” </p>
<p>(I’m trying to add keywords so that datalook’s daily use of the search function with “Stanford vs. Yale” renders this thread as one of the search results.)</p>
<p>But Omg U Guyz, U Forgot To Considur ~<em>~princeton~</em>~ I Mean It’s One Of The Lettres In ~<em>~</em>hypsm~<em>~</em>~, Rite? How Could You Guys B So Ignant?</p>
<p>Of course, how can you forget MIT?</p>
<p>Look, you guys are completely overlooking the quantitative measures. Sure, it’s true that you can’t really put the holistic experience of toilet paper into numbers, but there has to be some objective evaluation. There is no information out there about toilet paper in the residential colleges, but there is extensive data on toilet paper quality in the Old Campus dorms, which correlates very well with overall institutional toilet paper quality. Remember, it’s about QUALITY, not quantity, which negates ewihateapps comments from before (starting petty satirical argument). You guys need to get your facts straight, or you’ll never succeed at anything!</p>
<p>According to a multitude of outside sources, including a former employer of mine who had severe bowel problems, I would group toilet paper into the following groups.</p>
<p>GROUP I:
Stanford
MIT
Dartmouth
Brown
UCB</p>
<p>GROUP II
Yale
UChic
Princeton
Cornell
Columbia</p>
<p>GROUP III
Harvard (total sandpaper)
UPenn (not Wharton, which is even worse)
Johns Hopkins
NU
Rice</p>
<p>Clearly, Yale is not a top 5 toilet paper school. I’m not so much of a Yale ■■■■■ that I think its toilet paper is superior just because of the prestige of the school. When you look at outside wipeage reports and comfort ratings, it is clear that the larger allocation of endowment funds at the Group I institutions has paid off in a tremendous increase in toilet paper quality. While Yale is still a wonderful school that commands a lot of international respect, it is unfortunately probably only #7 in this ranking. Still, given the myraid of facilities in the country offering a place to clean one’s bottom with disposable paper, being in the top ten is a real feat.</p>
<p>Talk about taking an idea and running wild with it…</p>
<p>Bmwdan, my hat’s off to you.</p>
<p>sorry!!! jeez. what i sed wuz in no wai of offending ~<em>~yale~</em>~. i mean, i heard yale gives really good toilet paper aid to even international students who lack toilet paper. </p>
<p>and when i read the stanford board, i actually heard a student bash stanford’s toilet papers saying it chafed them!!! omg u guyz i thought the whole time stanford had a huge endowment for toilet paper but i bet they use “scott” or “angel soft” or some cheapo like dat!!!</p>
<p>
You’re making the faulty assumption that there aren’t more funds available to student committees at Harvard than at the rest of those schools. Putting Harvard in tier 3 is a joke when financially they can afford whatever they want.</p>
<p>UCB in tier 1 is almost as stupid as putting Harvard in tier 3. 33,000+ students and you don’t think they have shortages? Quality is irrelevant if there is no quantity. Columbia in tier 2 is equally questionable given their location and the availability of hobos to come on campus and simply take the toilet paper. The same thing can be said about UPenn, which is the only ivy you should probably bring a rape whistle and mace to.</p>
<p>Cornell should absolutely be #1 in any quantitative measure because of the strength of their hotel management program. Those kids are probably manually making toilet paper and hand-delivering it on silver platters to the dorm rooms. Their internships involve attaching kids with bluetooth headsets to ceilings in dormitory bathrooms to make sure there’s always two rolls in each stall.</p>
<p>I’m not going to argue with Brown and Stanford.</p>
<p>My revised rankings, based on my superior understanding of restrooms:</p>
<p>Tier 1:
Cornell</p>
<p>Tier 2:
Stanford, Harvard, MIT, Yale, Princeton, Johns Hopkins</p>
<p>Tier 3:
Dartmouth, Brown, Chicago, NU, Rice</p>
<p>Tier 4:
UCB, Columbia</p>
<p>Tier 7:
UPenn</p>
<p>Duuuuude. The LAC’s have like THE BEST toilet paper on earth!</p>
<p>Have you visited Washington University in St. Louis? I’m being serious here (amidst this satire)…wash u really has the best restrooms i’ve ever been blessed by god to enter. i could eat off of them.</p>
<p>WashU’s toilet paper is so overrated. And it’s so sad that their school is so terrible that they have to convince you to come because of their toilet paper. There’s no other way that students would ever want to attend that school and they know it.</p>
<p>Can somebody re-rank the best schools for toilet paper with regard to aspiring i-bankers?</p>
<p>I’m saddened to see no liberal arts colleges on these lists. They have a very wide range of quality toilet papers that can be used, which is basically the only reason why I’m applying to Amherst and Williams.</p>
<p>Perhaps the time has come to expand our rankings to include international institutions? It would be a disservice to students considering study-abroad programs not to comprehensively rate toilet paper supply/quality on an global scale. </p>
<p>From my research on the subject, it can be broadly stated that study-abroad opportunities in Switzerland offer the greatest comfort for the discerning bottom. Switzerland also, it may be noted, has the lowest annual number of chafing-related injuries of any industrialized country. Swiss universities (particularly those with highly ranked textile programs, such as Schweizerische Modefachshchule) carry the bright torch of individual handicraft into a mechanized world; each hand-quilted, 3-PLY square of toilet paper in all major Swiss universities is created in the homes of local artisans who consider the crafting of thick, soft, pillow-like tissue a sacred task. This artistry is passed down through generations. Most university suppliers today are third- or fourth-generation craftsmen. </p>
<p>In fact, one may trace Cornell’s practice of manually making all campus tissue (see tetrishead’s highly informative post) to the Swiss culture. Even before there was a hotel school, Ezra Cornell himself encouraged an international collaboration to bring Swiss artisans to NY to pass down the European tradition of handmade toilet paper. (Surely we are all familiar with the original Cornell motto - “Only the softest for the bottoms of any. Any person. Any study.”)</p>
<p>European universities outside of Britain are too difficult to assess within ‘American’ parameters, and we all know Oxbridge has lost much of its’ intangible prestige over the last couple of decades.</p>
<p>While I generally agree that the Swiss have high standards when it comes to soft tissues, if we’re going to seriously consider them then we also need to bring the Germans into the conversation. They are never out of toilet paper, their bathroom monitors are known for ruthless efficiency. Their toilet paper has the additional benefit of acting much like a compass, in that when laid on a flat surface it rolls towards Poland. If you know where you are in relation to Poland, it can help you find your way if you can’t find the north star. Next season on Man vs. Wild it’s been reported Bear Grylls is going to switch his watch for a single roll of German toilet paper.</p>
<p>I think I’m in love with this thread.</p>
<p>Dont bash WashU (even tho people think they manipulate their toilet paper) they have really rose in rankings the last 5 yrs…ugh</p>
<p>This thread reminds me of a joke my grandpa told me (he went to Harvard). I suppose the roles of the two schools could be reversed.</p>
<p>Two guys walk into a bathroom, one from Harvard and the other Yale. They’re both standing at the urinals. The Harvard guy finishes first, flushes the toilet and starts to leave the room. The Yale guy quickly stops him and says, “Hey, aren’t you going to wash your hands?”</p>
<p>To which the Harvard guy responds, “At Harvard we don’t pee on our hands.”</p>
<p>what? lavaplatos, i heard that exact same joke (from my yale uncle) except reversed…it was like, “at harvard, we’re taught to wash our hands,” vs “at yale, we don’t pee on our hands in the first place.”</p>
<p>You guys… your totally missing the point here. It’s absolutely ludicrous to choose a school over the quality of the toilet paper! You must be joking. Everybody knows it’s the toilet paper retention rate that matters! In an ever more eco-friendly society, we need to be able to continually re-use each sheet. Hats off to Cornelians. They are real men who use their hands, circumventing the whole need for toilet paper.</p>