<p>A hypothetical situation that some parents have dealt with in the past… but just place yourselves in that position. Simply put, imagine in your son’s/daughter’s first year a college, that first chance they can be away from you, they come out. How would you react?</p>
<p>I would hug my child and tell him or her that I love him/her unconditionally.</p>
<p>I’d be just fine with it. Who cares? I’d hope they would feel free be themselves with me and to be open and honest. I genuinely wouldn’t care, except as to making sure they were all right with it or if they needed suport or whatever…the same as with a straight kid.</p>
<p>I’m with VeryHappy …</p>
<p>I would do the same as veryhappy.</p>
<p>I have a lot of gay friends and relatives, and my husband also has a lot of gay relatives. so the possibility of having kids who are gay is something we discussed when I was pregnant. </p>
<p>To my knowledge, neither of our sons is gay, but if one came out to me, I would hug him and tell him I love him. I would be grateful that my son felt comfortable enough with me to be honest with me about his sexual orientation.</p>
<p>The only thing that would concern me – and this would be, unfortunately a big concern – would be the hate and possible violence that my son might be the target of due to some ignorant people’s homophobia.</p>
<p>Our son came out to us a few years ago when he was a Sophomore in high school. He knows that sexual orientation is not a concern of ours, behaving in a mature and responsible way when it comes to ones sexuality is our concern. </p>
<p>So, we hugged him and reassured him we loved him and that was that. </p>
<p>It would be wonderful if that were the whole story but, of course, there is the rest of the world to deal with and that has not always been as smooth a path. We’ve advocated for him at every turn and down what we could to make the journey a good one. </p>
<p>I would have been disappointed in myself if he had waited until college as that would mean we had not conveyed to him that our love is unconditional. I’m thankful he trusted us, I try to be worthy of that.</p>
<p>I would support them fully, and if I needed help with the mental adjustment that it’s not what I expected or thought, I might go to PFLAG or counseling to help me process it all.</p>
<p>Pizzagirl, Good call. PFLAG is a wonderful resource. There are also a lot of books out there now.</p>
<p>No biggie here, though if ds had known earlier I would have been a little hurt he didn’t say something until he was in college.</p>
<p>Another vote for Veryhappy’s rsponse.</p>
<p>Yet another vote for VeryHappy’s response.</p>
<p>Speaking of PFLAG - I was driving today and was behind a van that had “PFLAG1” as its license plate, and various bumper stickers basically in support of equal marriage rights and so forth. I honked at the car and when the driver looked back, I gave her a thumbs up (signifying that I agreed with her points of view). There were about 5 people in the car and they all rolled down the windows and gave me the thumbs-up signal! I wonder if they thought I was gay - I’m not, but I supported everything on the back of their minivan.</p>
<p>If anyone reading this thread is concerned about an offspring or other relative who is gay, the organization PFLAG – Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays-- can be very helpful: [PFLAG:</a> Parents, Families, & Friends of Lesbians and Gays](<a href=“http://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?pid=194&srcid=-2]PFLAG:”>http://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?pid=194&srcid=-2)</p>
<p>Finding out that a beloved child or relative is gay is something that is very hard for some people to adjust to, and PFLAG can offer you support and information.</p>
<p>Same. Would want to know if there were a special someone and if I could meet him/her (I have children of both genders.) </p>
<p>Named DS after my gay best friend. DS is a musician like dear friend. Friend said, “he’s a musician like I am; what if he’s gay like I am?” I said, “I hope he can be as happy as you are then.” Dear friend has had boyfriend for many, many years.</p>
<p>Great scene in The Family Stone when Diane Keaton’s character says she wanted all her boys to be gay so they would never leave her, and Sarah Jessica Parker’s character is appalled. Diane Keaton is not being literal, just extended love to her gay son and ribbing her straight sons a bit.</p>
<p>agree with all of you ~ unconditional acceptance and love</p>
<p>pugmadkate~ your post was really touching…</p>
<p>mythmom and pugmadkate, your stories are so sweet and moving. :)</p>
<p>I hope my response would be something like “Duh!”</p>
<p>I like to think that I know my kids well enough so that I would not be surprised by the announcement. </p>
<p>But I’ve been known to be wrong. (Frequently, as my kids would tell you.) So perhaps it would be a surprise. But not a horrifying one. The only thing that would horrify me is if my kid was afraid to come out to me. I would hate to be kept in the dark about something so central to his/her identity. </p>
<p>Like some others on this thread, I would be concerned about my child being the target of prejudice. I would also be hoping that my child would find a steady partner and that both of them would have an interest in adoption. I want to be a grandmother; I don’t particularly care about the mechanism.</p>
<p>I can’t imagine feeling any differently about either child than I do today. I love them to bits. I might wonder what took so long, as I think they know that I would be fine with it and that I love my gay friends.</p>
<p>Seriously, you guys would all just hug your child?</p>
<p>I would have a million questions: When and how did you find out you were gay? Do you have a girlfriend? What about those boys you used to date? How do you know you aren’t bisexual? And (assuming she chooses the college she’s leaning towards) I’d tell her I’m so happy for her she chose to attend the “gay ivy”.</p>
<p>concur with very happy, mythmom, pizzagirl et al> Would also thank her/him for trusting me and tell them how proud I am that they took such a potentially scary step</p>