<p>During the holidays we had a reception at our home for our newlywed daughter and husband. So many pretty young women, all 23, and none of them engaged, married or even seriously involved! And none of 24 yr old son’s friends are married either! Are you finding this pattern also with your 20 something children and their friends? I hope not!</p>
<p>Hold on a minute…</p>
<p>I am in my 50s and was married about 25 years ago at age 26. I was one of the 1st in my group to get married. I would say the majority were married at ages between 27 and 30.</p>
<p>Don’t worry about it. I would hardly say the younger generation is getting married later because they aren’t married at 23 or 24!</p>
<p>Remember, many of them are adding graduate/professional school to their college degrees. Who has time to worry about getting married? And as for children…</p>
<p>BHG-
I was a few weeks past my 31st birthday when I married. Had my Ph.D. and was well established in my career before I married. Couldn’t have imagined doing it differently. </p>
<p>There was a thread a few weeks back about whether you met your spouse in college, grad, med, law school, etc. Many did, but a lot didn’t, and the common theme seemed to be that most of us on this board, even those who married younger, waited 'til we were a bit older to start families. Regardless of when we married, many of us on cc were products of the 70’s. So, in my book, your 23 and 24 yr olds are on the young side. Of course congrats to you and to them. As for me-- I’m in no rush to be called “grandma!” :)</p>
<p>I have several friends who didn’t have kids till their late 30’s/early 40’s.</p>
<p>I did have my first when I was 24, but I wish I had waited both to get married and to have kids. I see no harm in waiting till kids know what they want from a relationship and I do see harm in marrying as I did because it was 'expected"</p>
<p>Congratulations to your family,but remember young people today have lots of choices and tieing yourself down as part of a couple, may limit them.
My daughter is 22 and she is too busy with her friends/work/school to want to spend the time and energy that it takes to nurture a serious relationship.
Of course she is off to Portland again, so she may have something going I don’t know about :)</p>
<p>My H and I were talking about this with our daughter just a few days ago. Both of us got married at 20—and divorced by 23. He was 25 when we got married, and I was 28. My D was born just a few days after I turned 30. At the time I felt very old to be having my first, but since then I’ve have numerous friends have their first in their 40s, including my roommate, who had her first at age 42 and her second at 44. (And an old college boyfriend had his first at 49–men can wait even longer!)</p>
<p>In the last year or two, we attended first marriages for several children-of-friends who are in their early 30s.</p>
<p>If you read the census bureau statistics (I actually enjoy that kind of thing) (<a href=“http://www.census.gov/population/www/socdemo/marr-div/p70-97-tab01.html[/url]”>http://www.census.gov/population/www/socdemo/marr-div/p70-97-tab01.html</a>),
you’ll see that age of first marriage can be quite late. In 1996, 10% of (white non-Hispanic) men in their 40s had never married; in 2001, 12%. (The overview page, which contains links for surveys in 1975, 1996, and 2001, can be found at <a href=“http://www.census.gov/population/www/socdemo/marr-div.html[/url]”>http://www.census.gov/population/www/socdemo/marr-div.html</a> )</p>
<p>I was 30 with my first child. About in the middle of the crowd for my peers. But many who married early were on their second marriages by the time they were in their mid 30’s it seems. I really feel my D is way too young marrying at age 21. My niece who is 26 and is also getting married this summer, seems to be timing it much more sensibly. She was always a mature young lady, but there is still a big difference from when she was 21 to now. I worry, and just hope things work out. </p>
<p>Congrats, BHG to your daughter and to you!</p>
<p>yes that is very true. First they want to be secure with their lives. To many colleges are not about finding a mate. A while ago I had read an article that the trends in colleges is to have ‘friends with benefits’ - not emotional attachements, just the sexual need satisfying relationships.</p>
<p>Simba, I read a similar article, but, sadly, it was featured as a trend in highschool.</p>
<p>Wow,all these comments quite interesting! I especially like the census data. We seem to have a mature audience in the parents forum! Ah…but what ever happened to young romance, Cathy and Heathcliff at Wuthering Heights!</p>
<p>H & I were married at age 25…also the first in our cohort of friends! Then we had to get our act together…he worked full-time while going to grad school. As a group, we were having a grand time BC (before children)…and, we were the first to take the plunge…D was born when I was 34! How time flies… ;)</p>
<p>Too many young romances failed and I think most educated parents discourage early marriage. My generation has seen the ugly divorces and strained blended families close up. I’m 25 and only one of my friends has married. Frankly, we were all horrified and believe she is limiting herself having followed him to a grad school in a place that doesn’t offer her much. My friends are mostly concerned with career and grad school now. Many of us have steady relationships. I’ve had the same boyfriend since college. We’re both applying to business school with Yale being my best fit and Stanford his. If we’re meant to last through this we will, but I would never dream that either of us should compromise on our best opportunities to marry at this age.</p>
<p>A lot of the later marriages has to do with the new “twixster” generation stage. 20 - 30 years is seen, more and more, as a stage of adultescence: after the teen years, but before becoming a fully committed adult with family, job, marrriage etc.</p>
<p>I agree early marriage is not generally a good idea. I was 28. Average for my group of friends.</p>
<p>The one bummer is that a woman is physiologically designed to bear children in her late teens or early 20’s… </p>
<p>Many of us get away with later marriage & still have our feritlity, but some do not. Current patterns of delaying child bearing (& frequently spending a decade or two on the pill) are not how our human organism is designed to be healthiest.</p>
<p>In a state of nature we’d be pregnant and breastfeeding (any therefore not ovulating) for the majority of our fertile years. That’s a lot less hormonal exposure than we get nowadays.</p>
<p>There is a book called “Sex Lies & Menopause” that delves into this topic, author believes that these lifestyle changes account for a lot of cancer & disease; very interesting read. It is important to consider these tradeoffs & their longer term effects, though in balance I still wouldn’t rush my D into marriage & kids.</p>
<p>Average age at first marriage has been trending upwards in the U.S. for some time (see U.S. Statistical Abstract). I don’t see it as a bad thing at all. One effect is slowing the rate of population growth (independently of the fertility rate as such) because the mean time between “generations” increases.</p>
<p>BTW/ we have good friends who have kids born 11 months apart; so you CAN get pregnant while still breastfeeding (though for a variety of reasons there tends to be a natural spacing between children, even without the use of birth control).</p>
<p>LOL,</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>like no opportunity / inclination perhaps? ;)</p>
<p>Could be that certainly for at least part of the time. I don’t want to get too salacious here, but let’s say that as a guy I didn’t want to be competing with the kids for certain parts of the body.</p>
<p>Not to mention that as soon as anyone looks at the breasts the baby starts crying. 
How can they tell?</p>
<p>Yeah, those babies are pretty territorial!</p>
<p>Mackinaw: you made me laugh. I remember when I had my son 14 months after my daughter and people asked why I’d <em>chosen</em> to have them so close together… my only reply was “breast feeding is not a reliable method of birth control.”</p>
<p>" Younger Generation Marrying Later, Having Children Later "… hence, the creation, of the teacup puppies. theyre like children now! they wear little outfits and sleep in beds, all the young trendy set in nyc (and im sure many other places) have them before kids. i cant count how many times ive been knocked aside on park avenue by some twenty something with a doggy in an lv carryall…</p>