<p>So. Everyone’s Eli account should have an extension that looks something like this: </p>
<p>Mal.Smith.2</p>
<h2>After calling up the Yale Admissions office they gave me the following stereotypical information.</h2>
<p>Your number extension designates which admissions committee will review your essay. Some number extensions are more desireable, whereas others are not.</p>
<p>.2
This extension means your application set off a few green flags. You were determined to have multiple “hooks”. After they ran their background checks on your name… they came up with high income. The dean’s magic eight ball determined you might be a future limelight politician and are the quintessential Yale type.</p>
<p>Sent to: Executive committee. They verify your info is correct, and you get some high ranking officials to review your app.
Chances: 60-80%</p>
<p>.5
You have a single hook. Your application if favorable, but their might be too many of you people. This hook is generally ultra high scores, saving orphans (MUST be more than 12), or curing lung, breast, or colon cancer. Other cancer’s do not count.</p>
<p>Sent to: General committee. You get the average treatment.
Chances: 20-40%</p>
<p>.7
You have no major hooks, or your application just sucked. You are probably just another average white kid, with no money. Sorry. There’s too many people applying. Did you REALLY think you were worthy of Emma Watson? hah</p>
<p>Sent to: Secretary’s desk. As soon as she get’s back from break you will receive a rejection stamp.
Chances: 0-1% (It’s very possible your paperwork gets put in the wrong pile. Hope for a very elderly Adcom member, or a really young one.)</p>
<p>7.1
You have no hooks, but you checked no financial aid! Need-blind is actually pretty literal. They need blinds so no one can peer in the window and see what really goes on!
Sent to: Accounting. Usually the bookkeeper needs to see if you will be worth more than it costs them to deal with you.
Chances: 30-50% </p>
<p>.9
Asian with robot scores. Where do you think Yale’s admissions statistics come from? For every 2400 korean, Yale can admit 2 1800 hispanics or URM’s- while meeting their quotas AND keeping SAT averages sky high! Hooray.
Sent to- the Asian committee
Chances: 10% Sorry… there’s a lot of high scoring asians :*(</p>
<p>.4
You were an asian without perfect objective scores, and were deemed obsolete by the Asian evaluation committee. What exactly are you contributing to the school? Money we hope. Diversity? We’ll mail you a lolcat with your rejection. Personality? Quota’s don’t care.
Sent to- The rejection pile
Chances: .001% You could be a recruited athlete who accidentally got put in with normal applications. </p>
<p>.3
You made the BIGGEST mistake on the entire app. You didn’t report your race. These applications are sent to the YBI. The Yale Bureau of Investigation. They search your records till they find your race and then send it off to the corresponding admissions committee. If they can’t find it… you get put with the asian pile. Who else wouldn’t report their race in fear of being rejected due to our quotas?
Sent to: YBI
Chances: Slim to none. You annoy us, and are not sneaky enough.</p>
<p>.urm
URM’s who get sent to the special adcom who is really nice. Usually this will be one of our graduate students. Your SAT scores, and transcripts are not evaluated. Instead the documents are looked at in this order of priority:</p>
<p>Alumni Interview
Essays
Recommendation
Financial Aid</p>
<p>sent to: graduate admissions
chances: 67%</p>
<hr>
<p>hope it wasn’t offending ;p
I had fun.</p>