<p>“If Princeton said tomorrow, we want 50% of the student body to come from families making under $50,000, the school’s appeal would change.”</p>
<p>Correct. A school like HYPS doesn’t want just anyone wearing it’s brand.</p>
<p>MotherofTwo – I didn’t clarify that once we signed up as full pay parents, that meant travel had to cost next to nothing. We are 100 miles away from Dartmouth, and they have great bus service to the Boston area. Travel became a more important feature of the decision, since S would not have a car. We had always told him that if he didn’t get merit aid, the school could not require air travel. Columbia is also within driving/bus distance.</p>
<p>kirmum~</p>
<p>Not sure I’d agree with that statement even as you clarify it. CC is hardly a representative sample! ;)</p>
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<p>Bravo berurah! I’m just amazed at those who don’t accept that what is best for their children and circumstances is not a one size fits all proposition. </p>
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<p>You hit the nail squarely on the head.</p>
<p>Thanks, corona~</p>
<p>That’s basically what I said in my post…that outside of ONE SPECIFIC kid’s circumstances, this discussion is essentially useless.</p>
<p>Miami versus Tulsa?</p>
<p>New Orleans–even post-Katrina–versus <em>cough</em> Fort Worth?</p>
<p>Are you kidding me, curvolicious? No contest. I’d take Miami (which is a South American island off the coast of Cuba as far as I am concerned) or New Orleans (which has always been a Third World Country off the coast of Mississippi and is even more so now).</p>
<p>Tulsa? :eek:</p>
<p>Fort Worth? For a college ‘experience’? For me or the hellcats that are related to me? Never. Never and Never.</p>
<p>Ah but mini, 
what you may not understand is that while your alma mater is considered elite, your older D is attending a school a circle or two down. Or so I’m learning. For some the elite bar is waaaay the heck up there.</p>
<p>sjmom - Thanks for the clarification. It makes a lot more sense now.</p>
<p>Hey, I get to secretly bask in the purple W’s all around here, and no one ever knows what the heck I’m talkin’ about.</p>
<p>I have a friend who is a Harvard professor who reminds me, “There is more than one kind of diversity.” While the elites work hard to be diverse in terms of race, large publics are more diverse in terms of class and one can make the case that class is in many ways more crucial for defining one’s experience.</p>
<p>If you want your child to understand the range of experiences in our country, he or she probably will have greater exposure at a public university.</p>
<p>Exactly berurah, while interesting at parts, it’s become useless defense of one’s personal decision.</p>
<p>Not on this thread, but on another CC thread, one adult wrote to another: “thank you for agreeing with me.” That says it all.</p>
<p>curmudgeon, Not so fast! I THOUGHT that TCU was probably Texas Christian. Just wasn’t sure. Around here, MSU is Montclair State University. So those acronyms can be tricky. (Maybe NJ Catholics would be considered URMs at TCU & my kids could score a few bucks.)</p>
<p>I couldn’t answer anyway. First, I don’t know enough about either Tulane or TCU to form an opinion. Just a vague “they’re good schools” impression is all I have right now. Second, because , well…just read Berurah’s fantastic post. The answer is specific to one kid and his or her specific circumstances. </p>
<p>In general, you’d have a hard time convincing me that any school is worth $30 or $40Gs more per year than another school from the same category. It would have to be a very special case, like Duke for Berurah’s son. Or Notre Dame for mine.</p>
<p>cheers, for the sake of the discussion, would it be possible to look at it from a perspective that does NOT include the city where the school is located? I know that is a prime consideration of yours. Or Maybe for you I’ll find a school in Boston , wait two schools in Boston. BostonU/Northeastern U with big merit. There’s one just for you. Please don’t just compare neighborhoods. Assume they have a free bus pass. </p>
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And some of the posters who think they see both sides are trying their hardest to get the personal choices (or at least the defensiveness over those choices) we all made out of the equation so that something may come of this that others may find valuable. I’d hate to think this was all for naught. I still like the list.</p>
<p>jmmom: Excellent posts, all.</p>
<p>I’d just like to add that I have the sense that at least one poster (maybe more) thinks that some of us are out here totally clueless–that we’re working in a vacuum and have no idea what’s what, or what we might be missing. Some of us are also quite possibly “anti-prestige” and “anti-wealth.” </p>
<p>I’d just like to add that in our own case, our daughter grew up in a house where at least one parent has been an academic for 30+ years, many of those spent at an Ivy (oops-- HYPS) as a full tenured professor, doing research, and teaching both undergraduates and graduate students. We’ve spent some number of years, over the years, on sabbaticals and have visited various schools in this country and abroad. So we are certainly aware of what’s out there, and in no way are we either “anti-prestige” or “anti-wealth.” (In fact, we consider the school she ultimately chose both a prestigious and well-respected one, and I don’t think that’s just our opinion!) Would it be moreso if the price of admission was more?</p>
<p>Well, I forgot what my original point was. Oh yes, I think it’s just to say that we’re not all clueless out here. For her, having one parent with that first-hand experience of teaching at an Ivy for so many years, as well as the experience of having taught at a fine public university–the options, choices, and decisions made by our daughter were simply not that angst-ridden nor that difficult-- for her or for us. </p>
<p>After reading Berurah’s post here, I would also like to add that my daughter also takes classes at Duke. I asked her recently if she felt there was a huge difference between her classes at UNC-CH and those she takes at Duke. She said no, that she loved her classes at both places; both schools, she feels, have outstanding faculty, and the classes are interesting (mainly because, well, they’re in fields in which she’s interested). Her classes at Duke, overall, are smaller, but that does not mean there is more intellectual discussion or stimulating ideas being thrown about. (I asked.) And, for her, these classes are no more challenging nor difficult than the classes she takes at UNC-CH. That’s just from her perspective, but I suspect other kids who take classes at both places would probably tell you the same thing.</p>
<p>This is a really really REALLY long thread.</p>
<p>Good job Curm!!</p>
<p>So, DD#2 (#3 out of 5) applied to a bunch of schools 2 years ago, in-state, OOS, private, Ivy…the whole range. Gets into most and we wait for the FA package, because we too are a family where how much money we have to pay is a non-issue. </p>
<p>We don’t have any. So an EFC of zero is not such a great thing. Scary. But she is the third one going through this so she knows the score.</p>
<p>Fast forward, time to decide. She is in with all need met at Ivy (Penn), great merit at Tulane, so-so at Catholic U, Univ. of Cinn, U of Tenn, Wellesley and U of NM (full-ride academic merit). So she makes her list, takes into consideration her major (classics switch from arc) her goals (pre-med), her sport, distance, weather and culture. Money figured in INITIALLY if there wasn’t a bunch, then that school was off the list.</p>
<p>So Curm there is your Penn/Tulane/Catholic U/UNM.
And money being equal.</p>
<p>She picked the best fit for her. And went with UNM. She is a sophomore on Dean’s list, loves her very small major, her internship in clinical at the university hospital, is a D1 athlete not needing D1 $$$ and had survived through physics, chem and O-chem with As. She was able to visit the Zuni dances on a special invite from her new set of friends and has a new “jobbie” painting in the art department.</p>
<p>But her “fav”, she has the best fresh mex every SINGLE day.</p>
<p>Her little brother last year also had an “interesting” set of schools to pick from, with the same EFC but different interests. He made his decision last year on April 30th. It was that hard for him. He thought MIT/CalTech/Penn’s M&T were his academic math/science “fits”, the military academies were his personality/career goal “fits”, Univ of Chicago his humanties and math “fits” and UNC-CH/Duke his med school acclereated fits.</p>
<p>He went with Princeton. For all of the above reasons and most important to him, he can play ball there. He was too small for some of the other schools on his list!!! And he wasn’t locked into a major yet. As Alumother has pointed out. This was a school he could explore much. He didn’t care if it was an elite. He wanted some where he could contribute ALL of himself. Math, science, leadership, history, economics, sports and strong sense of community service in the surrounding communities locally and worldwide.</p>
<p>And Princeton would provide him with the means to do it. All of it.</p>
<p>So one child picked lower-tier school with money turning down Ivy with MORE money and son picked Ivy over a military academy that broke his heart to say no to. He still claims it was one of the hardest things he has ever had to do. It did cast a shadow over his excitement about his choice. But that was what it was supposed to do. Challenge his character, build his strength, help him to determine what he wants and how he wants to do it.</p>
<p>I do like your list Curm.</p>
<p>Although the ability to play one’s beloved sport is missing from your list.</p>
<p>DD was recruited for hers at all, and she had a hard choice between programs. It was between Tulane & UNM, she picked UNM right before Katrina. Post Katrina they eliminated her sport. She loves reminding of that choice.</p>
<p>Kat</p>
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But the point is they are not from the same category. One is @50 positions higher than the other with weaker stats . As significant as Cornell/Trinity U in San Antonio for an English major. Unless that is a very deep and wide “good school” category that everything below elite schools fall into , and that is the mine I’m trying to dig in. If anybody will bite, that is. LOL.</p>
<p>(In response to Kat): Ahh, but the grass is always greener…</p>
<p>I think an EFC of zero sounds like heaven. ;)</p>
<p>It’ll be interesting to see how many really solid, undefensive points of view are left standing here when all the strawmen of “people are saying this” and “someone five hundre posts ago said that” finally blow away.</p>
<p>For me, this has been a fascinating study of character, but I really haven’t learned much about colleges at all.</p>
<p>kat, why does an EFC of 0 not work at full need schools? It did back in the day, have things changed?</p>
<p>But, Omigod, an EFC of 0 sounds like heaven?</p>
<p>Oh, sokkermom, anyone can get that EFC if that’s their aim!!! Please don’t tell me you’re serious.</p>