<p>As I reminded my son when he started a new relationship- always wear a raincoat! We had plenty of sex talks when he was young, but I just wanted to remind him without saying much. He got the message loud and clear and even chuckled ;)</p>
<p>BB, Hmm… I don’t know. I only knew the statistic off the top of my head because I just submitted a paper about maternal health in the US. Even more alarming? That number was in the 70s in the 90s. We’re going backwards.</p>
<p>Yup, Romani, it is pretty alarming. And even more alarming is the fact that HIV nfections are on the rise among the younger population.</p>
<p>Especially among young African American women who live in urban areas… many of whom do not learn about sex ed at home, may or may not learn it at school, and often have limited access to computers. </p>
<p>It’s why basic sex ed is now part of the advocacy program where I work (urban, low income area). Nothing surprises me anymore. I’ve met more women than I can count who were convinced that you had to go to doctors to buy condoms. </p>
<p>That’s why it’s not really a “common sense” issue. </p>
<p>Sorry to derail.</p>
<p>I think that they don’t know ‘the facts’ because they don’t want to know. Let’s face it, if someone wants to know about something, they will find the info they need. Almost everyone has access to the internet and sex info is very readily available - if you are willing to do just a bit of research. If you can’t be bothered to do that, then you are clearly not ready for sex.</p>
<p>No love without the glove. :)</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>But that doesn’t mean they won’t have sex. Also, like Romani said, many people are just plain misinformed. If someone tells you that you need to go to the doctor to get condoms, you might believe it without doing further research. It sounds preposterous to us because we know how easy they are to attain, but if you don’t, it might sound logical.</p>
<p>beachlover, I may be reading things between the lines that aren’t really there, but it sounds to me like you’ve been having what my parents’ generation called “one night stands” and my generation called “casual sex” and a younger generation called “hookups” and heaven only knows what your generation calls it.</p>
<p>And it sounds as though you are not entirely happy with this situation and would prefer to have a real relationship. But opportunities to do that have not presented themselves.</p>
<p>If that’s the case, you might want to start a thread about it. You might get some interesting suggestions for ways to seek out potential relationships. They’re not necessarily the same strategies that one uses to seek out brief encounters.</p>
<p>for me - it would depend if they were spiritual or not - If they are a Christian they should know to wait until they are married - even though hardly anyone does</p>
<p>Finally! Thank you, Tony. I agree. I’m not stupid. I know it’s “natural”. But I believe we are called to show extreme restraint, and I believe that sex is sacred. I won’t get into too much personal information, but in this situation, I would not be shocked, but I would be fairly sad about the situation. Nothing in the relationship would change…kind of like if you found out your child was making any other choice that you consider “unwise”. Ya just love them and move on. It’s not really my business anyway.</p>
<p>OP…
What reaction did you expect to receive? What reaction are you receiving? And how do you feel about it?</p>
<p>I will agree that emotional connection is necessary for a successful physical relationship.
Without it, having sex is masturbation but using someone’s body to do so.</p>
<p>Both my children were friends with their sig others before they became physically involved, a process that is more common than it was 36 years ago when I met their dad. 
I believe we waited two/three days before we had sex.
However it wasn’t something we did because we were bored, or under the influence, but because the attraction is/was so overwhelming,
It’s good to get to know someone first though, hormones can cloud your thinking, and even when the physical understanding is there, you are communicating with someone who is going to react differently than you expect at some point.</p>
<p>I’d expect that. I’d just caution my child to be careful, not cause any pregnancy before marriage. :p</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Scandalous, ek :p</p>
<p>It was the 70’s. ^^^
However, we still are together 36 yrs & 4 months later, so I think our instincts were good. :)</p>
<p>I would be thrilled that mykid waited that long. I think it is common enough that I would expect it with a long term relationship.</p>
<p>I told my boys that I am not opposed to pre-marital sex but I am opposed to teenagers having sex. I guess that puts my number at 20</p>
<p>Ya’ll seem like such cool parents.</p>
<p>^ Seriously. My uber-religious parents would freak.</p>
<p>Mine aren’t super duper religious but very much so, and I’m sure they’d freak.</p>
<p>If you are over 18, it’s none of your parents business. You are an adult, you make your own decisions. I respect everyone’s decision if it is made thoughtfully and deliberately. Seriously, if any of my kids waited until they were 18, I’d be thrilled. I don’t think they did - but I really don’t need details.</p>