I spent a few summers in 2 different small, everyone knows everyone (and everyone’s business) towns. Not appealing to me at all.
Different strokes and all that.
I just ate breakfast in a small town yesterday, and an anonymous diner paid for my breakfast. Though I thought that was very nice, basically, I was kind of creeped out. Did they think I was a bag lady, with my dog hair covered jacket? Did I look lonely dining by myself (I actually love dining alone and not having to talk). My husband thinks it must have been a man who paid for it, but I doubt it.
When I told the spa owner, who I had been in town to see—she said that people do that in her small town all the time. Not because they feel sorry for them or are trying to hit on them, but because people are just nice and like to do kind things.
I don’t know, I like nice, but it would take awhile of living in a small town before I’d feel comfortable with that.
The people at Publix recognize me and we have fun discussions about what I might be cooking that night based on the random stuff that goes over their scanner 
Sometimes I’ll throw crazy food in there just to keep them guessing.
The car repair place knows me by name when I pull up (that’s what you get for having a 2008 car with 103k miles on it as the kids’ car-it needs tlc more).
I think this is a southern thing, btw. When I had friends down and we were going through the Publix checkout line they about fell over when the checkout lady started talking to us. They were like, you TALK to them? How do they KNOW you?!? It was funny.
We know the owner of our favorite local restaurant and he says hello with our names if he’s there when we come in. We’re not big shots-I just make an effort to make a lot of human connections, because I think people enjoy being recognized and remembered-I do it for them, and most of them do it for me. It’s nice.
It also has taught my kids over the years that no matter what socio-economic strata you come from, that you treat people with kindness, and expect kindness in return. A smile is priceless and everyone can do it, no matter how rich or poor you are.
I’m all for being nice to people, but the last time I was in line at a grocery store while the clerk and customer chatted it up for a while, I got really annoyed. People are in the express lane because they are trying to get out of there quickly. It seemed really inconsiderate for these two (who clearly were familiar with each other) to put their personal conversation ahead of business. I had a really sick family member waiting anxiously for the medication I was buying, so this really struck me as inappropriate.
I do admit I live in a large city, not in a small town.
Bah humbug and all that. 
LOL, I had the same experience, Nrdsb4, with the clerk and the customer chatting it up, even after the sale was completed. I was in a hurry. Was meeting someone at my home, and didnt want to be late.
Not only a Southern thing. I live in a very small town (think: regional high school is 25 miles away) and everyone knows everyone except during the tourist weeks Memorial Day-Labor Day. When I walk into the grocery store, at least three people say hi, the first being the woman at the customer service desk. If I stop in for a drink at any number of places in town, they ask how work was and put my favorite cocktail down at a seat before I have my coat off. During the summer months, we know all the bus persons and beach workers because they are our friends’ kids. Personally, I’d prefer something a little more suburbia but until D graduates from college, this is it. Great place to raise kids, not so great for making a living and entertainment venues. I hate having to drive 3 miles to get milk LOL. My next place will be walking distance to many good restaurants, bars and stores. Looking forward to not always jumping in the car to get wherever it is I want to be.
Yeah, I’m all for chatting, while people are doing their business, but if others are waiting–don’t hold them up. Multi task, do your work and talk at the same time. I really noticed that people who work in stores in Italy are very social. They don’t seem to be able to multi task. They will calmly finish their ten minute social conversation with another customer while you are there waiting, having ignored the fact that you even walked in the store and have something in your hand, ready to purchase. But when it’s your turn, they give all attention to you and ignore everybody else. In my world, it seems rude to ignore other customers.
My biggest complaint is when people don’t give you service because they are busy texting or reading something on their smart phone. And you wait twenty minutes for your check. I don’t do that anymore, I walk right up to them and ask for the check (and they are generally a little embarrassed being caught, even though I don’t mention it). If I owned a business, my employees would be warned not to blow off the customers for their smart phone.
I would never want to live in a place where everyone knows me! Although I have to admit that a couple of the FreshDirect deliverymen know my dog and ask after him by name.
I live within the 5 boroughs of NYC, but in an area where local store/supermarket clerks do welcome friendly customers who are willing to do more than make perfunctory greetings. Moreover, the times I do chat up clerks and their supervisor are always during periods of the day when business is slack.
Incidentally, some clerks/owners of such stores in my area and some small towns in the Midwest and certain societies* outside the US tend to regard those making no more than perfunctory greetings to be “rude”, “anti-social”, and even “snobby”.
Seems like that was one of the factors accounting for the poor town-gown relations at my rural Midwest LAC when I attended as the vast majority of students tend to come from well-to-do suburbs near cities in the NE, West Coast, or Chicago where tend to stick to perfunctory greetings at best.
"The people at Publix recognize me and we have fun discussions about what I might be cooking that night based on the random stuff that goes over their scanner "
I hate when a clerk comments on the specific food I’m buying. Even if it’s “oh, I’ve heard that’s good.” Just ring me up quickly and be pleasant. But not fake friendliness.
“Incidentally, some clerks/owners of such stores in my area and some small towns in the Midwest and certain societies* outside the US tend to regard those making no more than perfunctory greetings a la PG to be “rude”, “anti-social”, and even “snobby”.”
Whoop de do. I really couldn’t care less, as I am in the grocery store to obtain groceries, not to socialize. I’m pleasant and I say hello, please, and thank you. If they think I’m antisocial or snobby, so what? Not my problem. If that’s supposed to be a slam, it doesn’t work.
I’m sorry, but that’s just funny. You’re nothing if not entertaining, cobrat.
How do you know it’s really fake?
In some cultures abroad and even some local/regional ones here in the US, clerks making conversation and customers doing more than making perfunctory greetings is not only commonplace, but the minimum expectation of what they’d consider being friendly and well-mannered.
It certainly was among many businesses in the small towns in/around my LAC with some business owners/clerks I’ve chatted with musing about how some of what they felt were the rude standoffish snobby LAC classmates acted in their eyes as illustrated by statements like “What? They feel they’re too damned good to talk/be friendly with us”.
Don’t make the assumption that those chatting with the check-out person are holding up others in line. One of the benefits of small town shopping is that there often isn’t a line or if there is one another register is opened immediately.
^^^Lol, doschicos, fair enough. But if you are the clerk in the express lane in a large chain grocery store in a large city right after everybody’s just gotten off work and are trying to head home, please don’t hold up the line!!! We can all be pleasant and happy, but let’s keep it moving.
I used to live in a medium sized city which was very impersonal but now I live in a small town in the Midwest. I promise, it is not just the south and it takes a while to get used to it.
My D and her boyfriend came to visit and went to Walgreens to buy something. They were astounded that the clerk took out a pile of coupons and found one for him to use! I had coupons at Walgreens this week and it was complicated. I was embarrassed but the clerk was not worried about the people waiting, she was there to help me.
I have relaxed and am not in a hurry anymore. People know you and talk and are very friendly. It’s a way of life. Remember that tv show Northern Exposure, it’s kinda like that. I do live in a bigger place though.
The nice thing is that we feel that businesses are honest and less expensive than when we lived in the city. You can’t rip people off when everyone in town knows everyone else.
@deb922, I’ve had great luck with employees giving me coupons at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. One of them saved me $200 on my D’s dorm stuff! That was in Raleigh, NC.
I actually think it is in the US where the clerk tends to strike some conversation with the customers.
The lines at a grocery store in some other countries tend to move significantly faster there than here.
At one time, I had a business to another country and ate the lunch at a restaurant which is a part of the hotel. There were very few customers at that time. Two waiters had nothing to do so they talked to each other for maybe just a couple of minutes at most. Their supervisor found it and gave them a “lecture” for almost 10 minutes (although I did not understand a single word, I could tell she was scolding these two poor girls who seem to keep apologizing. All workers in such an environment are expected to pay full attention to their work – even when there is no work, they should not just be in the “relax” mode. The culture there is just different.
“It certainly was among many businesses in the small towns in/around my LAC with some business owners/clerks I’ve chatted with musing about how some of what they felt were the rude standoffish snobby LAC classmates acted in their eyes as illustrated by statements like “What? They feel they’re too damned good to talk/be friendly with us”.”
So what? Again, it is of no possible consequence that these store clerks think these people are snobby or standoffish. When I go shopping, etc, the store clerks are there to help me get my merchandise, answer questions, etc. I will always be polite and well-mannered, but I am not there to serve their needs for socialization. That is THEIR problem, cobrat. Tell me one good reason I should care if a store clerk finds me snobby because I’ve just engaged in social pleasantries and nothing more.
Besides, being annoying is far worse than being snobby.