It’s not like I’m never in a hurry but usually the chatty clerks have every code for all the produce memorized and are pretty quick. I’m not saying I have long drawn out conversations, just over the years you get to develop relationships. I also know the fast clerks. It’s completely common here for bb&b employees to give coupons at the cash register.
I also learned that word gets out, bad or good about people and establishments and the day I go out looking rough I am guaranteed to run into someone I don’t want to see me.
I’m an introvert. When I’m running errands I am often in my own head thinking something through or planning something. I like being anonymous and not having to make small talk (beyond common courtesy pleasantries) with clerks. Extroverts just don’t get how draining it is for introverts to engage in all this chatter.
Oh COME ON. Quite frankly, I don’t believe for one minute that a customer who is pleasant, polite, yet perfunctory is viewed as negatively as you are portraying. And I also think it’s complete bunk that any one of us should feel compelled to behave in such as way so that anonymous human beings in other unnamed countries approve of us. That’s taking looking for outside validation to a ridiculous degree. Even if you wanted to please everyone, customs are too different everywhere to do that.
There is a huge difference between being pleasant, polite, and to the point and being “rude,” “snobby” and superior.
@MotherOfDragons, I was totally joking in post #64, when I said I’d be sure to have a sunny basement since neither of my kids is likely to be well off. Like you, I don’t want them bouncing back and living with us either! Fortunately, neither of them want to. My D spends as little time as she possibly can here, not because we don’t have a good relationship, but because she’s itching to graduate and get on with her life, however impecunious she may be.
S, on the other hand, is just a first-year and still a bit homesick, so he comes home for every break. He may take a little longer to let go.
We live in an urban area. DH, the cook and an extrovert, knows all the clerks at the supermarket and a lot about their kids, management, etc. They probably know a lot less about him other than what he plans to cook for dinner. He shops at all hours. At the produce market where we used to shop, a couple of the Chinese clerks gave our DD (now a senior in college!) red envelope money – and we’re not even Chinese. I was and remain quite touched.
At my branch library, I chat with the library assistants when they’re not busy and know the old librarians (no longer there) from when DD was little.
Following her dad’s friendly and extroverted footsteps, DD got to know the cafeteria workers at her LAC, their dreams, and their frustrations.
Oh, and yes, I think this will contribute to her success in the world and add to the richness of her life.
Your DH sounds kind of like mine. But if he went through the line one night with others behind him, smiled, and said “Hi.” “Okay, I think I’ve got exact change.” “Okay, thanks so much,” would he be viewed as not meeting the minimum requirements of civility, seen as rude, or even worse, “snobby”? Especially if this were his first interaction there or he had a more reserved personality?
I personally really doubt it. I think a lot of this is extreme hyperbole.
The librarians all ask about our “kids,” whom they fondly remember from our years of library patronage.
The Costco clerks ask about my mom, uncle, sister and GF. They often see us several times/week. The local supermarket clerks are friendly too, but don’t talk long if there are any waiting in line. The ones I’ve none longer are chattier. None gave our kids anything for graduation–how sweet!
First of all, the extrovert-introvert thing isn’t a binary, it’s a continuum—and that’s even if it’s a real thing.
Second, the same individual can self-identify as introverted or extroverted depending on the situation, their mood, the time of day, the context, and so on.
Third, if the extrovert-introvert divide is actually a thing, then from everything I’ve read it’s true that introverts find social chatter draining. In addition, from everything I’ve read it’s true extroverts find social chatter draining. Conclusion: Lots of people seem to think that finding social chatter draining makes them different, but it doesn’t.
“I’d probably be concerned with how the cat perceives me; everyone else, not so much! I often seek out the approval of cats (blushes).”
You should be blushing, because who cares about the cat! It’s the dogs that I want to impress, the cats are snobby to everyone.
I am pretty chatty to the clerks at my local stores (without delaying people), but that is actually my social contact for much of the day, rather often, so even though I’m an introvert, it’s quick and doesn’t wear me down.
My grandfather did not know what a computer is. My father knew what it is in his later years. (But, to him, it could be just like a strange looking TV which is connected to an ugly looking metal box which seems to be not very reliable because its hard disk could start to make annoying noises after a few years of “use”, even though he just let it sit there without actually using it.) I am sure he would rather not go anywhere near it. I learned computers in my college years (but we learned the computers likely not in the way that the new generation learned it. We learned things more close to the hardware and system software, e.g., learned how the computer works by studying some programs written in several kinds of “hardware description language” as well as studying the original Bell Lab’s Unix source code by reading source code line by line.) My next generation started to use it as a preschooler or kindergartener. I actually think many of them run the risk of wasting too much time on it. (But what would I know? Maybe I am biased.)
