Now I feel bad. This topic never came up for our son’s wedding last year. He walked down alone before the bride was escorted by her grandfather. I wish I had known/thought to ask if we could have walked him down. That would have been meaningful to me. Oh well.
I totally agree that:
Both of my daughters had their dad and me walk them down the aisle at their weddings.
To me it wasn’t as much of “giving her away,” it was more about walking her down her final journey before she starts her own family. In my culture many single kids lived at home until they were married, even though my girls didn’t.
In the 50’s when my parents were married, weddings followed a strict set of rules – but my grandparents decided they wanted to answer “who gives this woman to be married” with “her parents do” . The pastor said only the father could give the bride, my grandfather said it would be both of them or not at all.
Day of the wedding, pastor is MIA and the best man had to go fetch him while MOH talked to the assembled guests. My grandmother maintained to her dying day that the pastor did it out of revenge.
That is awful! What a moment.
While I know it used to be a “thing” - “giving away the bride” - with neither of my kids did I feel like this was our purpose in walking down the aisle with them. It was more about a family event and family supporting family for an important moment. I like to think we continue to “walk” with them through life but lucky for them (and us!) they have a new primary person they walk with daily through life.
My daughter married this year at 35. She has been on her own for years, dated her husband for years, lived with him for a few years, they have a dog together…I mean, there is no “giving away” to be done! 
Maybe some of those traditions also were established when marriages happened a lot younger. Women marrying soon after schooling or the marriage being the first step outside the parent home to live elsewhere so it seemed more like a handing over transition???
Ooh, I love that custom!
My parents loved to tell the story, they thought it was hilarious. I cannot think of a single wedding in the past 20 years where a bride was “given away”. Sometimes “presented” but even that is rare. My dad walked me down the aisle and then just sat down. I think brides walking themselves is also becoming refreshingly common!
The veiling of the bride by the groom in Jewish weddings is a custom based on the biblical Jacob, whose FIL Laban tricked him into marrying a veiled Leah after serving seven years of service to earn Rachel. He had to serve another seven years before he could marry his preferred sister. So now the groom gets to make sure he’s got the right bride before the ceremony!
In my case, we did a ceremonial veiling in the Rabbi’s study after signing the Ketubah.
D2’s wedding-H and I walked her down after SIL had his parents walk him down.
At my daughter’s simple wedding, she said she wanted to walk in alone. When I explained that her Dad was really sad about it, she said that if it was important to him… fine by her. Later she commented it that she had been REALLY nervous, ever so thankful to have his steady arm.
My DIL had her brother walk down aisle with her and her entire family said they all gave her to S at altar. That was what bride and her family wanted and we all were happy with whatever she and S wanted.
S and DIL planned the wedding they wanted and we were happy to help as they desired. The officiant was a long time friend of the family who has known S since he was born. It was lovely.
Very recently widowed MOG - groom walked her down the aisle and her sister and brother sat with her. Parents of the bride walked her down the aisle. Bride’s two sisters were attendants and groom’s only sibling/sister was an attendant.
Wedding was at an outdoor themed place - weather cooperated. There was a golf cart to transport older relatives to and from this pine tree shaded spot which had wooden bench seats/permanent outdoor seating. We were comfortable - but the hot weather had passed through the day before as did the rain. I brought extra flat shoes that could take the dirt if the trail to the wedding spot was messy, but it was dry and my shoes were fine (most of the trail was cut through the grass but there were dirt spots on the path).
One had to drive on gravel roads to get to the venue - had a large parking area once you arrived. Google on the phone was truly needed. Ceremony was short (under 1/2 hour).
Venue for reception was a building with sit down all set up; open bar continually throughout the evening with a line to the bar counter. Covered areas outside of the dinner area which had glass sliding doors for in climate weather - seating areas for the time before dinner. Separate counter with lemonade and ice water. Outdoor bean toss game and tree swing. Trailer set away with upscale port-a-potty situation, with vanity and running water. Food was good - had meat balls and fresh fruit/berries - excellent before dinner; dinner was very good stone pizza and spinach/cheese salad. Wedding cake and cupcakes and more available fresh fruit/berries.
The bride had narrowed down from 6 venues to 3 venues on the couple’s/her search. This was her/their choice. Her OOS parents saw it about 6 weeks before the wedding – but they are very close and were all in on her wedding plans.
I attended a lovely outdoor wedding yesterday. Pretty short ceremony, which was fine because it was HOT in the sun. (There were nice tarps that kept us shaded later at the tables). It was my first bilingual ceremony… very nicely done.
For all of my kids both husband and I walked them down the aisle. All outdoor settings so no issues with three fitting down the aisle. One issue one of my kids ended up with was the role of the stepparents. My son-in-law walked down the aisle with his mom and dad. They had been divorced since he was 2. His stepmom was insulted.
I think it depends on the circumstances. If the stepmom has played a big role I. Raising him then she should be acknowledged some how, but not to be expected to walk the aisle if the mom had played a big part of the groom’s life.
My kids dad’s wife played no part in raising them (they met after my kids were adults), so she was just a plus one at the wedding. She was not invited to any events kids dad was not invited to.
One thing that S & DIL loved about venue was it was outdoors but had a backup ballroom in case of inclement weather. The venue had a lot of history and great nearby parking and a low weekend rate. DIL’s dad had died many years before I met her so that’s why she wanted her only brother to escort her down the aisle.
I have told my younger daughter that even an outdoor venue with a “ good back up” is a no go. It was incredibly stressful to monitor the weather for my older daughters . Would it rain? 40 percent chance, meant couldn’t say for sure and day was spent with our eyes constantly on the weather apps. When to make “the call” about outside or not? Some can stomach that sort of thing. More power to them. . Not me ever again!
As a step-mom myself, I would expect that my step-child would be walked down the aisle by her bio-parents, and neither her step-dad or I would/should be involved (unless she wanted something that involved all of us, in which case I would be fine with it).
When my son was married, my husband/his step-dad and I walked with him. His dad is not involved in his life, and son asked us both to (the day of wedding).
We had as actually attended a wedding at that venue a few years ago. Wedding and reception started outdoors and then it started raining so we all grabbed our things and decorations and continued the party in the ballroom.
My son-in-law was raised by his mom. The stepparent married his dad when he was young but his dad didn’t fight to spend time with his kids. The dad and stepmom moved cross country a few months before their grandchild was born and have made no effort to come visit.
My mom married my stepdad when I was 10. He helped raise me and I had both my dad and stepdad walk me down the aisle.
DD2 who we expect will get married at some point, may indeed choose an outdoor ceremony – but that will all be on her. We hope she returns to our faith, and if so, it will be a church wedding.