2016 and beyond wedding moms and dads (Part 2)

It doesn’t look that flattering here, but it looks better on! It’s hot pink with a gold brocade trim, and the jacket has 3/4 sleeves. The dress is sleeveless and falls just below the knee.

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That is beautiful @college_query ! Thanks for posting!

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Oh it’s gorgeous!!! Super classy but not boring! well done!

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Lovely! Spend what you want on the hat (and luggage fee if needed) because you got a terrific deal on the dress!

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Royal looking set! :slight_smile: Add some nice shoes and a hat, and you are all set for a UK church wedding IMO.

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My D’s wedding reception is going to be in a space that has a limit on the number of occupants. D and future SIL decided not to invite children. They will be sending invitations next month. D’s cousin’s (children of H’s older sister) knew about the wedding and emailed her to ask if their children (who are college/post college students) would be invited. D has spent holidays and vacations with this group of cousins said yes, but they couldn’t have a “plus one”.

A few days later, H’s younger sister texted and asked D for the exact dates of the wedding because she had to arrange for time off work; she’s a nurse who works for a pediatrician. D gave her the dates. In response, H’s sister asked if her grandson was included in the invitation. H’s sister and husband are raising his daughter’s son. (His daughter lost custody.) The young man is 12 and seems like a nice kid, and has had a rough time. However, given the space constraints and the fact that he’s basically a stranger to us, D said she was sorry but that she wasn’t inviting children. H’s sister then said, “well we’re declining the invitation so don’t bother to send it to us.” D feels bad and thinks maybe she should invite the grandson. H says she shouldn’t invite the grandson. I’m sorry this sister won’t come but I think she’s being unreasonable. The grandson can stay with his grandfather’s brother and family and has stayed with them at other times. Are we being jerks for not inviting this child? Adding that all these relatives will be traveling from the Midwest to New England for the wedding.

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Definitely not being jerks. Stick to the no children policy.

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I agree to not change the rules. H’s younger sister somehow doesn’t want to ‘get’ that this is adults only - since she decided that they were not going to go, they have made their decision. Will she cause family problems later - oh well, that is on her.

Weddings/families - not for the faint of heart. Typically, you get enough family together, there is going to be an issue or a demand. Spoken out loud or unspoken. Tensions.

Now the couple can invite 2 people that they wanted to, or can invite some close friends that due to space limitations might not have been invited.

DD1’s reception space caused a limit on wedding invitations - so when they got some regrets, the couple were able to add some more of their local friends. Their friends knew this would be the case, and we all fine with it.

@Bromfield2 your daughter is not being unreasonable.

Some people find things to get upset about and weddings bring out all the feelings.

It sounds like she’s being very concerned to be nice and inclusive, unfortunately sometimes it gets taken advantage of.

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Absolutely not. We all have circumstances. Your daughter has a space one. The relative has one that if the 12 year old can’t come neither can she. There are no obligations in invites when it comes to a wedding!

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I think no children ( or no children under 18 or whatever) is perfectly fine. Venues have space limitations and some people simply don’t want youngsters at their wedding which is perfectly fine, too.

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I think no kids is fine. As it is also said, it is an invitation, not a summons.

My niece will be married in April. Beach location in North Carolina. My D2 will need to take 2 flights to get there. I asked the MOB if she could bring her baby to the welcome party (which is after the rehearsal dinner). I was told NO.

We clearly knew he was not invited to the wedding, but this seems “strong.” D2 may skip this wedding or both Ds may coordinate their schedules and leave husbands home to save money.

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That does seem strong. It’s not like a welcome party is a quiet or ceremonial event, as everyone will be talking/socializing. As long as she was willing to take the baby out if he gets fussy.

2 flights and juggling a baby would be my sign to skip that wedding.

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If your DD were mine, I’d advise that she send her aunt the invitation addressed to aunt and husband as previously intended.
Aunt’s response may have been reflexive and this would give her time to reconsider.
Maybe she would consider coming to her family event solo if there are no other viable arrangements available for the 12 year old.

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Definitely you are in the right. Once you make exceptions to rules it is likely to cause chaos and bad feelings among a larger group.

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I think it is fine for someone to ask for an exception. I think it’s fine for the bride and groom to have a financial limit and hold to it.

I think the gracious response is to send the invitation along with a note saying how sorry they are to not see them, but will be sure to send photos, whatever. Wish the 12 yr old well.

There’s no reason to react poorly to people not attending a wedding. There are all sorts of reasons, and too many couples seem to think it is an order. You want to have an odd dress code, inflexible food, guest limits that split couples or families, distant location – that is all perfectly okay, but don’t cast stones at those who opt out.

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Of course an invitation is not a requirement to attend. D’s wedding was held near our ( then) home in NoVA where we had lived for decades and where she grew up. It was a long trip for some and not for others. There were at least 2 cousins who were not able to attend because of infants/babies and having to travel. One very close cousin was acting as MOH in her bff’s wedding that same day. Others had various conflicts.
OTOH the couple has is not obligated to invite everyone they know.

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S was very clear—NO kids. A friend did bring kids anyway and S & DIL were gracious about it but others present who followed the no kids rule were a bit irritated that they brought kids that they assumed S allowed. We told the others that the kids were a surprise to all of us and definitely uninvited and then they were all fine.

I think it’s very presumptuous to bring kids when you’ve been told no kids and it’s clear from website & everywhere. Of course one can ask but should accept the choice of the couple getting married and either graciously attend or decline.

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There’s no financial limitation. My D and fiancé are holding the reception in a unique venue that is generally not used for wedding receptions. The local regulations put a limit on the number of people who can be at this venue. None of us is casting stones at sister/aunt who will opt out. We just can’t accommodate her husband’s grandson.

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I think if she allows this child, others will likely ask or be miffed that they weren’t allowed to bring their kids. I don’t see the college students as “kids” - they can be considered adults. We had the “issue” of no plus ones for our family to a cousin’s wedding, even though 2 of them were living with their SOs. They had a low attendee limit, and we were with that decision. As it turned out, COVID was happening, and even though the wedding went on, we did not attend (pre-vaccine).

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