For Sis, who hosted morning after brunch at her home, she kept it pretty straight forward. It was catered Korean food that she picked up & served family style. We brought all leftover beverages to her home and she did everything. It was simple & casual and allowed folks to see and talk to one another again before everyone heading out in seperstd directions.
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Back from Barcelona and wedding number 2 in five months. DD2 only invited 23 people and we all stayed at a Villa outside of the city. It was lovely but did rain (heavily) on Friday and Sat. We had a Welcome dinner on Saturday (moved inside), went to a vineyard by bus on Sunday, and they moved the wedding to an hour earlier on Monday because of the weather but Monday turned out to be the best weather and they had the ceremony, cocktail party and dinner outside (it did get cold during the dinner).
The only real problem was that we were told that it was easy to take cabs to this place but that proved difficult. The Villa was about 10 minutes from the main road/train station but cabs donât like to drive up the mountain during at night. My friend and I got to the train station and no cabs, but daughter and SIL picked us up (it really was only about 10 minutes) and then I was stuck for the weekend (that was fine). Other SIL did rent a car at the airport and that saved us to run to the store for groceries and shuttling people. And he drove me to the airport on Tues.
Wonderful time and I think just what she wantedâŠ
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Just beautiful!
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I got to spend some time w FDiL at the venue and the rehearsal venue, it was fun. The issue with the number of people invited to brunch on Sunday was settled by MOB, so I didnât have to have an opinion.
FDiL walked around w the coordinator and I hung back, took photos of details weâll want later. She was all weepy and adorable : âNext time we are here [son and she] will be marriedâ
I have encouraged her to task the wedding party with various items and details. She also drove an extra hour to come see my Mom for all of 15 minutes 
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Just back from a wedding out west.
Whatâs up with the DJ telling the guests to applaud for the vendors and servers!? Thatâs how he kicked off the dancing.
It was a super nice wedding and I was glad to attend but that call for applause just grated on me. (And it turns out, I wasnât the only one who thought it was crass).
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The weddings weâve attended, they usually thank vendors & servers after all others are thanked and acknowledged, toward end of program. I think thatâs where it belongs. Those are paid positions, unlike the volunteers & family!
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Our D is having a wedding in Napa. It was interesting to me that the various venues had preferred lists of wedding planners (some required a planner from a specified list) and vendors. It seems there is a tight ecosystem of planners, caterers, flower people, entertainers/DJâs, etc⊠No complaints from us because so far things have gone very smoothly and with less stress because everything is organized, and we are not worried that someone will drop the ball. But I agree, plugging fellow vendors so early is off putting.
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My D and future SIL were here for the weekend because their wedding planner, caterer, and tent company/person? arrived on Sunday for a site visit. H and I hadnât met any of these folks before and thought it was a good meeting, especially because it was the first time the caterer has been to our house (rehearsal dinner is in our garden) and to the reception venue. They were able to nail down tent set-up at both places and the flow of events for the wedding/reception. It hit me that the wedding is really close when the caterers left and they saidââWeâll see you at the wedding!!â
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D just got engaged which we are super happy about. Really interested to hear about how much people are spending on weddings nowadays. Iâm sure it varies greatly but would appreciate if you all donât mind sharing.
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It depends on where the reception is located, how many people, style of reception desired. So many factors influence cost. Perhaps if you could give a guess about where, how many and style (casual, semi formal, formal) people can comment.
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Congrats!
You can probably find people who spent $1500 and people who spent $150k.
But yes some details would help.
Also for many of us we contributed to our kids weddings but in the end have no idea what total wedding costs. Thatâs true for my two that have married so far.
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I am not sure but I believe my daughterâs wedding (catering hall on Hudson River, Saturday afternoon in November, way too much food, DJ, 100 guests, 11 attendants including officiant) cost around $30k.
In the last 6 years Iâve paid for 2 weddings. One in upstate New York and one in NYC. My advice is to set a budget on what you are comfortable in spending and not to let others to pressure you into doing more. You could spend few thousands in flowers or 5+ figures. You could just pay for the day of wedding or pre wedding events, welcome party, brunch after the wedding, etc.
I spent the same amount for both daughters. They paid for extras they wanted. Unlike some parents on this forum, I didnât just hand over the money and to,d them they could do what they wanted. There were few things I expected at the wedding and I communicated that in the beginning. My kids kept me involved, from picking the dress to selecting the venue and the seating chart. I tried not to voice too many opinions (well, except when I didnât like the venue D2 picked, but we compromised at the end).
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They are likely getting married in California - she wants a small wedding but donât think thatâs going to happy as future MIL has a list of 80 people she wants to invite. So guessing 175âish, an outdoor locations (wineries, etc.) and not casual (semi-formal)?
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For a Ca vineyard wedding Iâd guess minimum of $30,000. That number might even be low as mine have all been married for several years. The venue fees lone can be high before you even get a morsel of food.
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My S and DIL kept the wedding very small (82 people) because that was what they wanted. I have no idea what it cost because that was their business. They did let us provide lists of who we REALLY wanted and lists of maybe invitees.
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And just saw on the news that wedding gown prices are going to be going up⊠so budget more than you thought you would pay back at the end of next year.
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My guess would be 100k+ after dress, flowers, photographer (videographer), music. CA vineyard wedding is not cheap. They would usually require approved caterers, wedding planner, etc. They may not allow a lot of DIY.
At a vineyard, you may need to rent tables, chairs, China, utensils.
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I know this isnât really helpful, but my cousinâs 3rd daughter is getting married this fall; the last was married 10 years ago. She said if she had the same wedding for this D that she gave 10 years ago, the cost would be about double! While we know everything has increased in price, she is having to go a bit simpler for this wedding, which is perfectly acceptable to the bride and groom.
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Costs have skyrocketed since covid. Not sure what the reason is but wedding costs are much higher than before covid.
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