That’s plenty girly! There are all kinds of girls, and I join you in the no accessories department.
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My S and DIL didn’t offer transportation. Most of the guests who didn’t have local loved ones were fine with Uber & Lyft, which serviced both the Waikiki hotels most stayed at as well as the downtown venue where the wedding & reception was held. Our neighbors (friends of the groom) chose to catch a ride-share so they could drink as much as they wanted and not worry about driving. They all loved the open bar and S paid $10/person corkage so he could provide all the beverages he wanted.
They did drink quite a bit, but the red wine they didn’t drink, Costco was perfectly willing to and did refund, as long as the labels were undamaged. We returned a goodly number of bottles of unopened bottles of red wine. S was happy he has us get the liquor from Costco because of this rather than the PX which would not have been willing to refund unused red wine.
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My daughter had what I call a destination wedding (although she disagrees since it was only 1.5 hours from our home). The wedding was at a resort that offered different price levels of accommodations. In addition, they blocked off rooms at a lower-priced chain hotel in town for those who didn’t want to stay at the resort.
Her in-laws generously paid for transportation from the two places to the rehearsal dinner and welcome party, which was at a restaurant in town. We paid for several dedicated hours of the resort’s shuttle service to take guests from various pick-up locations in the resort, to the ceremony/reception and back again.
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Re:transportation. D’s wedding was at an historical property in a rural area. There was room on the property ( different cottages, etc) for immediate family and wedding party but other guests had to stay at hotels in the nearest town. We provided a shuttle so people who had had a few drinks were not driving on curvy country roads in the dark. Most guests took the shuttle. It was worth it for our peace of mind.
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D had a wedding in the suburbs (an area not well lit at night) and ubers are not always readily available. For the wedding we paid for two shuttle busses to run loops to and from the hotel before the wedding, starting an hour before the wedding ended (when the band got loud and some older adults leave), and running through the end of the after-party (which was at the same venue). The idea was to help older guests and we did not want anyone drinking and driving.
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Yippee—just got a save the date for. friend’s D’s wedding—also in October. Seems like I may attend 3 weddings in October in Honolulu as both Nephews talked about having their weddings in October 2026. One is marrying 10/1, this friend’s D is 10/10. Other nephew is talking about late October.
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I had never thought about a wedding providing transportation! Many weddings we’ve attended have either been dry or limited alcohol, so that’s probably why it’s less of a concern (and lots of church weddings where the reception was on site or nearby as well). My D’s wedding reception will be dry (her and her fiance’s preference). I think we will have one or two family members who will be really annoyed by this, but it’s their party and most of their friends don’t drink or rarely drink.
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I have attended weddings where a bus was provided to get guests from Waikiki to wedding venue and then from wedding to reception. I don’t recall it being there to get guests back home (it probably was bug I didn’t pay attention since it didn’t apply to me). Local folks drove—it was for folks who didn’t have rental cars and had ceremonies and receptions far from. Waikiki, where most guests were staying.
Buses are another expense and logistic. Where uber & lyft is available, it doesn’t seem necessary.
After one wedding, we drove bride (in very wide skirt with petticoats), groom and a guest from remote reception to a hotel in Waikiki for their wedding night. They had thought they’d spend it at the family airbnb but mom of bride vetoed so we offered to find them hotel room & get them there. We dropped guest off at her hotel.
At one wedding that was 1-1.5 hrs drive from our home, we rented a timeshare and had a staycation weekend. It was fun and relaxing.
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It’s not the alcohol that prompts transportation where we are. It’s the lack of parking at city venues…at least at reasonable prices. . And out of towners almost never rent cars in any event.
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Ah, that makes sense too. Mostly small city/small town/suburb weddings that we have attended, with few people flying in (and no parking issues)!
We had our car in Boston, and missed seeing the reserve spots for transporting bus/charter vehicle – so we paid premium for a few hours (and still a bit of walking), but it was a detail that the bride/groom tried a bit to ‘help’ - church was in a historic area distant from hotels that had all street parking ‘reserved’ by residents paying for street parking.
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D’s wedding was in a busy major city center, and the price of the venue included parking passes for a parking deck across the street from the reception. The church was also across the street - it worked out really well.
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Both sons-in-laws were insistent on booking and paying for transportation for guests between hotels and venue and back at multiple times. We paid for almost all of wedding, reception, and expenses but they wanted this to be a gift of safety and hospitality to their friends. It almost seemed they felt this was customary; weddings were 2000 miles apart, so not a regional thing. I think they may have had coolers of beverages on the buses. (Family members were welcome, too).
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Just bought this at Nordstrom Rack @$15 clearance in dark green. It’s reduced to $80 at Macy’s! Original price was $134.
Will wear it to one or more of the October weddings. It hits around my knee.
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Very nice, and what a price!
Yes—I love velvet and by coincidence, many of the dresses (& tops) I had put on my Amazon list were velvet! I’m now done—between my closet and this new dress & asymmetric burgandy top, I think I have more than enough.
The dress is not too low (or I could add a safety pin). It’s very comfortable to wear and fits me perfectly and drapes very nicely! It’s just the right weight for an October HI wedding!
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Very pretty dress @HImom
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S and DIL purposely chose a venue that had reasonable nearby parking and was easy to get uber and lyft to and from. They also had ceremony & reception at same venue and had cocktails & appetizers after ceremony while they were taking photos. They were fine with letting everyone handle their transportation.
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I feel like I scored big this weekend. I was able to secure a 8 bedroom/3 bath house near the hotel, which I offered at my expense to those of my family members with tight budgets. And I saw 3 timeshares also close by for really great prices and told my remaining family members to RUN and book them because the price was so good and I’d be absolutely shocked if they remained available for long. I’m familiar with the place and it’s nice. Ubers are plentiful and distance is short. Hopefully my family will take me seriously and grab them now. At $300 for the weekend (yes, 2 days, I checked, and no add-on fees), they can’t go wrong, unless they miss it.
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ShawD announced her engagement the weekend after New Year’s with a plan to have the wedding at the farm at the end of the summer. I think ShawD wants to make sure the wedding happens while her grandmother (the owner of the farm) is still alive. Grandma says the wedding her is keeping her going.
Logistics are complex when you do a wedding not at a venue. In addition to a tent, you need a generator, an ice machine, portpotties, etc. One could work with a wedding planner but they just seem to amplify costs. The wedding planner who worked with our niece a few years ago charges a minimum of $15K (all amounts in Canadian $$) but told ShawD that she couldn’t do a wedding for less than $115K (or something like that, probably not including her fee). Each wedding planner has a way of doing things they steer you towards and then they get to charge more when they do – ShawSon looked at the our nephew’s wedding planner who pushed our nephew and his wife (sadly now in the process of divorcing) to get a band and a bandstand for the band and then charged an extra $3K for booking the band. So ShawSon got a “day of” wedding planner, who was virtually useless. ShawD said they are going to get a “month of” wedding planner so that all major expenditures can be set without the planner, who can concentrate on coordinating logistics.
Prices seem to have increased substantially from 2022. ShawD and her partner want to be frugal (as did ShawSon). Grandma has given each kid $50K for each kid’s wedding at the farm. We gave ShawSon a bit more and they were able to do their whole wedding within the budget. The price inflation would make that impossible unless we contribute more. Plus, ShawSon hates music and so they did not have a band or DJ. I think one of their friends had a track on his iphone so that they had music for dancing later. Not a problem for the kids to pay some but we could contribute more too. Have not discussed with ShawWife.
ShawD saw two wedding dresses that she loved – one was US$3K+ and the other around US$7K, I think. Apparently you couldn’t even get them delivered for 5-6 months. Weird. She found that a wedding store in the UK was selling a sample of the same dress in the right size for 600 GBP and it would cost 100 GBP to ship. She will have it this week. ShawD is tall and attractive and looks good in lots of stuff so I’m sure she will look great.
There is something wrong about the overall cost of weddings. ShawSon’s wife did not have a family that could contributed anything. ShawD’s partner’s family is unlikely to make a major contribution (if any). We are in a more fortunate position. Plus, my kids and their partners have good combined incomes (in ShawSon’s case into top 1%) and can afford to contribute. How do real people pay these crazy prices? Both of our kids and their partners tried very hard to keep costs down.
On dresses for ShawWife, I helped her get her dresses for ShawSon’s weddings as ShawWife HATES shopping. There is a store in Canmore AB that we visit every summer with brands she likes and I encourage her to shop (I have to sit in an uncomfortable chair and review things as the come out). The summer before last, I more or less forced her to buy a dress for ShawD’s wedding (which was just an inkling in our eye at the time). We got a dress and “coat” from an Australian company called Alquema that was artsy and elegantly designed and was on sale. I found the “coat” and something similar to the dress (color better matches the coat) from their online site.
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