The only absolutely not I put on my younger daughter’s wedding was No Outdoor venue. My older daughter’s was outside and the days leading up to it…watching weather apps were incredibly stressful. I said no outdoor option e en with a “back up” plan. I watched my friend and her daughter have a stressful wedding day trying to make “ the call” about outside or inside. My younger daughter has now chosen a beautiful indoor venue.
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I used to have to determine whether to move the outside commencement ceremony inside for my employer. The indoor venue was quite nice, but everyone wanted to be in the really cool outdoor venue. The few days leading up to Commencement were nerve wracking. Had my D chosen to have her wedding outdoors … the week after our school’s Commencement … I think I would have had a breakdown!
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I told my younger daughter that my mental health could not take an outdoor option.
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One daughter’s wedding and reception was at a country club venue and another daughter’s was at a relative’s beautiful large yard. The outside tented wedding and reception was far more expensive, even though there were significantly fewer guests. Everything from the forks to the dance floor to the chairs to the alcohol had to be brought in.
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I’m reading the above posts and thinking how lucky we were with the little kid’s converted farm venue! We only had to bring a pickup full of stuff. The venue had chairs, tables, dance floor, tents that thankfully weren’t needed, bar and bartender, etc.
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@gouf78 -no expectations beyond punch and cake in those days? Not where I was from! Even 45 years ago people where I grew up expected an open bar and they expected to be fed a meal.
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For S’s outdoor venue, the venue supplied the tables, chairs, pretty much everything. S & DIL even rented the vases. They DID buy the flowers, wedding gown, beverages. Somehow there was a sound system, DJ, and the venue had a great caterer. The venue had the furniture reconfigured from seating for the ceremony to reception table seating while the guests were in a patio enjoying appetizers and drinks. It all went seamlessly and no guests had to move furniture, cook, serve, or do anything other than have a nice time. If we had to rush indoors into a ballroom, it would have been seamless as well, since I had attended a wedding at that venue, where we had to go from outdoors to the ballroom there when the rain just decided it wouldn’t quit.
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Your comment about 45 years ago reminded me of talking with my former MIL about her wedding. It would have been about 80 years ago and she had over 300 guests! I was shocked when she told me this because for some reason I thought that people had smaller weddings back then. But she had the whole shebang of dinner and a band and a big wedding venue. She didn’t come from much money, so I found the whole thing hard to fathom. On a different note, this summer will be my parents’ 75th wedding anniversary. They had their wedding reception at a nice restaurant, but it was only dinner, no dancing, which I thought was more typical for the time.
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My parents married 70 years ago and had a big hotel wedding with open bar, passed appetizers and full meal and 12 piece orchestra. In big cities among my grandparents’ friends ( he was a doctor) this was common
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40 years ago, when we were married, we had a DJ. Most folks we knew had DJs for their weddings. I and all my sibs had full meals—either plated or buffets. Mine was 7 course Chinese dinner at nice hotel.
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We were married 30 years ago in Asia. So easy. One stop shop for hair, makeup, clothes (several changes including Western bridal gown), flowers and photos. Had a Chinese banquet at a big hotel and collected enough red envelope money to cover all expenses. We also had a reception stateside: golf tournament/BBQ; country club reception; next day softball games with Italian subs and cheesesteaks.
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Love competition!
Does anyone have any tips on what to include in the DJ contract? I looked at the one proposed by the DJ my D wants to hire. I told my D that she needs to strike out the language saying that if he’s sick or has an equipment failure then all he has to do is give a refund (and she needs to have a conversation with him about what his backup plans are), but I don’t really know what to add other than hours and the person providing the music.
All these contracts are driving me a bit crazy! I don’t remember signing any contracts for any event I’ve ever had except for the venue. It was all word of mouth, relying on people’s reputations, and any marketing brochures or invoices.
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I guess I would ask if he’s had to cancel before and what were the circumstances?
I definitely understand his concern. People do get sick. Equipment does fail. But, I want to make sure that he has skin in the game to get coverage, rather than just being able to throw his hands up in the air saying oh well, here’s your money back. I think it’s funny that when I was telling my daughter that if there were no music, her whole wedding would be ruined, she thought I was being a little dramatic. Her response was we could run to Walmart for some speakers and pick out a good Spotify list. But it sure sounds dicey to me as a back up plan, particularly when if there’s a problem like this, it’s going to happen the day of the event.
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Agree. But on the bright side, it is great that your D is so relaxed about the wedding.
And yes to asking about back up plan. I’d also be sure to understand what breaks the DJ gets, if he can keep some music on during the breaks, if music during ceremony is part of it (if desired), if you need to provide food, does DJ bring all required equipment or does venue need to supply anything, when can they get in contact to discuss details of the reception (ex who is introduced, who give speeches and when, special dances, etc), if they can give the DJ a list with some songs they would like played. Also when we had a DJ for D’s Sweet 16 we told them not to take requests from guests – D was specific about music she wanted).
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Thanks for the pointers! None of that was in the contract except that he’s going to provide all equipment. Some of the stuff has to be a little blurry at the moment because we still don’t know if they will be able to get married at a church the day of the reception, or whether a church wedding will happen some days before or after or (gulp) not at all, in which case there will be a civil ceremony at the venue immediately before the reception. At this point I’m hoping for a small church service immediately after the honeymoon at my parents’s parish, so my parents can see their granddaughter get married in the church. It would be very doubtful that they would be healthy enough to go to the big event and my dad wouldn’t be able to tolerate being around that many people anyway.
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Great list. But…both my kids had very relaxed music and I think your daughter is smart to not fret. One had a DJ who had worked at this venue many times (her MIL owns the venue) so knew the set up. He was great and played requests. He did play some things during the ceremony that were pre-arranged.
Other D got married at a villa and her make up person played violin for the ceremony and for the cocktail party. They then used a boombox thing that hooked up to their phones and everyone was fine with that. Used for the after party too.
Nephew had a 5 piece band and a DJ (I think booked together?). I’m sure there were contracts and agreements on what was played for 1st dance, mother/son dance, the bride’s father played a song to her with the band backing him up.
If your daughter does get married in a church before her reception, and you want him to provide music, make sure he knows what the church will allow. Our church is very particular so usually the church organist/pianist is hired separately from any reception DJ.
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When we attended several weddings and other events (celebrations of life), one of the brothers of the family had songs on his phone and streamed them as part of his gift to the couple. He was also the emcee and did a tremendous job. It really doesn’t have to be fancy but it helps that the guy is in cinema and is excellent and producing quality work.
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My D had her wedding reception at a resort, but it was outside in a permanent tent that the resort sets up for its wedding season. All that to say that yes, there are a lot of logistics involved, including everything on your list. They only thing I would add is renting a floor for the tent, so people aren’t having to walk on grass and/or dirt. The ladies in heels will thank you (as will the bottom of your daughter’s wedding dress!)