Wow. 750 guests? Amazing.
Over 1000 were invited but fortunately a significant # sent their regrets. Dad loved big parties & invited the large majority of the guests.
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My niece and her intended are coming to Denver to shop for venues this weekend. They don’t even know if they are getting married here or in DC. I have a favorite as it is near my house and has good parking (at a golf course). I fear I will be driving to some place downtown and fighting for parking.
They are also having a tea ceremony and I think that will be in the DC area as his family lives nearby so I’m thinking they will split the event and have the tea ceremony there and the wedding reception here.
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Well we finally met with grooms parents. They offered to pay for the cost of the band remaining after the 20 percent deposit we made. They were apologetic that it wasn’t more ( asi noted it’s typical here now for grooms parents to pay 1/2. We told them they had nothing to apologize for and that it was generous of them to pay for the band. We have in place wedding venue, welcome part venue, photographer, videographer, hair, make up, sketch artist ( does sketch’s of guests after taking a photo. https://www.■■■■■■■■/listing/1444133191/live-wedding-illustration-artist-ny?gpla=1&gao=1&&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_us_-art_and_collectibles&utm_custom1=_k_CjwKCAiAv5bMBhAIEiwAqP9GuAgKpjJKihek6p0_juCf8pKpFnaU-8ti9LFacppScQzZCHAEP1ovehoCZ4sQAvD_BwE_k_&utm_content=go_22134205100_173200640069_729350061763_pla-314954651933_c__1444133191_12768591&utm_custom2=22134205100&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22134205100&gbraid=0AAAAADtcfRKm0fHFf6NUNCsGjJCajxnBS&gclid=CjwKCAiAv5bMBhAIEiwAqP9GuAgKpjJKihek6p0_juCf8pKpFnaU-8ti9LFacppScQzZCHAEP1ovehoCZ4sQAvD_BwE) and the rabbi.
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Well, I respect them for not contributing more than they are comfortable with, and I hope you seek their input and ask/consider what’s important to them, despite the unequal monetary contribution.
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Yes. We are making sure that what is important to them is strongly considered. DD talks to her future mother in law all the time and keeps her up to date on what we are planning and seeks input. She got future MIL ok to use the Rabbi she wanted who is not from a religious affiliation (Reform ) as groom’s parents (conservative).
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Son’s DJ cancelled a few weeks prior to wedding. The one the ended up with was great… phew. (For everything else there was a package deal at nature preserve, with a local restaurant experienced about providing tent, food, bar etc. But arranging the DJ was their responsiblity. And the officiant - that was a friend who was NOT at risk of cancel 
)
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D1’s DJ ended up not being able to do their wedding, but he arranged for someone to fill in and that DJ turned out to be amazing. The contract with the original DJ had a clause that he would provide a substitute if he could not make it.
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D2’s DJ contract said it was the DJ’s responsibility to find a replacement if he was unavailable. It actually happened and he got the owner as his replacement. The owner was very accommodating. He was there in the very beginning of the wedding and stayed as long as we needed him.
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Got a big surprise today when son sent me a link to a rather large villa outside Lake Como, Italy where the entire family/friends can stay and we’d just have to pay our air fare. Not sure about this place, looks nice but only 1 review - they offer the catering and entire wedding setup as well….but again, only 1 review. Photos show wedding at the villa but the 1 review was not from a wedding party. Just wondering how many parents on here have kids to arrange European weddings. I’m the mother of the groom but I don’t think the mother of the bride is very involved, she’s single and working all the time so I get it. Any recommendations or things to ask or note regarding weddings in Italy, particularly Lake Como area.
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I know someone who got married at lake Como. I know she used a wedding planner and said she couldn’t have done it without that.
My daughter got married in Barcelona and she arranged the whole thing in about 3 months. Decided to do it in mid Dec and got married March 10. She found the villa, and the most it would hold was 32 (and that would have been packed). She had 25, including her and husband, me and grooms parents, siblings (one each with spouse) and the rest were all friends from hs or college. No other relatives.
She used a wedding coordinator and she was great. They had 2 meals, the ceremony, a photographer, a make up person (who also played violin at ceremony and for cocktails). The coordinator arranged all the linens, china, food, serving, clean up. Over the weekend, we all did the breakfast and lunch cooking. We couldn’t arrive before noon on Sat and out Tues morning, and the wedding was Monday evening.
One mistake was we didn’t have enough rental cars to get to the town for supplies (B&G, my other SIL and one set of friends rented cars, but they were small european cars so…). No taxis would come up the mountain to the villa, so those with cars had to drive a lot. To get back to airport/Barcelona, they did arrange shuttle buses.
I think it cost more than daughter thought it would, and at some point she just kept paying. Flowers? Pay. Lighting? Pay. Food? Pay.
But it was what she wanted. And a lot of fun.
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A family member is getting married at Lake Maggiore in Italy in September. They are using a wedding coordinator from the area. No big villa but rather a $1000/nt hotel. We are not making the trip but my in-laws are. They are looking at Airbnb’s instead of the $1000/nt hotel and are planning to stay for 2 weeks afterward and see other parts of Italy (should be interesting as MIL’s mobility isn’t great). The bride & groom live in Manhattan and are saying that getting married in Italy will be less than getting married in NYC (less for whom?) FIL estimates the trip will cost him about $20k (with business class flights).
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Eek! But if I’m reading your post correctly, that’s for 2 people for almost 3 weeks? At nicer than hostel hotels? I hope he has a good time and it sounds like he will.
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Yes. He’s just estimating at this point based off the prices he’s seeing for the business class flights from the U.S. and the expensive wedding hotel. If he ends up with a less expensive Airbnb, the price will go down. He’s also considering the costs of the extra travel, lodging and food over the 2+week time period as he plans to go to other locations in Italy after the wedding. Luckily, he has plenty of money to do it. This is his grandson (2nd marriage for my MIL, who was widowed). He did say that having to spend this much getting to the wedding would likely affect how much his wedding gift is, but I doubt it.
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And despite the grumbling, I bet he’s thrilled to get to go and spend the money.
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I would hope that a couple that chooses a wedding like the one described would not have an expectation of an expensive gift from those who attend. The gift of their presence should be present enough. (Of course, if he can afford it, I would think he’d probably be happy to give the couple a nice gift.)
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My daughter did not expect gifts from those who attended (and those who didn’t) her wedding in Spain. She did get money from her inlaws and from groom’s grandparents, but not many gifts from others.
She was touched by the cards she received from her friends (again, those who attended and those who didn’t). I was surprised to see them displayed at her house in the months that followed. My daughter is a minimalist and rarely has anything like that ‘messing up’ her house so you know she really liked them.
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Regarding weddings held abroad, I think this is seen by some as a way to keep the wedding costs down. I can see it being a challenge for some to have a small wedding - either you keep it to family only or if you open up the list or for those with very large extended families or whose parents have a ton of people that they want to invite - this way, no one’s feelings get hurt that they weren’t invited and only those who are really close to the bride & groom will be willing to travel that far to attend. So your mom’s 7 tennis partners who you’ve only met a few times but your mom insists be on the invite list or your dad’s business partners at his firm, etc.
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But while it may keep wedding costs down for those paying, is it costing more for those attending? Even if the party is small.
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True, I have no idea. Son wants to cover accommodations for guests but there will still be extras over and above air fare I’m sure - train trip from Milan down to Como or Ubers or whatever. Guessing some will stay to make it a vacation in Italy. I don’t know how mothers of girls do this, I sure couldn’t.