20k seems on par or even a tiny bit low for 2 weeks in Europe with business class seats.
Depending on the time frame, the airfare could be half of the budget. Lots of variables and it’s unclear where from and if they have any points to redeem
We were at a wedding in Williamsburg Brooklyn today. I find that young people have more disposable income and travel more extensively than we ever did. The couple I sat next to came from Lisbon. They were lovely. Now I want to go to Portugal!
My daughter has been to weddings in the Dominican Republic, at the Four Seasons WDW and at several other fancy places, and to bachelorette parties in the Bahamas. My nephew (same age as daughter) has been to weddings in Italy, Spain, bachelor parties in Mexico and Vail and they all think nothing of it. Sometimes they just go for a weekend and other times it is a week or 10 days.
They all have a lot of disposable income. I’m glad my daughter is enjoying her 20’s and getting to travel a lot.
My niece has been to exotic weddings in other countries (where one of the wedding couple is from). So far, I’m unaware of if my S has been to weddings in other countries but he’s already traveled the globe a lot more than H and me put together—sometimes alone and done times with DIL. D has only been in US and her weddings have been on Oahu.
Yes - he totally is. He’s 82 and can’t take his money with him. He just comes from that generation where most folks were very frugal with their money and would never fathom spending the amounts that some young people spend on weddings these days. He also grumbles about the cost of K-cups for his Kuerig 
Sounds like me!
I wish my D’s friends had disposable incomes! They are all still in school and graduating a few weeks before my D’s wedding, so none of them have any money except what they take out in student loans. We are trying to make it not a financial burden for them to be in the wedding or attend. The grooms parents & I are picking up the hotel tab for their friends (4 to a room), and our kids specifically made the venue within easy driving distance. I’m paying for hair/makeup for the bridesmaids, and my D said she’s going to be careful about the dress cost for them, so other than gas money, hopefully that’s the only expense they’ll incur.
I’ll also end up paying for the shower, and wish I lived closer so I could host it at my house, but I don’t so it will have to be at a restaurant.
And now my D has asked if she forgoes all flowers at the wedding (other than her bouquet and the bridesmaids’ bouquet), would I be willing to apply that line item from the wedding budget to a bachelorette weekend instead. I think it’s a combination of her being really turned off at the prices she’s been quoted for flowers, and wanting to have an away bachelorette weekend that her friends can’t otherwise afford. I like her friends. She’s had them for many years and they’ve always been financially responsible and good kids. Also, once they all graduate they might be spread to the wind for the foreseeable future so I think my D really wants this bonding time with them. I guess it’s time to think of alternative centerpieces. Maybe a cake stand with cupcakes? The venue would allow that (without a cake cutting fee!) and it would be inexpensive for me to make them. Open to other ideas!
I love that you are taking into consideration your daughter’s friends and their financial limitations.
And the flower vs. bachelorette (which can also be done reasonably if you work at it) is a great idea - people are more important than things. And the time spent with people will be better memories that an arrangement on each table!
Other non flower ideas:
Paper Chinese lanterns in different colors
Bowls of fruit
Bowls of candy
Fairy lights
Candles (but that can get expensive)
Lava lamps
Seashells
We went to a wedding recently with old books on the table as centerpieces (artfully arranged, with some small candles and a few artificial flowers). It looked very nice. I’m assuming it was fairly inexpensive, given that you can get old books in bulk lots for staging, etc.
Could you repurpose the bridesmaids’ bouquets as centerpieces? How many centerpc would you need, ideally?
We were at a wedding with tissue paper flowers in borrowed vases as centerpc. Very colorful! Where we are, Buy Nothing exchanges and FB bargains are usually the order of the day for centerpc, but that might not fly for you. I’ve been to weddings with no centerpieces and those were fine too.
I agree that a weekend with her friends is a better value than centrpc which get thrown out, but it’s hard to give up decorations 
You’ll come up with something!
If you’ve given your daughter a budget, and she wants to reallocate, I think that’s fine (her wedding, her choice). If she’s asking you for more money, only you can decide.
Do you have any friends with a vacation condo or lake house that they might borrow? Then you could give some money for food for the weekend, maybe buy a board game they can play. If it is really about the time together and not a night on the town in Nashville, you should be able to do it on the cheap. My daughter has been to insanely expensive Bachelorette parties and she usually doesn’t have a good time because the night on the town life isn’t her thing. She went to one in Savannah that cost her hundreds of $$$ and then the wedding was cancelled!
For that wedding, D skipped the showers (which were mostly in NJ so that the bride’s grandmothers could attend. That might be an option too, to have the shower much lower key and just for the older crowd, and let the younger girls have a bachelorette party.
I would have no problem giving up decorations. :). I say pick one if you are on a budget (or just don’t want to spend a ridiculous amount of $) - either a nicely set table (pretty chairs, tablecloth linens, dishes or a simple centerpiece. As a guest, I truly could care less about a centerpiece which often gets moved to see the people across the table - even ones that are not tall! Once all the different food options hit the table (appetizers or main meal or fancy desserts or multiple drink glasses) the centerpiece again just takes up space!
The picture perfect pictures still come with the picture perfect couple, family and friends.
Flowers can be done with a small budget. I recently went to a wedding where they bought assorted flowers from Trader Joe’s. The sisters cut them down and put them with just water in an assortment of small vases and glass bottles. Not a huge mass of flowers in each small vase just the look of someone going into a field and picking a simple bouquet. I also went to one where they had small pots of herbs that the guests could take home.
Only one of mine had a bachelorette and she combined it with the shower weekend. Both took place in my city where my daughter grew up. I live in a place people vacation in so it was nice for the out of town friends. I stayed at my local kids house and the girls had the use of my house.
We went to a wedding where the centerpieces were mason jars filled with pixie sticks and colorful pinwheels from the dollar store. It was really cute.
Ooh, I love the idea of the Chinese lanterns with little fairy lights inside. All your ideas are great, thanks! I’ll run them by my D!
D’s bachelorette weekend was very budget friendly. They carpooled to a beach house borrowed from a friend, bought food and alcohol from Costco and hung out. The girls had a great time just being together.
The bridesmaids bouquets are going to be on the head table. We have an additional 20 to 25 tables. Because there are so many, I don’t think we can get them from a buy nothing group. My D looked into renting artificial flowers, but I didn’t like the looks and thought they were still pretty expensive. I think going in a totally different direction would be better. I really appreciate the suggestion though!
Maybe it’s because I’m short, but I’m not a fan of centerpieces. They seem to impede on conversation. I wonder if instead you could have small photos of the couple, different one at each table.
I honestly think she’s just asking for a reallocation, which was prompted by her feeling price gouged for very simple centerpieces. I also think she was hoping for somewhere fun for the bachelorette weekend, so that “savings” is very alluring. It will be interesting to see who will come to the bridal shower. I wouldn’t be surprised if very few members of my family came because they all hate showers, and if very few of the groom’s family came because they all live so far away. I think it will be mostly my former husband’s girlfriend’s family and the bridesmaids and the groom’s mom and me. I’m thinking it will be about 20 people. Watch I’m totally wrong and 75 show up!
Oh how nice that you live in a vacation hot spot and could just turn your house over to your D and her friends for a weekend!
I think part of the annoyance with the flower quote is we see how little the flowers cost at Trader Joe’s, and she was asking for something that would be super easy to put together. We had talked briefly about whether we could get enough flowers from TJ’s but didn’t think we could get enough, and I also don’t want to deal with fresh flowers the day before the wedding. If we did a DYI, I’d want to either do something that could be made ahead of time, or bake cupcakes the day before.
