Cute!
My daughter’s wedding we did TJ flowers that we put together in simple “wildflower type “bouquets”. It was a smaller wedding though - around 80 people? We picked the flowers up Thursday morning (they let you go in either right when they open or maybe they let her in shortly before to have first pick. We put the bouquets together Thursday night for a Saturday evening wedding. We had a large airbnb rented so did the bouquets there - stored them in the laundry room with enough water to be fine but not too much to transport them .
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Some must have disposable income, and some may act like they do.
My daughter who is single and turning 30 has done a fair amount of traveling, some with groups (educational and other opportunities which we paid for) and a few things with another person since she graduated college and on her own. Some of the most expensive trips have been tied with a bachelorette trip, and wedding expenses for being a bridesmaid and travel. She is now planning a trip with another friend who just turned 30.
DD2, when she does marry, will want well planned but not super costly. She values having funds to eventually purchase a home. The costs on weddings have changed quite a bit since DD1 was married in 2017.
They are almost all double engineering couples so most do.
Other daughter? Her friends were all art, theater and History majors. No money.
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My daughter did the same thing. The bachelorette trips are getting crazy expensive - not to mention the brides who require specific outfits each day & night for the Instagram photos.
I’m not big on elaborate (expensive) table centerpieces either. I’m sure TikTok or Pinterest would have a lot of less expensive DIY ideas. I love the idea of incorporating baby & childhood pics from the couple.
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I just remembered my husband’s 50th birthday party where I had multicolor bunches of helium balloons at each table. I also scattered multicolored m&ms with his date of birth on the tables, and had multicolor glow sticks.
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Have you checked flower prices at one of your grocery store floral departments? Many do wedding flowers. We did a lot of shopping around for DD’s flowers, and she got them from one of our grocery store floral departments. They were easy to work with and DD got exactly what she wanted.
Re: bachelorette…our DDs bridemaids and some selected friends live all over the country. They came to our area (where the wedding was) on Wednesday, wedding was Sunday. Our neighborhood is terrific, and we also have a private beach on a very pretty lake. One neighbor let the girls use their 4 bedroom house for the whole weekend. We did the food and beverage stock up. MOH arranged some inexpensive activities for those who were there. They also all had their manicures and pedicures together at our nail place. I brought brunch foods to that for everyone. It was really an inexpensive time. Girls were traveling here anyway so no additional costs for travel. They had a great time!
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I love flowers for special occasions. We did DIY for both kids’ welcome party. We got the flowers from Sam’s and the bridesmaids helped put them together. For the actual event, I did allocate a good budget for the flowers.
The bachelorette party is an opportunity for BFFs to get together to party before the wedding. If they don’t have money to do it now, they can always do it later on their own dimes. I am not sure if parents need to be on the hook for that. I think if parents could do it inexpensively and don’t mind doing it then do it, but not if it means paying for a cancun weekend for 5+ girls.
Both of my girls have traveled the world for friends’ weddings - India, France, Italy, Colorado, etc. D2 is going to 5 destination weddings this year, so no personal vacations this year.
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The concept of requiring specific outfits for specific days is mind-boggling to me. I think some folks are going a bit overboard!
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I told S & DIL they set the trend by having a 10/2023 wedding. S’s two male cousins are having October 2026 weddings. Haha! We also have a friend whose D is also getting married in October, so it will be a fun and busy month for us between these weddings, all on Oahu! No other weddings this year, but 3 is a lot for us these days!
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More and more I am seeing things that are ‘beyond proper etiquette’ - a younger sister that believes her family members each should contribute $20,000 towards her wedding.
A friend commented “why some people are poor (no matter how much they make) and some people are rich (even when they don’t make that much). The younger sister is the entitled brat that believes she has to have an Instagram worthy wedding for validation because she lacks any self-esteem.”
Some first marriages that are quite ‘showy’ contribute towards the 43% divorce rate on first marriages.
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I see those comments also. Usually from Reddit which I take with a huge grain of salt.
I don’t think it’s common to ask family members that are not their parents to contribute to a wedding.
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If a wealthy grandparent, maybe. It depends how close the bride/groom are with these other family members. I know a gal (an only child) who had an aunt/uncle that were like 2nd parents (they had no kids), and they contributed exactly what the parents did for the bride-to-be ($40,000) - this was a few years ago, and she was a ‘smart flake’ - after a week of PT school she quit that, and she also divorced her husband, although he hung in all along with her new career path (in the entertainment industry) - she wanted the divorce.
I don’t concern myself with the cost of any wedding I’m not paying for. Period. I could not care less what anyone spends and I don’t care who asks who to who to pay for it, unless they are asking me.
The divorce rate has been high for decades now. Lots of factors to that.
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Some people want a marriage. Some people want a wedding. Not necessarily the same things…
People can ask me all they want – sometimes I think the problem is not the couples with their demands, but the number of people who aren’t able to say “sorry, no”. No, we can’t come to your wedding 3000 miles away. No, we can’t chip in for a wedding. No, I can’t afford anything on your registry. No, I can’t afford to be an groomsman. No, we can’t do a bridesmaid trip 1500 miles away. No, we can’t spend all our vacation time for your wedding week. Say “no” with a smile and good wishes. Nothing wrong with that. Maybe if we were all a little more honest about our limits (financial and otherwise) there would be less pressure all around. More normalizing “no” as a perfectly acceptable option.
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I clearly know different people. Almost all of the couples I know who have been married in the last several years were a bit older, had been together awhile and lived together. Some wanted a small intimate ceremony, some wanted a big party. No right or wrong there. None of the couples I know got married just to have a wedding. And I would never assume that about someone who has a big wedding.
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The couples we know have often been together 5-8 years and just want to have a nice event for loved ones to enjoy with them. None have ever ASKED for money, not even S. We just gifted him some when he told us they were engaged.
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It is kind of fun watching my niece plan her wedding. She got engaged at Christmas and is getting married in August. First thing she learned is if she wants a certain venue then the wedding would not be on a Friday or Sat night. So Thurs it is. One bridesmaid and probably not a ‘walk down an aisle’ bridesmaid, just a good friend helper (she can wear whatever she wants). Went to Aeropostle (I guess they have a wedding dress selection in the back) and tried on like 20 dresses but found a tailor who sells ‘vintage’ and found a Vera Wang (I don’t think Vera Wang is old enough to be considered vintage) that needs no alternations and bought it on the spot.
She lives in DC and is getting married in Denver, so she’s pretty okay with finding something and just saying yes to it as she doesn’t have time to compare and think about it. Her brother’s first comment was ‘you can’t plan a wedding in only 8 months’ and her response was ‘watch me.’
My friend’s daughter is getting married in June and when she went to book a venue the woman said, “Well it is available but do you know that’s the opening night of the World Cup?” (Boston). No, she did not know that so pivot time and she’s now getting married in Maine.
Have to be flexible.
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