Have a great weekend, @ClassicMom98
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I agree. And to keep trying to further the narrative that we should have provided transportation by reaching out to people he barely knew to find someone with room for 3 more people and their luggage - like, what??! The three of them could have split the cost of a rental car or just RSVP’d “No”.
In our situation, the grandparents were rockstars and got themselves there on their own, without drama, as did 99% of the invited guests.
D’s in-laws graciously paid for a shuttle to take people from the resort venue as well as another nearby hotel, to the rehearsal dinner and welcome party.
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Side story (similar) - we have friends in a neighboring state who we invited to DS’ s bar mitzvah. The Sunday brunch was being held at our home, so we were not planning to have anyone stay at our house. They told me they “don’t do religion” so probably would skip the bar mitzvah service but would come to the luncheon afterward and nighttime party — oh and could they stay at our house and bring their dog (my s is allergic). You can guess my response to that! They didn’t attend.
Oh, and my grifter BIL asked me to find them the best rental car rate, and then when they arrived in town the rental wouldn’t accept their cr card so my DH had to drive down to the airport and pay for their rental.
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My siblings and I made a pac, whoever is not hosting the wedding wou,d take care of my mom. It worked out pretty well because we each have 2 kids. Our guests were also very considerate that they took care of themselves. No drama from anyone.
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@ClassicMom98 wishing you the best of times!
Thanks all! I’m just about done. We go home later today - as we have to be up at 3am tomorrow morning. A run down of events and my personal rating of how I felt. In reality everything went off perfectly without a hitch and was so beautifully done. The kids and MOB did a fantastic job. And everybody seemed from my POV to get along. No drama that I could see.
Thursday night dinner - 10/10 -loved this. Just the two families, the minister/spouse (S’ godmother) who charmed EVERYONE - and a few people of the bridal party.
Friday morning rehearsal - 10/10 - S teared up during the vows. Everyone was so lovely
Friday morning brunch - 8/10. Everyone was lovely but social awkwardness was being felt a bit
Rehearsal dinner - 8/10 same as above. But the food was really good! My sister’s BF was actually married there many years ago. Met all the groomsmen and they were awesome.
Welcome party - 6/10 just too many people for me and too loud. I hate when I can’t hear. And I was up way past my bedtime lol
Morning of/hair/makeup - 2/10 I really wish I could have skipped this. I had to be there at 9:30 and to hang out with the girls. I am not a girl. I wound up hating my makeup and redid a lot of it myself. I felt terrible and often left to have a mini meltdown elsewhere in the house. FDIL2 was super super sweet and sat with me a bunch and said she understood too. All the other bridesmaids were sister or essentially sister friends. They are all super nice, but still. For me awkward. Once things got moving around 12-1 (4:00 wedding) things were better
Wedding - 10/10 - so proud of my kids - need I say more? DIL1 was sooooo beautiful. I told her after they made her up that they should use her for ads. At the end of the sessions the hair/makeup peeps DID take pictures of her for their ads. I was like I TOLD YOU SO!
Reception - 8/10. Food was great. People were great. It was just very loud again and hard to hear. Oh - and a very young crowd (for the welcome party too). Almost 1/3 of the 150 people were W&L alums. They got a neat picture with the flag. And at least 2/3 were in their 20s. It was so fantastic to see everyone having fun. My little family came - even my brother/nephew - who are low contact. My sister’s family had great fun. And there was a table from my city. One set of parents who I adore - their younger son is basically a twin my my younger S.
And speaking of younger S -he was best man and what a toast he did. He writes/speaks so so well. Many people commented on it. He gets that from H not me.
After party party - I did not go! I was done done done. H called it the “after the old people go home party.”
Today we help do whatever they tells us we did to do and will head home probably after lunch.
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@ClassicMom98 -sounds like a great weekend overall! Congratulations to all.
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yay!!! it sounds amazing!
I didn’t get makeup done either time – and I’ll admit I felt a little left out the second wedding with DIL2, her sisters, mom, etc all in a special room while I helped set up tables with the groomsmen. But I am not a girly girl either, so it was probably for the best. Glad you had the sense to give yourself meltdown time! I think we have all had private day-of meltdown moments.
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Another person who felt the getting ready was awkward with my son’s wedding
My daughter was in the wedding so I was able to hang out with her. The other bridesmaids were my dil’s friends. The MOB I didn’t know well, she hung out with my dil as she should. But it was awkward that’s for sure.
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W&L alums???! Who went to W&L? That community is the tightest I have ever seen!
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Older S. He’s a little older than yours I believe. Class of 2020 though DIL1 is 2021. She was a tour guide so I wonder if she ever gave CC peeps a tour
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It a bit of a relief to know I’m not the only MOG who felt awkward. They are all lovely people and were inclusive, but it’s just different when you have years of shared history… and I’m just not one to go Gaga over music, flowers, pink, etc.
I read the comments about extended family expecting the host family to provide transportation? That did not even occur to me that someone would ask! Everyone at ours pretty much took care of themselves. The grandparents all drove, though we did have to shuttle some between the events here and there.
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This is what matters. The other stuff is fun and stuff but this is what you all came for, the reason for the season!
You bring about a great point and point of view. Sometimes we have to draw the line at what our social barometer can handle. And that it is totally ok to change your own course to make the mental load manageable for you.
When D1 got married a planned Thursday night get together was a bit much for her. She sort of melted down amongst our small group. It had nothing to do with not being excited and all to do with too many activities and people when she really just wanted to take a break before the scurry of the next couple of days and sit at home with her husband to be!
For me, that whole “all the girls get together in one space and get dressed, do make-up, etc.” was my low point. We did it at our large AIRBNB we had rented which had a whole upstairs perfect for this occasion with 3 or 4 make up stations - it had to do with me feeling like I was running up and down and outside putting out little fires, for the girls or my husband, or a text from a guest or the 2 dogs we brought (not the best idea but it was ok)
We aren’t all built for constant social engagement. And the sooner we realize it and make accommodations, the better!
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D and I went to Macy’s on wedding day to get our makeup done for my S & DIL wedding (free with purchase at Clinique.) DIL and her family/friends did their own makeup at their hotel. I wanted got minimal makeup. D did as well.
Did a “makeup trial” at the same Macy’s some days prior to wedding to be sure it would be dometing I’d be ok with. D approved.
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I was at both of my daughters’ getting ready events. I liked the way they did my hair makeup. I knew their bridesmaids well and they tried to make me feel part of it. D2’s MIL opted out of it, and D1’s MIL didn’t want to do it at first, but did end up liking it.
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I also went to the make up and hair time before DDs wedding. I had arranged breakfast foods because it started early, and charcuterie trays and small sandwiches which arrived before lunch time.
I also knew all of the bridesmaids, and it was fun. There was, however, a small outer area with comfy chairs and tables. I actually had my coffee and breakfast out there, and the girls came out to chat with me (so did the wedding planner who happened to be there too).
I also was easily able to meet the florist, and the band. Our get ready room was upstairs at the wedding venue…and it was really nice. A two room affair, with the outer area as well.
The MIL opted not to come.
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My sister went to the make up session for her son’s wedding. She wasn’t too happy with it because, as the MOG, she had one of the earliest time slots (8 am). There were just a lot of people - bride, 8 bridesmaids, sister of groom (in wedding with the groomsmen), MOB and I think a few more relatives. Wedding wasn’t until 4 but I think they started taking pictures at 1 and then they had to leave for the venue (not far but had to take shuttle buses) at 3.
The only wedding I was in where we did hair (no makeup) we went to the salon, just the bride and 3 bridesmaids. I just had my hair braided. I think it was $5, but it was a long time ago in a small town.
I wasn’t invited to hair and makeup session. The MOB doesn’t wear makeup, so I think they assumed I wouldn’t be interested. I put a little on later. Had I been asked, I think it would have been fun.
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My good friend’s S got married in his now-wife’s hometown in Europe. My friend wanted to get her hair and makeup done, but she wasn’t invited to join the bridal party when they had theirs done. She had no idea where to go in town, and she didn’t speak the language. She ended up asking her DIL-to-be if she could join them, telling them that she would pay for her own. She did end up doing that, but she said that it was really awkward. She is glad she did it, though, because she looked great.
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Like all things wedding, make up should be at the discretion of the user. I wear very little makeup - while they say they can make you look “natural”, “natural” to me would still make me feel like a clown. 
I did my own very light routine for two of my kids weddings so far.
Make up is also a nice choice for those who might like it but not have confidence in their skills to apply it. It is another one of those cha-Ching $$$ parts of a wedding. The clothing, the hair, the nails, the shoes, the make-up. The wedding industry cannot be hurting! 
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