Frankly, I’d just let it all go. I’ve spent too much time over the years caring when my MIL slighted my kids. I finally decided that it’s her loss. We can’t control others’ actions, but we can control our own reactions.
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I get it. If you scroll up, you’ll find I wrote about something similar with H’s side of the family. None of his came either, and in our case it was a 4 hour drive. I know it bothered H a lot - on and off. Sometimes he was fine about it, other times not. But on the weekend of the wedding, we were so busy with everything and happy to see everyone who WAS there, that nobody really thought about who wasn’t.
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@gosmom I would be hurt and sad too. I have a million similar examples from my siblings and in laws, but let me say that at some point, you will decide that carrying the hurt around is more work than you want to do. Whether that is sooner or later is anybody’s guess.
I give you permission to say to your Mom – “you know, it hurt my feelings that you wouldn’t go to the wedding but you went to Europe” and leave it at that. You are entitled to express that disappointment.
The wedding sounds beautiful and I’m sure it will be grand. Best wishes to you and the happy couple (and the lucky people who make the effort to attend)
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I would be hurt, but it mat be a blessing in disguise as managing elderly parents at a wedding does take time and effort. I tried to adopt the attitude of D and SIL which was “then we have more time to spend with the people who come.”
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When my elderly frail mom came to my nephew’s wedding (in a wheelchair), my younger sis and her H made sure to look after her and each of us helped, so that the parents of the groom (my B & SIL) didn’t have to be concerned about her. We were all glad she could attend but not add to the list of things B & SIL had to worry about. We got many nice photos.
I’m sorry for the hurt feelings; they are definitely understandable, especially since none of your family is going to be attending. I hope you and your spouse & the wedding couple can have a great time anyway, celebrating this momentous milestone!
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Happy 10th Anniversary to this thread and to my son and DIL whose wedding (my first offspring marrying) was the impetus for starting this thread!
We have all seen a lot of weddings come and go here on CC!!! 
To many more if there are desiring couples!! 
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Further to my post from 11 days ago… Had lunch with goskid and he asked why my Mom had not rsvp’d (he knew she wasn’t coming, but still thought she’d do the online rsvp) and should he be worried that she didn’t get it. So, had to tell him where she was. “wait…she can go on a cruise…but can’t come to my wedding???” was his comment. I could tell he was hurt, but did try to put on a stoic face. I did point out that I wouldn’t have to worry about them at the wedding, etc., and all the good points made above. Told him we can’t control other’s choices….but we can control how much we are going to celebrate on their big day! He agreed, but I could tell it wasn’t sitting well with him either. C’est la vie…
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DH talked to his best friend from youth days - both his son and daughter are getting married within the next 18 months. Will see if we get any ‘save the date’. They live on the west coast, and most likely the weddings will be somewhere there. The future SIL did ask her dad his consent for the marriage. DH liked that our SIL asked him.
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I’m sorry that your son’s feelings are hurt by his grandmother. And recognize that it always hurts us more when our kids are hurt. Trying to find another bright side, at least you found out far enough in advance that there’s time to process the hurt and move on. Onward and upward! The wedding will be a great joy-filled day.
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This might have been discussed before - what’s typical for a timeframe for wedding invitations? We have the save the date for a wedding at the end of Sept, no invite yet. H tells me we are being invited to a wedding late August - no invite yet though. And we’d have to book flights for the August wedding (only 2 months out).
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We sent save the dates about 8 months before DDs wedding. But her wedding was on a holiday weekend so we thought more notice was better. Invites were sent about 2 1/2 months before the wedding.
If you have a save the date for an August wedding, is it possible they did an evite you didn’t receive? That happened to us. For us, it was a family wedding and we contacted the MOB to ask if we were still invited.
Check your spam folder too…
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My niece is getting married at the end of Aug and we received the invitations in May. She is getting married in Denver (where she grew up) and he is from Maryland/DC. Many guests have to travel, a few internationally, so they needed a lot of lead time.
I’m going to a wedding in Oct and we do not have the invitation yet, just the save the date. For that wedding, there are a few relatives from OOT but not many and they are mostly related to MOG so they are ‘in the loop.’
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We got notice of a wedding a year ahead of time, save the date months ahead of time, but then didn’t get the invitation until 3 weeks ahead of time! And it was a large, fancy wedding. Not sure what happened, but I know it was stressful.
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We have a wedding in mid September and got the save the date almost a year in advance and the invite came last month.
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Much more reasonable timing! We weren’t worried, but I can imagine some friends were wondering what was up.
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We had two wedding invites that were lost in the mail this year. In both cases I knew the MOG and bride well enough to inquire about the invite when I noticed it getting closer to the date (we had received the Save-the-Dates). Both had been sent out months earlier. I don’t know what’s going on with our mail. It could be that they were stuffed in a catalog and didn’t get noticed before being tossed (although the envelopes are typically large and heavy) - so now I am careful to shake any catalogs to see if there is hidden mail.
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If I got the save the date, not received the invite and I need to make travel reservations, I would contact the happy couple or their parents.
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I mentioned somewhere upthread, but we had one invite that was lost in the mail, and we didn’t know we were going to be invited. It was the sister of DIL1. I think roughly 1/2 of them didn’t make it. I think it’s because the invitations were in black envelopes with gold writing. I think the automated machines can’t handle them. I had the same thing happen when I used dark red envelopes for Christmas cards. And we did eventually receive the wedding invitation - months AFTER the wedding! DIL1 made sure to use white envelopes for hers.
I think both kids did/will send out the save the dates 10-12 months ahead of the wedding. (Younger S/FDIL2 are getting ready to send theirs out soon). Invitations went out 3 months beforehand for Older S. Younger S TBD…
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As I mentioned, we didn’t get an evite wedding invitation for our nephew’s wedding. We knew we were invited, so just contacted MOG. The evite got immediately sent, BUT only one of us could RSVP. So we contacted them again.
It turned out that a lot of guests had the same issues. They had to resend all of the evites.
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My niece did evites for Save the Dates, and then you had to fill in your address and the wedding invites were mailed. Of course it was just the invitation, and you had to log on (with a password) to accept. I did get a follow up email in June to RSVP, but I think most people just did it immediately (kids these days!). I know one of my brothers just told my sister (MOB) ‘you just fill it out, I’ll be there. I don’t know how to do all that responding’
The only thing they’ve really registered for is picture frames. They live in a small apt now but someday home to have a home. Until then, they don’t want any more things in the apt.
I think in the next few weeks they’ll be contacting anyone they haven’t heard from. Bride has several friends who are pregnant, so those might be ‘maybe’.
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