<p>But she supposedly concealed the extent of this from him. </p>
<p>Ok. I agree that Nancy was clearly at fault. But I don’t agree that Peter is off the hook. </p>
<p>Well, I don’t know why people don’t blame the killer for the lillings. At what age are parents no longer to blame for the actions of their mentally ill children. And, I agree the dead mother made mistakes. Maybe. the father made mistakes. But, Adam Lanza was the killer.</p>
<p>I blame the killer as well, clearly. But it is possible for more than one person to be responsible for a murder.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>It irritates me that Peter expresses his wish that his son was never born, but doesn’t express a wish that he had taken action to prevent Adam from having access to guns. </p>
<p>Flossy kind of made my point, but really if we are going to say that the parents of teenage mass murderers owe all the sordid details of their lives, why only teenaged killers? Actually, Adam Lanza was 20 according to Wikipedia, but whatever. Do parents of 30 year olds who kill owe the same? For that matter why only mass murderers and not all murderers?</p>
<p>Bay, please note</p>
<p>it seems that the parents who actually lost their precious little children have a different take on what actions need to happen to prevent future tragedies. </p>
<p>Sandy Hook Promise will begin to roll out proven tools and programs for parents that initially focus in the areas of mental wellness, healthy development, community connectedness and gun safety. These tools and programs will be used by parents to help prevent gun violence within their homes, their schools, their communities and ultimately, our nation. Parent Together will also empower and foster local conversations and locally developed solutions to prevent gun violence – true change needs to come from each and every parent.</p>
<p><a href=“http://www2.sandyhookpromise.org/parent_together”>http://www2.sandyhookpromise.org/parent_together</a></p>
<p>“And our job is to make our hearts bigger than the loss now – bigger than the loss,” David says. “And there’s only one way to do that. There’s only one way. You just have to make your decisions out of love.”</p>
<p><a href=“Sandy Hook Parents Francine And David Wheeler On Protecting the Sacred Hole In Your Heart (VIDEO) | HuffPost OWN”>HuffPost - Breaking News, U.S. and World News | HuffPost;
<p>That ^ looks good, but it is not a different take. It is consistent with my opinion that it is important for gun-owning parents of mass murderers to communicate about their experiences. </p>
<p>1or2musicians,
I agree. Why not?</p>
<p>except Bay you stated Peter Lanza should be required to tell victim’s parents why he got divorced, why he wasn’t there. That is not what they want.</p>
<p>Did they say they don’t want to know why he wasn’t there? I missed that. </p>
<p>I had the impression that Adam Lanza lacked the functionality to have been able to obtain the weapons he used to produce his massacre, and he would have gone on feeling secluded and powerless were it not for his mother establishing the conditions in which he gained direct practical knowledge of how to operate assault weapons, and in which he had a personal assault rifle immediately available to him “when he needed to use one”.</p>
<p>Look Bay, you can argue that you speak for them, but the thing is they did say what THEY want. Take a look at Sandy hook promise. Then listen to their personal painful struggles to not become angry and hardened and hateful. To focus on keeping their children’s stories alive.</p>
<p>That is fine. But when a crime is committed it is in the interest of all citizens, not just the victims, to know all the facts. Technically, the parents are not the victims, they were impacted the most by the event, but so was everyone who may be threatened by something similar. I am not trying to speak for the parents, I’m only speaking for myself as a parent and what I would want to know to help protect my children and all children from a similar horrible tragedy. </p>
<p>The truth is there is really not much to learn from the story of a deranged killer. No-one can explain why they kill and no-one can figure out how to prevent them from going off the deep end at some later time if you do head off a tragedy.</p>
<p>How about stepped up school security? </p>
<p>I disagree with you on that one Flossy. We should try to learn as much as we can about why people kill. </p>
<p>We can’t understand crazy. Never will. But, I admittedly have some bias in this area due to watching a zillion doctors prescribe a zillion pills and remain clueless while mentally ill people reeked havoc. So, yeah. Good luck. </p>
<p>Please allow me to give my perspective on this as a student. As a high school student, this is, unfortunately, an all too real scenario that could potentially happen at any school, my school included. Everyone probably thinks, “It’ll never happen to my school,” but for some, it does. I’d be lying if I said that every time I heard about a school shooting, I didn’t think about things such as, “What if that happened at my school? What would I do? Would I die?” </p>
<p>After thinking about Sandy Hook for the past year and 3ish months now, and now after reading this, I really don’t think it was his father’s fault. I think Peter clearly loved his son; saying he wished he hadn’t been born doesn’t show a lack of love, but rather just expressing that many lives would have been saved if Adam hadn’t been born. I also think that divorce or not, Adam was headed down a path of destruction. I’m sure there are plenty of mentally ill kids whose parents are divorced, and you don’t see all of them in the newspaper for wreaking havoc (sorry to be so blunt, but those are the facts). Is there really all the much evidence to suggest that if his parents had remained married, he’d be okay now? Even if somehow that would’ve prevented Sandy Hook, who’s to say something wouldn’t have happened later down the road?</p>
<p>Can anyone honestly say that if their kid killed people, they wouldn’t have wished the kid hadn’t been born? Sure, you’d be thinking, “How could I have prevented this?” But also, “x number of people would be alive if little Johnny/Susie hadn’t been born.” It’s a subconscious, automatic feeling, most likely. I’d feel the same way Peter does if it were my kid.</p>
<p>If I were a victim of a shooting, I would not blame the parents. Maybe if they were abusive to the kid or encouraged it, sure, but not if they were like Peter, who did care about Adam but was pushed away by his son. I feel sorry for Peter. If he’d known beforehand, I’m sure he would’ve taken a different course of action. But he didn’t, so now he’s trying to help prevent something from happening again. </p>
<p>Just my .02 worth.</p>
<p>I think there is some value in learning as much as possible about why people do things like this–although we are a long way from fully understanding and probably never will really. </p>
<p>But Peter Lanza talking to bereaved parents, or sharing things with the general public, is not the best way to go about that. Peter Lanza talking to experts and sharing as much as he can abouthis son’s life would be far more helpful than him offering a public explanation for his divorce or anything else. </p>
<p>Everyone who wants to know the facts needs to be able to find them if we are going to learn anything useful from these killings. Right now we only know as much as Peter is willing to tell us. Perhaps Ryan will share his perspective some day. </p>