<p>Please rank these in the order you think they are most likely to occur sometime in 2010:</p>
<p>I’ll lose 15 lbs.
My 401(k) will go up in value.
I’ll catch somebody younger than I am checking out my butt.
One of my kids will date somebody I actually like.
A car repair will cost less than I think it will.
Grass will have an easier time growing on my lawn, that’s fertilized and watered, than in the cracks of my driveway.
I will go a week without losing the TV remote control.
I won’t read about somebody I know who was a total dufus in high school or college who is now wildly more successful than I am.</p>
<p>Ouch. I hate to set the bar too low. Do you think these are reasonable safeties?</p>
<p>My social life will be such that I won’t break out in a cold sweat if I hear the words "Chris or “Hansen.”</p>
<p>The guy who does my taxes won’t feel compelled to put a bumper sticker on his car that reads “S*** Happens.”</p>
<p>My new neighbor Michael Vick won’t ask me to host his next birthday party at my house.</p>
<p>At the gym, I’ll be able to walk around the men’s locker room in the buff without anybody telling me, “Madam, I think you’re in the wrong locker room.”</p>
<p>OK I’ll bite. Mind you some of this is just wishful thinking. From MOST LIKELY to LEAST</p>
<p>I’ll catch somebody younger than I am checking out my butt.
I will go a week without losing the TV remote control.
One of my kids will date somebody I actually like.
I won’t read about somebody I know who was a total dufus in high school or college who is now wildly more successful than I am.
My 401(k) will go up in value.
Grass will have an easier time growing on my lawn, that’s fertilized and watered, than in the cracks of my driveway.
A car repair will cost less than I think it will.
I’ll lose 15 lbs.</p>
<p>Well, we all used to think that was a safety, but it might be more of a match these days. Jobs are just getting more and more popular these days. </p>
<p>How about–won’t end up wearing a barrel? probably a safety.</p>
<p>Given the type of adult you are, you might want to find more of these:
as they seem to be the best “fit” for your personality. ;)</p>
<p>Also, as Garland noted, according to USNWR rankings, “Not lose my job” is currently rocketing up to the top ten spot and is going to be tough to get into. Make sure you have the right ECs.</p>
<p>Very super-duper high reach: Grass will have an easier time growing on my lawn, that’s fertilized and watered, than in the cracks of my driveway.</p>
<p>Although if that does happen, tell us all how you did it!</p>
<p>Sunnyflorida must already be pretty hot…thinks it’s a safety that somebody will check out his/her caboose while it’s a high reach that those 15 lbs. are coming off.</p>
<p>“I will kill myself trying to lose those fifteen pounds and, instead, mysteriously gain five.”</p>
<p>More safe than that is when you weigh yourself on your scale in your bathroom, then immediately take care of some business in that same room that you’d THINK would make you lighter, then immediately weigh yourself again and you’ve GAINED a couple pounds. How the hell does THAT happen?</p>
<p>well, I gues if you ate beans that produced a gas that was lighter than the gases in normal air, and then you were to eliminate those gases, so to speak, you would be left heavier.</p>
<p>I don’t know but it usually happens on a day when you suddenly have reached the lowest weight in a while. Then you step back on with high hopes and your low weight is GONE. Completely soul crushing.</p>
<p>I have noticed that with similar meals in a day what really affects me is eating at night, stop by 8pm- might be down 1#, eat until 9PM-stay the same; eat after 10PM-up 1#</p>
<p>You silly parents and your obsession with the numbers on the scales. From your kids’ perspectives, we don’t care what you look like. We just want you to love us and support us in everything that we try (and sometimes fail) to do. So go ahead, have pancakes dripping with butter and syrup for breakfast, a big delicious sandwich with fries for lunch, and something decadent for dinner. Let’s go out for ice cream too! Because I can almost guarantee you, few things are more disheartening than listening to your parents gripe about “this is too fattening” or “I have to watch my weight” etc. Nope, in my opinion, you don’t. You’re perfect just the way you are because by far the most important thing about you is that you’re my mom or dad and that you love me no matter what. Guess what! It’s a two way street.</p>
<p>PS: I totally agree though, it’s so mysterious that weighing yourself after losing any material usually results in a larger number! How does that happen???</p>