<p>“I think the waters are much less sexually charged these days.”</p>
<p>Now THAT is where we disagree.</p>
<p>I am not selling kids short. I am selling our culture short.</p>
<p>Though hosting parties, etc., might be a nice idea, we have no evidence that the parents are not already doing this. I don’t really think it’s necessary for the parents to get involved in that way. At my kids’ high school, arranging dates and matchmaking was often a group activity. Just a word to the right person was usually enough to get the ball rolling. I think the daughter would get help from girlfriends in this matter if she asked.</p>
<p>
I don’t think this generation of kids has anything on the generations from the 70s and 80s, but perhaps it’s a geographic thing?</p>
<p>^Probably. Where we live, there is no stigma attached to affluent parents who gift their D’s breast implants on their 17th Birthday.</p>
<p>
Oh. My.</p>
<p>You win!</p>
<p>S is 18 and has only dated one girl. Well, he thought they were dating, but after 2 months of going out several times a week, she told him that they were never really dating and she was just cheating on her boyfriend with him. Ouch.</p>
<p>We told him not to worry about it, that things would be much better at college because there would be more opportunities to hang out casually with girls and get to know them before asking them out. So far, not so good. His social skills aren’t that great, plus he thinks he’s ugly (he’s not). It doesn’t help his ego any that he’s frequently sexiled so his roommate can entertain the flavor of the week. To add insult to injury, the jerk told S that he shouldn’t feel so bad about not having a girlfriend because “I’m used to being able to get any girl I want, and sometimes even I get rejected.”</p>
<p>OH man! Wow. That’s brutal.</p>
<p>I have a daughter who has, for whatever reason, always attracted a great deal of male attention. (she’s shockingly beautiful). But she’s always passed over the quarterback for the geeks who want to talk about comic con and anime and who treat her sweetly. Maybe your sweet son will run into a charmer like her whose got a heart. The sooner the better, imho.</p>
<p>^^^^
I hope so. The only thing on his Christmas list is a girlfriend… 
Unfortunately, girls can smell desperation.</p>
<p>I kind of agree to zooermom and hunt. I also don’t let my 2 daughters date until they are 16, but I tell them this way ahead. But it’s their job to inform whoever they might date and it’s not our job. I know my husband won’t embarass any young man that comes to our house and asking to go on a date with them.</p>
<p>We do host co host parties at our home and certainly allow her to attend others. One of her EC’s is a close knit group that Mr. 9th grade is apart of. He knows she is able to date. But he and everyone else too, but I believe sex is apart of it. Most people know she won’t put out and has no intention of doing so. After our talk last night she seems ok about life without a boyfriend, the fact is she is very mature and self confident and those are two characteristics that are not sought after by most 17/18 year boys.</p>
<p><<it doesn’t=“” help=“” his=“” ego=“” any=“” that=“” he’s=“” frequently=“” sexiled=“” so=“” roommate=“” can=“” entertain=“” the=“” flavor=“” of=“” week.=“”>></it></p>
<p>Sexiled? That’s awesome! My roommate used to do that to do me in college all the time. And then one weekend, I returned late on Sunday night, and my roommate had been there with her boyfriend all weekend, and she still tried to kick me out for one more. I refused, she had a screaming fit heard in three different dorms, and moved back home at the end of the quarter.</p>
<p>I thought the issue was not being forced out explicitly but the fact that your roommate might not care and carries on an activity with you present.</p>
<p>As a 20 year old male with reasonable dating experience in both high school and college, let me throw in my two cents.</p>
<p>A lot of the girls described in this thread sound like ‘plain janes’. Intelligent, athletic, driven, classically beautiful, but rather uninteresting from a dating standpoint. The valedictorian/salutatorian from my graduating class fit that description to a T- they were obviously incredibly smart, obtained varsity letters in 3-4 different sports, and they may not have been Scarlett Johanson and Eva Green but they were knock-outs in a good prom dress. Yet I don’t think they were ever asked out (aside as friendly dates to dances) because all the guys would rather have them as friends instead of girlfriends. As stupid as teenage boys can be, they have a rather uncredited need for imagination that needs to be met in potential dates/significant others. Take a girl, clone her, and differentiate them with some sort of quirky fashion choice/hobby and I know which one I would pick.</p>
<p>So really, I wouldn’t sell the boys short. You may think a teenage boy is turned off by maturity and confidence, but that’s not really the case. Though I will concede, sex is always going to be on their minds. They might not want a girl who is incredibly easy, but if one has the reputation of being a complete prude it’s going to be a turn-off.</p>
<p>Using ‘they’ when talking about teenagers. I feel old now. :[</p>
<p><<a lot=“” of=“” the=“” girls=“” described=“” in=“” this=“” thread=“” sound=“” like=“” ‘plain=“” janes’.=“” intelligent,=“” athletic,=“” driven,=“” classically=“” beautiful,=“” but=“” rather=“” uninteresting=“” from=“” a=“” dating=“” standpoint.=“”>></a></p><a lot=“” of=“” the=“” girls=“” described=“” in=“” this=“” thread=“” sound=“” like=“” ‘plain=“” janes’.=“” intelligent,=“” athletic,=“” driven,=“” classically=“” beautiful,=“” but=“” rather=“” uninteresting=“” from=“” a=“” dating=“” standpoint.=“”>
<p>Having a hard time understanding how someone intelligent, athletic, driven and classically beautiful could be a plain jane, and how you can determine from a post that they are rather uninteresting from a dating standpoint, except maybe to a boy with only one interest. I’ll take my D being a prude as a turnoff anyday. Oh, my D does not look like Scarlett Johanson or whoever Eva Green is, but she’s been told she’s a dead ringer for Camilla Belle, so I imagine she looks better in more than just a prom dress.</p>
</a>
<p>Well first off I said ‘sound like’, so obviously I’m making a passing generalization. I never claimed to be spot on.</p>
<p>But anyways, good qualities are not necessarily interesting qualities. Both need to be represented. I definitely want to date someone who is intelligent, but I also want someone who has imaginative opinions/ideas. For example I have an ex-girlfriend who had an obsession with Jewish boys (rather strange since I’m not Jewish…), constantly knit matching mittens/scarves for herself, and her ideal date was Starbucks, sled ridding, and cuddling up while listening to a hockey game on the radio. I was constantly interested/enamored with the things she did/said/thought. Anecdotally, the ‘plain janes’ I’ve encountered just aren’t as intellectually stimulating. That’s not to say any of the ladies discussed in this thread are like that- I’m just going off of my own experiences. Some girls are just boring- though I think that’s something that can always change, so there’s really no need for them to fret.</p>
<p><<for example=“” i=“” have=“” an=“” ex-girlfriend=“” who=“” had=“” obsession=“” with=“” jewish=“” boys=“” (rather=“” strange=“” since=“” i’m=“” not=“” jewish…),=“” constantly=“” knit=“” matching=“” mittens=“” scarves=“” for=“” herself,=“” and=“” her=“” ideal=“” date=“” was=“” starbucks,=“” sled=“” ridding,=“” cuddling=“” up=“” while=“” listening=“” to=“” a=“” hockey=“” game=“” on=“” the=“” radio.=“” interested=“” enamored=“” things=“” she=“” did=“” said=“” thought.=“” anecdotally,=“” ‘plain=“” janes’=“” i’ve=“” encountered=“” just=“” aren’t=“” as=“” intellectually=“” stimulating.=“”>></for></p>
<p>This is what you call intellectually stimulating??!! Just kidding, to each his own! Thank goodness for people having different tastes or we would all be forced to be the same, huh?</p>
<p>Well let me put it this way- a lot of girls can claim to have a varsity letter in soccer or an A in AP English; a considerably less amount of girls can claim to have nearly an entire wardrobe of matching mitten/scarves they knit themselves. Uniqueness and individuality is attractive.</p>
<p>^^^that was my thought exactly.
Sorry, but high school boys even the studly(or should I say especially )
are pretty boring. While some of my daughters girl friends had long term boyfriends, it didn’t stop them from doing things as a group. For prom my d went with a group , one of her prom pics was of the seven or so young women and the others also included the four young men .</p>
<p>I don’t know if my d was interested in going with A date or if she was asked, she did mention it was more fun going without because then you can dance with whomever you wAnt.
It can be hard in schools where it seems like everyone is paired up, but more school communities are becoming more flexible everyday and no longer do they look like a set from Peggy Sue Gets Married.</p>
<p>I think everyone is unique, but you make a good point, when we pursue our own interests we become more ourselves & more interesting.</p>
<p>Personally, I think my daughter who worked retail after high school for five months so she could have travel through India for four is at least as fascintaing as someone who lettered in soccer ( she was on a rec team, she also played rugby), ,got an A in AP English ( she did get an a in chem, I think she got a B in AP lit) and who knits that would be her sister although she won’t make scarves anymore but she did make her sister some gorgeous nordic patterned mittens.
But perhaps that is because I am her mum & when I ask what she did & how she is she tells me " nothing & fine".</p>
<p>Wow, let’s not criticize who anyone else is as less interesting. My home ec teacher in 8th grade said that “for every teacup there is a saucer” and I think she was right. However, in HS, the dishes in the cupboard might not be a match! (Too small a selection for your fine china or other specialty dish.) Isn’t the selection rather picked over after a few years? Seriously, I do think everyone can find a “boyfriend” if she is open to those who are interested in her. That’s the hard part. It often is not the boy that the girl would prefer. So if she is not interested in whoever is interested in her (and I pretty much guarantee there is even someone in a small group who is - no need to be a beauty either), that is ok. Cast a wider net with outside activities. When I was growing up, kids met people from other nearby schools through a variety of outside activities. </p>
<p>I do think the pressure for sexual activity is very great for HS kids, and in my opinion is a problem for girls especially. I have no easy answers. This is something that has to dealt with using grace and self confidence, and is often more than the social skills of anyone in HS.</p>