<p>With all due respect, this is a school that took a low stats kid after May 1 and has a fraternity scene. Perhaps it’s the OP’s daughter and her crowd that are the atypical studenta and the OP’s read is just through DD?</p>
<p>I really don’t see why it is important for her parents to visit the school. It’s not like they are attending in the fall. A lot of people don’t even visit schools before making a final decision.</p>
<p>To OP: I’d have to ask why you are so invested in this decision? If it was my best friends kid and they asked my opinion, I’d be quite honest because I feel like I’m part of the village raising that child. In this case, you can be straightforward with why your daughter likes this school; what she sees as shortcomings and be done with it. Now, you feel responsible for explaining financial aid packages to them? Perhaps you should have offered to be their college advisor! (sorry for the sarcasm) It’s really not your business; it’s theirs unless they ask you.</p>
<p>abasket…Let me tell you my story. During my senior year of high school, I was accepted to a small, liberal arts college where we were living at the time. In the middle of my senior year, my dad took a job 1,000 miles away in Delaware. At the last minute, I decided to attend the University of Delaware. When I moved in freshman year, it was the first time I had seen the campus. I had only read a brochure!</p>
<p>It was the total opposite of the college I was going to attend. I had a wonderful college experience! I am glad that none of our friends or neighbors attempted to talk me out of it because it wasn’t the right fit for me. Honestly, I believe most kids are pretty adaptable and can “fit” in lot of places.</p>
<p>I do not mean to offend, but is it possible that you now feel that your daughter’s college seems “less exclusive” because this girl, who is not as strong of a student as your daughter, will be attending?</p>
<p>BlueHen, I had a similar experience. I ended up choosing a college impulsively after spending an admitted student’s weekend there and having fun! I was a serious student and was attracted to a lightness in the atmosphere (and good weather) on that particular weekend! Teachers and peers tried to talk me out of it; fortunately, my parents allowed me to give the school a try. It ended up working out great for me on so many levels, and I only wish for the same kind of experience for my kids. Right now, I am in methodical planning mode, working on that “fit” concept for DD, yet wonder if really makes any difference in the outcome. I do know the important thing will be to support her in her choice.</p>
<p>I believe the school in question is Ohio Northern University based on another post by the OP. Just took a quick look at ONU’s website and the information about admitted students does raise questions about fit. If the young woman in question has a 3.2 GPA and 19 ACT she will be starting with some potential academic handicaps, as the 19 ACT composite would put her in the bottom 5-10% of the class. ONU has some strong programs, including pharmacy and engineering, so the competition academically could be tough depending upon her interests; ONU is not comparable to CC.</p>
<p>Thanks Hudson for pointing that out. </p>
<p>I have no alterior motive here other than to try and look out for a friend and dealing with the “what?!” moment at making a choice based on very, very little knowledge. It’s because I am the type of person who worries too much (worried about saying too little, worried about saying too much!) that I wanted to get some other points of view.</p>
<p>abasket: My initial response was- mind your own business. But then I read your post again and it seems the neighbors did seek you out and asked you for your opinion. I think perhaps you should go ahead and give your frank opinion. Imagine if you were in their situation, wouldn’t you want a frank opinion too?</p>
<p>remember, not every student at Ohio Northern is an engineering, business or pharmacy major. Give them an opinion about the SCHOOL. I would steer away from opinions about whether their daughter belongs there or not. I’m not sure any parent wants to hear their friend say “you know, it’s a great school…but it will be too hard for your child.” And no matter how you say it, that is what you will be saying.</p>
<p>They did seek you out so I don’t see anything wrong with sharing facts, but I’d stay away from value judgments.</p>
<p>Having said that, I often overadvise. But my friends know better than to ask my opinion if they don’t want honest answers.</p>
<p>I still wouldn’t say anything. You may have her GPA/SAT wrong. Also, I don’t see why she would be accepted if they thought she would do poorly.</p>
<p>When schools are accepting students after May 1, I do wonder if it is a school that is careful to screen for students who are prepared for the work. But that’s for parents to worry about…or not.</p>
<p>I would let my son attend a college we had not visited. We’re not going to be living there, he is. There is a lot of information available on-line and I would also contact the college directly for any other questions. Our finances are not such that we’ll be able to fly with S should he have several colleges to visit. Of course, we’d prefer for one of us to go with him but it’s not a deal breaker.</p>
<p>“Life is not a straight line”
Hey poetgrl, a good line, indeed :)</p>
<p>
Different set of scores and level of academics, but my daughter’s ACT definitely puts her in the bottom 25% of her college class – and has an excellent college GPA - will graduate at least magna cum laude. Her lowest grade in college in 3 years was a B. Yes, she does have to work at it in college, and no, she didn’t work all that hard in high school. </p>
<p>Yes, the neighbor child could struggle – but this could also be a wonderful, not-to-be-passed-up opportunity for a late bloomer who is now ready to focus more on her studies. I mean… most CC parents would advise students to go to their reaches if they get in – is there a separate rule for “our” kids vs. “the neighbor’s” kid? </p>
<p>One more note: even I don’t know pb]my own kids** all that well. Both my kids ended up doing things in college and beyond that did seem to fit the personalities of the kids I raised. My pampered party-girl went off to volunteer to live on her own and work with refugees in New Delhi; my reclusive, self-absorbed, lazy son ended up becoming a high-energy, tireless political grassroots organizer. </p>
<p>When my daughter was deciding on colleges, it seemed like fate pushed her in a particular direction. She got into a tough school where I didn’t think she had a chance, and that school offered markedly better aid than the college that was her #1 choice. I believe in God, and I believe that things often happen for a reason. So maybe others would call me superstitious, but here’s a girl who was all set to go to one college – her plans fell through – and now the door has been opened for her to attend a different college that is a step up in terms of the potential opportunities opened for her, as well as in terms of academic difficulty. Part of success in life is simply the ability to recognize and seize on the opportunities that come your way.</p>
<p>College is a time for growth. It’s a good time for parents to get out of their own kid’s way and let them pass… I can’t think of one good reason to block the path of somebody else’s kid.</p>
<p>The bottom line is lots of kids make the wrong choice when it comes to where they will attend college. Some do it based on what their parents want them to do or go. Some do it based on who gave them the most in terms of aid. Some do it based on the city where they want to live or how "pretty the dorms are "
I think it is important to have parental support and input. And I , personally was glad to have the input from people with more experience that I had at the time of looking into options and colleges
We got our advice from other parents, family and hs guidance…all of it was appreciated, if not all taken to heart. We had options that were never considered ( i.e. name dropping to guaranty acceptance )
I am not my niece’s or sister’s friend who is trying to " rain on her parade " I am concerned for her future, which happend to go a little deeper with more private things that I do not care to share here.
I guess I come off as a nosy, pushy person. I am one of several in my family who shares this concern , including my children who are very close with their cousin.
The hobby ( without being too descriptive ) alienates her socially and while it is possible to enter into a career in this field, one has to be open to living in areas of the country that would make life difficult for one who has never been open to living away from home.
Oh, and her parents are not comfortable with this college and area either…not just me and other aunts, grandmother and others close to her</p>
<p>
This I agree with. You could ask your neighbors: “Your daughter will be living there for 4 years. Would you buy a house that you’ve never seen, in a neighborhood you’ve never seen? This place will be your daughter’s new home, at a price that rivals many new homes. Don’t you think it might be wise to visit?”</p>
<p>Then you’re putting the question in terms that her parents can understand.</p>
<p>
Nope. Georgetown only gives **need based ** aid. Her best friends have a lot of financial need, which is why they got “huge” aid.</p>
<p><a href=“http://finaid.georgetown.edu/grantug/htm[/url]”>http://finaid.georgetown.edu/grantug/htm</a></p>
<p>"Georgetown Need-Based Scholarships</p>
<p>Each year Georgetown University awards many hundreds of need-based scholarships to eligible undergraduates. Individual awards range in value from $1,000 to more than $45,000 per year, depending on the student’s eligibility for scholarship assistance."</p>
<p>Years ago we had a nice neighbor girl who had been adopted by her grandparents. The grandparents were clueless about the college scene. I’m guessing the girl’s ACT was around 18/19. She went to a pretty weak rural high school, and was obviously not the academic type. She had been in band and wanted to study music education.
This girl was accepted at flagship state u where the average ACT is around 25. She was the only person from her class of about 80 to attend flagship u (4hrs away) and grandparents were proud to see her off.</p>
<p>I was certain she couldn’t cut it. However, I said nothing but “good luck,” and gave her a graduation gift. Sure enough, she was taking, and failing, remedial classes first semester-- and partying. Second semester she flunked out and I saw her back in home town, working at Taco Bell. Her grandparents were furious that they’d wasted $$, but it was none of my business. If your friend’s D survives academically (I have my doubts), good for her. If not, well, it was not your decision and not your problem. Just be positive and let the chips fall where they may. </p>
<p>Remember, overall, half of the people who start college never finish.
Many people attend multiple colleges. (My bro:4 colleges and finished a degree after a stint in the army, H’s bro and 2 sisters each attended 3 different colleges and only one got a degree. . .–yet most of our sibs are happy and successful in spite of their zigzags)</p>
<p>I think schools just want $ if, even if a student only stays for a year. It won’t hurt them to take on a less-qualified student this late in the season.</p>
<p>Just to give you a little background, I want to tell you that I found myself in a similar situation some years ago. I went all out to try to help the student because the mother was a person I very much liked, though more acquaintance than friend. We are now good friends, and I can see how I jumped in with too much enthusiasm, too full of myself and without full information or insight. Actually, all the advice I gave was sound and correct. It just was not what they could deal with at the time given where they were. It is possible to be so right that you are wrong.</p>
<p>Now what I do is give them a brief non emotional pros and cons chart when asked my opinion. Whatever my opinion is, I keep it pretty much out of the picture except as an after thought blandly stated so there are no expectations out there.</p>
<p>It has been very interesting to read all this advice being given to the OP to, essentially, NOT be frank and brutal with the neighbors. On the other hand, most people feel quite comfortable being brutally frank here on this anonymous forum, to total strangers, sometimes with less qualitative information about the prospective student than the OP has about the neighbor’s D. </p>
<p>So next time I am faced with a query from a personal acquaintance about college prospects, perhaps the best answer would be to suggest that they post a query on C/C?</p>