<p>GM- thinking about you and sad for you both. Maybe she can do the projects anyway, get a head start for next year, keep her skills up. Our community college has a stellar art program, maybe there is one near you that she can keep busy at. Poor thing.</p>
<p>GM: sorry to hear this.
Still need to talk to your D positively and make sure she know there are so many opportunities waiting for her, as long as she put her effort on. And it is fine to have a relax period before she jump into anything. Build up her confident and make sure she don’t have high expectation on herself. May your family still have your peace and happiness.
Nothing matters, art degree or other degree.
I heard a kid in Harvard failed and quit and taking that as a big deal and got into mental problem …
I am sorry about mention this here, really want to say is MAKING our KIDS happy and find a way to support them making a living is the key</p>
<p>Gmom when you’ll be back?
there is this funky show at Asia Society, Park Ave 70th street.
will be gone by Jan 2nd.
Your whole family might enjoy if you can make it.
<a href=“http://sites.asiasociety.org/yo****omonara/[/url]”>http://sites.asiasociety.org/yo****omonara/</a></p>
<p>he is one of the most famous neo pop artist from/at Japan. Not flashy as the other one, Takashi Murakami but I think so so well known here.
Every friday after 6 - 9PM is free and I went last night. It was like, fun house with creepy little girls and fiberglass dogs.
What I wanted to know was how he become THAT; internationally known big-o-deal artist by making that crap.
What I knew was he went to one of the best art schools in Japan = can draw / paint / make mad good if he wanted to.
his bio does not really cover details but found Japanese book in the gift shop by him, roughly translates “from small rooms”
in it he drew up diagrams of every apartment rooms he lived in since his gap year in Tokyo up to Germany when he was at Kaelyn’s school, along with what happened then and what he thought about art, people, world around and beyond him.
He is extremely lucky, being right place at the right time, made every exam (somehow) after that, as I said, it is pass pass because getting in such school is the hardest part, and he was good at it.
- right after northern nowhere HS, Initially accepted to some art school in Tokyo vicinity (did not say where, there aren’t many schools so I guess, say, Japan’s Pratt ) for sculpture (In Japan, you apply into the major already) but decided what he wanted to do was to paint
- leave hometown to take gap year in Tokyo (only reason he did this must be going to art cram school)
- get in to say, Japan’s MICA for painting
- disillusioned and unmotivated. cut school, listens to music and paint/draw on his own.
- take trip abroad, fist time in his life for three month in Europe, Asia, burn thru tuition budget
- To cheapen up, take exam for public art school (no equivalent, let’s just say mad hard) and get in. (you can not transfer, have to do it from scratch) continue there for MFA
travel to Germany to see Documenta. get to know people there and contemporary art scene, really first time in his life.
crank up thetis work in a week and somehow graduates. - worked as an art cram school teacher, save money, goes to Germany with no speaking German and accepted to Kunstakademie Düsseldorf ( he mentions it was a freak accident that he got in, so do not recommend others doing the same)
- after foundation(sort), able to score few master classes ( he said, even you are good, if did not improved in the past year, you are not going to be advanced,) can not speak well enuff for crits, sits in the corner. go out to listen music, make friends nonetheless.
- after five years in school, at thetis show (of sort) big shot gallery from Cologne asks to represent him, while he was drinking and away form the show.
- move to Cologne, soon living in the studio with the gallery’s expense but no shower, his roommate, an American artist would strip naked and bathe in the sink in front of him.
- applied to UCLA grad school thru Japanese agency but rejected ( by agency? or by school?) then soon after invited to TEACH at UCLA grad school for three month.
- at UCLA, share room with the other invitee, Takashi Murakami, who had serious lecture job with translator, but Nara-san just need to advice students here there, no lecture no hard English, which he barely spoke. ( we could read and write half (OK, quarter) way because it’s mandatory at least six year taken at middle and HS but speaking is whole new game)
13, back to Germany then back to Japan because his then apartment building were to get tear down and big solo museum show was cooking in Japan that needed physical work. - live and works in edge of Tokyo (need room for big stuff, like those dogs. then to farther (cheaper? bigger?) away to Tochigi prefecture. </p>
<p>He needed the initial art school education to get ahead, but he did not really do his stuff until he went to Germany. It took long time to develop his signature style.
What influenced him the most was latchkey childhood, punk music (Ramones is the most fav) and travel. visited music venues more often than museums.
then when time was ripe, he was ready to learn and do his thing when almost 30 year old.
can not hurry the process. In the end, you do what you like when you like it.
I admire his working class parents must have supported him in some way (did not say in the book) he had older siblings, maybe that helped, too.</p>
<p>Bears’ link doesn’t work because of the asterisks. Substitute s h i t for them, and you’ve got the right site.</p>
<p>Mindless censoring… it reminds me of itunes. I was looking for some Cajun music and they often shorten the word “petite” to 'tite or even, 'tit (that may come out censored). So if you look for “My 'tit fille”, you find, “My 't*t fille”. Very silly. Doesn’t anyone ever check these things?</p>
<p>D is finally home! And of course, she’s instantly off to a friend’s house for a potluck. We are so frazzled this year, and so behind, that our tree is decorated solely with a few candy canes that I wanted to get off the counter. Maybe we’ll have a midnight decorating ceremony tonight.</p>
<p>you beat me G
I haven’t put tree itself up.</p>
<p>so if any words got “shi” stuck with t-sound in it, it will be policed?
that would be many many last and first Japanese names.
now I remember when kaelyn posted in manga thread, he mentioned about that.
Yoshi-tomo Nara is the name, minus -</p>
<p>Just checking in with some need for loving right now. S1 arrived on Friday night just fine on the Amtrak from Providence. We are crazed living in a house packed with the other family’s stuff all around us (they are in Colorado now) while working hard on the new house. We were supposed to pick up our younger son from the airport last night. Well…do you know there was a snow storm in Europe? He made it out of Berlin and was supposed to transfer at Heathrow to NY. But is first flight was diverted to Leeds. Then they put him on a bus to Heathrow…5 hours and no food. By the time he made it to Heathrow the airport was shut down and no one was manning the info desks. Luckily my older son’s friend who had been studying in London and also had a flight scheduled out of London yesterday was also stranded and back at his dorm room. Younger son took a car service and by midnight was with the older boy going out for a burger. The problem is, I can not get through to speak to any one at Virgin Atlantic. It sounds like he won’t be able to get a flight until at least Tuesday. After holding up with all of the stresses I broke this morning. I am in tears and very sad. I miss my son and want him home. I’m sure this is strengthening him. To be able to handle such a thing at 16 is big right? But mom is not doing too well.</p>
<p>Glutenmom…I am so relieved for you and your daughter. It may be hard for a while but there is so much time. Her well being is the most important thing.</p>
<p>mama bear, I know it is wrong thing to say at the moment
at least brits speak English.
could have happend in Germany.</p>
<p>Why do the holidays have to be so hard?! Perhaps it is the anticipation/expectation that everything is supposed to be perfect with harmonious family reunions. But it rarely works that way…life intervenes (and weather too!) and both are pretty messy sometimes. G-mom I hope that the total break in California brings more positive feelings for everyone. Try and live in the moment and having all your girls and family together. The rest can wait until you return from California. Drae–if your son gets really stuck PM me and I can put you in contact with family in the UK (a short distance from London) for a good English xmas but I am hopeful he will be home long before Friday. He is going to be bored hanging out in the airport but he will be fine…tell him to get some english toffees from the duty free (not if he has braces)…memorable.</p>
<p>We have a lovely tradition (that our families hate)–one year H’s family, one year my family, one year off…we are in the off year–NO family visitors, and we stay home. I love my family and my mother is really t-d off that she is not invited but it takes two years to recover from a xmas with her. She is a great visitor on her own but when the whole family is together…all sorts of odd baggage comes out and it is just tense and more tense and often culminates in big family blow out. In terms of my H’s family, I like my in-laws but I end up doing a lot of cooking and cleaning wherever I go because they all grew up with maids and I guess I just slip into the caretaking role with them. Then there is the travel issues in December…last year we barely made it to Puerto Rico with the snow here, H and I went on little honeymoon to small islands and became stranded by bad weather…flights cancelled…ended up on ferry-ride-from-hell to main island with 200 violently sea-sick fellow passengers. Funny now, not so at the time.</p>
<p>Even with just the four of us and no travel there is some bickering from being together so much–H works too much, D is snooty and/or dramatic, S stays up all night and sleeps all day, I nag–still it is going to be a relief to just have our little old issues without those of the extended family. I am going to follow my advice to G-mom and live the moment. I am glad the tree is up and even enjoy when S and D fight about ornament placement (he puts the ugliest up front). In the spirit of giving, I actually went to the mall with D for most of the day yesterday (talk about sacrifice!!!) spent hours looking for makeup sets for one of her friends (I own no makeup so all the ladies who look like zombies tried to turn me into one of them). I did not retreat to barnes and noble but graciously tramped through urban outfitters (NOISY!!), Nordstroms (madhouse), and even agreed to finish up with a starbucks cider at fancy shopping mall with Prada, etc so that D could at least browse and be seen. It was great because we sat so we could watch where all the rich kids go to Santa (small line, very tastefully and expensively dressed children but with same santa phobias as the kids at the regular mall with lots of tears and horrified looks from the babies)…D wondered if those kids ask for LV and Prada? We came home and watched netflix Lost…still on season 1. </p>
<p>BandD will be fascinated to know that S went to see ex gf to go visit a mutual friend who had to withdraw from college who is in rehab. So, with bad leg, exgf had to do most of the driving and he had to stay at her place…hmmm…he says it is surprisingly not awkward…she called yesterday and he was right…it was surprisingly not awkward to chat with her and catch up on her and family.</p>
<p>Short little update – haha, when have I ever done one of those. I’m mulling over a new name for MICA girl… nothing quite works. MICAlosergirl sounds a bit harsh. MICA dropoutgirl maybe – but kinda long? psychoMICAgirl (has a nice ring to it)? MICA psychogirl? MICA sadgirl maybe. maybe just sadgirl. ExArtSchool girl. MICA Failgirl. </p>
<p>She is alternately hyper-grumpy/irritable/hateful and super-depressed not doing anything but lie in bed. She plays Civilization V a lot. I think the cognitive activity is good for her depression, moves neuronal activity from the emotional part of her brain to the cognitive part. I’m monitoring that she’s taking her meds (and from how scatter brain she’s been, I’m highly suspicious that she really wasn’t taking them the way she should when she was at school – hence the breakthrough depression) plus I’m making her take Omega 3 fatty acids – I know she wasn’t eating properly and wasn’t taking her vitamins and calcium supplements like she should have either. I’m trying to get her to get some exercise because that would help too, but she won’t do that.</p>
<p>She either changed the password on her MICA email account or they’ve blocked her – which is stupid since we need to see the instructions for getting room deposit back etc. I’m curious to know if her professors responded to her last email (sent before I knew what the real situation is/was).</p>
<p>My gut feeling is that she is so totally demoralized at this point that she won’t go back to MICA in the fall. I wouldn’t be surprised to see her totally give up on art. She is a gifted musician and when she entered high school she had to choose between music and art… she chose art - -and hasn’t picked up her clarinet since 8th grade. She did play guitar for awhile, but after she stopped lessons at the end of junior year to focus on getting her portfolio together she hasn’t touched the guitar since then. I’m fairly sure she will now convince herself that she is not an artist. It is so sad because she wouldn’t have gotten into RISD, MICA, CIA, Parsons, Pratt, LCAD, Syracuse, and Purchase if she weren’t talented.</p>
<p>For the moment we will just focus on going to California and having a good time while we’re there. Unfortunately for her, there will be awkward moments when the relatives ask how she’s doing and how she likes art school and all that. Nothing much to be done about that. She’ll have to deal with it somehow.</p>
<p>MICA has ordered us to have her moved out this weekend – pretty impossible. So they will let us come on Jan 7 to get her stuff. They wouldn’t let us do it on a weekend, so I guess I’ll be taking another day off work. good thing I have an understanding boss. I’m debating if I should use the money I’m not paying MICA on Jan 3 for a plane ticket for her to come to Hong Kong with me at the end of January. If she’s this depressed, it won’t be any fun for me – she’ll lay in bed in the hotel room – which will drive me crazy. On the other hand, this would be a great experience for her, if she actually took the opportunity to go see/do stuff. She would have to do a large part of the Hong Kong stuff on her own because I will be busy for the three days of the meeting, and the food issue will be a problem… so I guess I have to think about it some more. Her therapist thinks it would not be construed by MICA girl as a ‘reward’ – after all, the therapist says, she’s not six anymore – but it’s a fairly huge expense to do this and I’d like to feel more confident that it just isn’t more wasted $$$.</p>
<p>There’s an outward bound semester of Andes to Appalachia – I could send her on that, but I"m not sure she’s mentally stable enough to handle those kinds of physical demands. Plus I somehow don’t see how a 100 lb kid can carry a 40lb back pack for weeks on end. I’ll have to think of something else.</p>
<p>G-mom: How about Mica wasn’t a good fit for her Girl. Long, but truthful and kinder.</p>
<p>MWGFFH girl then, I like that one!
I managed to get her to bring me her bottles of meds and I counted up the pills that were left. She had both antidepressant prescriptions refilled on the 26th of Nov; there are 29 of one and 27 of the other – and that’s after I ‘know’ she took them this morning. So this would seem to be a case of breakthrough depression – not only was she not eating/sleeping doing what she needed to do, but she wasn’t taking the meds properly either. She was really just not ready to be on her own.</p>
<p>Note to self: trust gut instinct, no matter what.</p>
<p>fammom
we got what you call, idiom? in Japan,
that roughly translate “the dying charcoal get good second burning”
it might happen… drama! drama!!!</p>
<p>Gmom can you sort of tell nosy relative ahead of time to leave her alone? some kids might get offended if you do things behind their back but if it were me I’d appreciate it.
where in Cal? if there is any amazing place she haven’t been, doono, San Diego Zoo? (sorry can’t think anything else) you two can slip out by yourselves and have one to one time, or something that won’t cost you fortune and see if it do any good for her.</p>
<p>I agree with Bears about warning the relatives. You could send an e-mail saying something like, “D found that she wasn’t yet ready for school and we will be rethinking things as a family for a bit. Please respect her privacy at this stressful time.” That should shut down nosy Aunt Millie. And I like a positive new name for Mica girl, something like Girl in Transition, Girl with new Options, Girl on the threshold, Girl with the Mom who is a dedicated baker who now fully trusts her gut! </p>
<p>I agree with the holidays being a tough time. I found myself all weepy today because of the general chaos in our home, and not wanting to set off for a big drive on Tuesday. I wonder if it’s because the children are slowly leaving the nest and we know that everything is changing. My Dad is getting older, and I don’t think I’ll be able to see him this year. It’s cold and I never planted those three rudbekias and that one holly. They probably won’t survive the winter in their pots. Sigh.</p>
<p>I think we’re all in an emotional family transition and can easily feel fragile. I will try to take fammom’s advice and live in the present, enjoy the company I’m with, and see the holiday’s through the eyes of my niece and nephew who are still Santa believers. And for living in the present, I will take a few cues from my dogs, but for now, I’ll head to bed.</p>
<p>G
what do you got? do tell!! or did you in somewhere? my guess is big, huff huff drip drop wagwagwag kind.
let’s see…
switters got corgi? and something else
redbug got special sort of irish setter
drae got some rescued one in training
Gmom got papillon and yellow lab, used to have basset
we had german shepherd mix that passed away six or so years ago (sob) and taking care of this french bull every summer
anyone else living in the moment?</p>
<p>I would love big, huff huff dogs but we have little, yippy Malteses because we all have allergies. One was running around full speed on my bed last night to wake me up since he needed to go out. 3:30 AM! They’re usually easier to live with than that.</p>
<p>G-mom…the suggested initial moniker is good but perhaps something more traditional–D1…despite the difficulties with girls I do sometimes wish that I could do D1 and D2 and you even get D3. I always wanted more kids but I am grateful to have what I have. Now I also wanted dogs but H strongly believes that animals should not live in the house with humans. In Ecuador we had a cat that lived outside (weather is fine all the time) but then we came to the states and I convinced him that the children were too attached to leave the cat…she is still with us, absolutely hates my husband (mutual), going on 15…two years after we moved here he asked “when does the cat die?” since in Ecuador their lifespans are extremely curtailed (dogs, disease,cars). He is horrified that we will have the cat after the kids have left. She is actually very easy going and only bites him on the toe when he leaves his slippers off.</p>
<p>Ah the longevity of indoor cats. My previous two lived until 15 and 20. The 20 year old was frankly rasputin. When she finally was put down, it was due to cancer, heart disease, kidney failure and something else. meanest animal ever, but I loved her dearly.</p>
<p>My now-cat gets to go outdoors, because she insists, and has a much fuller life for it, but I am engaging in magical thinking because I have decided it wont shorten her life. </p>
<p>We have three dogs, all rescues. Corgi mix, cattle-dog mix, and poodle terrier mix. I just bought really nice new living room furniture, and the corgi got a smack on his bottom for the first time ever because I decided that at least the couch (of the couch/loveseat combo) would remain dog free. Animals, I love them, but seriously they are the reason we cant have nice things…</p>
<p>Here is a Kurt Vonnegut quote about dogs, from the book Slapstick…</p>
<p>"I have had some experiences with love, or think I have, anyway, although the ones I have liked best could easily be described as “common decency.” I treated somebody well for a little while, or maybe even for a tremendously long time, and that person treated me well in turn. Love need not have had anything to do with it.</p>
<p>Also: I cannot distinguish between the love I have for people and the love I have for dogs.</p>
<p>When a child, and not watching comedians on film or listening to comedians on the radio, I used to spend a lot of time rolling around on rugs with uncritically affectionate dogs we had.</p>
<p>And I still do a lot of that. The dogs become tired and confused and embarrassed long before I do. I could to on forever.</p>
<p>Hi ho."</p>
<p>We just got dog #2, a cairn terrier (Toto)/schnauzer mix named Tobie. My D’s friend was in the process of moving and couldn’t take him to their temporary home until they found someplace permanent, so we were fostering him. After almost 2 months, they found a house to rent, and we figured he’d go back, but the mom said the deposit ($350, non-refundable) to have the dog was not in the budget and did I know of anyone looking for a dog? So, needless to say, he’s ours now. The girl was heartbroken but half expected it - they’ve had 3 dogs since I’ve known them, each one the mom really didn’t want. I wasn’t really surprised at all - as a matter of fact my H and I talked about it in case it became a possibility. She’s at least happy we have him.</p>