<p>Re: class size - D attended a small non-religious private middle school (continuation of her grade school), only 6 kids in her class. Middle school kids have a way of being exceptionally brutal in excluding other kids - very hard to break through that dynamic. One of D’s best friends was the outcast in middle school - it was painful to watch, and hard to stop - even D did not want to admit that her behavior joining the “in” crowd was hurtful to her friend (she didn’t see it until she experienced it herself later on). A kid who gets to be the one outcast in a small class may have a really rough time - no one else in class to join with. Larger class size = more options for friends. Observe carefully the class dynamic before you consider placing your son in the small class school.
Re: Catholic school - Don’t know about middle school, but D has attended a Lasallian high school and has absolutely flourished. We are a non-religious family, and had initial reservations about the religion classes, liturgies, daily prayers, etc. D (and parents) have learned much respect for Catholic religion and values (never thought I would say that, proud to say it now - tolerance is so much better than distrust!). Really haven’t felt any undue pressure or indoctrination. Religion classes have helped D examine her own morals and values, and taught her tolerance and respect for others whose values and beliefs differ from her own. Academics are top-notch, teachers are talented and caring, and the school really individualizes instruction and continuously monitors student progress to meet and challenge each kid at their academic level. School also offers something extracurricular for every kind of kid (arts, athletics, clubs, etc.) so if a kid isn’t engaged, he/she isn’t trying. Couldn’t be happier with the decision - D’s happiness and success is the best evidence. Look for the happiness of the students at the Catholic school, and ask parents about the degree to which the faculty/staff understand young adolescents and care about the kids.</p>
<p>A couple of comments:</p>
<p>Jews, with so many scientists among us, do not teach creationism. When my Jewish (half by the way, technically), children went to a Jewish day school yes, the opening of the bible was discussed. And then the theoretical issue was discussed: what is God, and how did He or She set in motion the universe? Very clearly scientifically based.</p>
<p>The question of Who’s a Jew has defined many social discourses. For Orthodox Jews the mother must be the conduit of the Jewish religion. In the conservative, reform or reconstionist branches it is: If you want to be Jewish…you are.</p>
<p>And then, there was the Nazi rule: if you had 1/32 Jewish blood, you are/were a Jew.</p>
<p>This place is like the Bible Belt. Actually, the public school is practically a religious school itself. There are a lot of pentacostals. Even at the public school, my daughter was told that she was going to hell by her peers, and a male friend tried doggedly to convert her and called me the anti-Christ for “failing her”. She was agnostic before my husband and I were. She just never believed. And she went through a period where she “tried to believe” because she wanted this boy so badly, but ultimately couldn’t believe. So actually, my son will probably get this Pentacostal indoctrination at some point at the public school.</p>
<p>Enriching his curriculum would be fine if I didn’t feel that they were wasting 6.5 hours of his day. I bought Indian vedic math and Singapore math with the best of intentions, but it was terrible to try to fit it in with his homework and 10 hours of gymnastics and dance training a week. But at least math and spelling were workable. Science? I don’t know how I can make up for the fact that the school is cutting science to a half of a year. They said that they are making it 80 minute, but still, that means that he finishes science in December of 6th grade, and gets no science until 7th grade. They are doing it to try to get the kids to pass the state reading test, which is apparently a problem at the school. That is unacceptable to me.</p>
<p>In that Lutheran School, he’d be 1 of 10 in the whole grade. I’m not sure why it’s so small. It is one of the highest ranked private schools around here and despite their creationism, their children have aced the NYS standardized tests for years. Unlike the other schools, I did meet a former student while visiting, who is now a Senior at a Catholic school. She did seem very nice, said that she was interested in Engineering, had taken Advanced Math, and had been very happy as a student there. I asked her point blank if, as a future scientist, if she saw any conflicts in having been taught creationism, now that she is in another environment. She said something like “Well, we know…” and then drifted off the topic. Also asked piont blank if she felt there was a lot of religion, and she did not feel it was too much. But of course, her mother works in the office, so…</p>
<p>About the post about the dance and gymnastics. Absolutely right I am concerned. He’s been in gymnastics since 1st grade. The boys from his school have always felt that the gymnastics is cool and are jealous of his handsprings. He’s a level 5 competitive gymnast and at the school field day, he places near the top. He’s friends with a huge (very tall and stocky) boy that plays football, and he said to me that my son was the strongest boy in the 4th grade. So I think that he gets a lot of respect, and he is actually very well muscular and built for a boy in the 25th percentile for height. He is also funny and very handsome 
and I’ve found girls hanging on my porch and little girls are yelling “Hi” to him all of the time. So he’s not reclusive. I think that most of them know that he dances, and he took flack in the 3rd grade, but now the kids don’t say anything and neither does he.</p>
<p>On the other hand, he’s been with the same group of kids at the same school for many years. Now, with middle school, the whole district will come together. Yes, I am afraid that some new and very large boys will hear that my son dances and decide to make my son their pinata. On the one hand, he has never been accosted. If accosted, I’m not sure that he’d physically protect himself, even though I think that he is probably very, very strong for his size due to his physical training. I think that he’d “run and tell” or be very argumentative. I found out last year that when he was younger, he told a few kids on the bus that his mother would sue their parents if they hurt him. I didn’t even tell him to say that! </p>
<p>Yes, about the Jewishness from the Mother, I should have picked that up. Even if Jewish (and I have no idea how), since my great-grandfather married a French woman, so his children would not have been considered to be Jewish. I guess I am thinking strictly by actual blood heritage. I read several interfaith sites while googling “not Jewish” and “day school”, and read many posts about angry and hurt men and their children were were told that the children were “not Jews” because the father married a non-Jewish woman. I was reading that even where the non-Jew mother is actively involved in Jewish life and has agreed to raise the children as Jews, that the children are not considered to be Jewish by anyone but Reform Jews without a conversion of the children. That seems harsh, and what I read kind of confused me. On the one hand, I read that Jewishness is not an “ethnicity” or about “blood” in that there are Jews of all races. If children are born to a Jewish mother who is Jewish by birth and no other way, they are Jews. If children are born to a mother who is not Jewish by birth, but raises them as Jews, they are not Jews because of birth… </p>
<p>So basically men have a strong disincentive to marry non-Jewish women. I think that maybe other than Native Americans, this is the only group that I’ve heard of matrilineal descent. I’ve had to study Islam for my work, and they believe the complete opposite – that being Muslim comes from the Father. Hence, women cannot marry non-Muslims, but men can. In my experience with Christianity, women always defer to the religion of the father.</p>
<p>The reasoning behind matrilineal determination of Jewishness is pretty simple, and not intended to be harsh–in ancient times it was always clear which woman gave birth to a child, but never certain who fathered it.</p>
<p>One of my D’s friends has a Jewish father, non-Jewish mother. Her mother is not an active practitioner of the Catholic faith in which she was raised and is an active member of their Conservative synagogue, even though she has never converted. The children attended Jewish religious school and converted (I don’t believe it was a terribly onerous process) prior to their respective Bar and Bat Mitzvahs.</p>
<p>We have a highly regarded Jewish day school in our town. When considering options for our kids, we did not feel comfortable sending them there, even though we are Jewish, because our level of observance is fairly low, and we did not like the inherent contradiction of the school’s teaching customs and beliefs that we would not be fully endorsing at home (example, keeping Kosher). But I guess if we hadn’t been Jewish, the dichotomy between school and home would have been easier for our kids to parse.</p>
<h1>40 – “dyslexic” is NOT “stupid” – and it does NOT mean that your son will need remedial classes, etc. It means that he has a learning pattern that makes the mechanics of reading more difficult for him, while he is particularly strong in other areas. You might also want to look at this page about visual-spatial learners from the Gifted Development web site – [Visual-Spatial</a> Learners](<a href=“http://www.gifteddevelopment.com/Visual_Spatial_Learner/vsl.htm]Visual-Spatial”>http://www.gifteddevelopment.com/Visual_Spatial_Learner/vsl.htm)</h1>
<p>The additional info you’ve posted simply confirms the <em>learning pattern</em> – especially with the familial history – but again, you need to think of it as a pattern, not some sort of disease or disability. Your son has obviously coped well and many highly capable people who excel in all sorts of fields are dyslexic. The lawyer David Boies is one example - here is another list of extremely high achieving dyslexics:
[Successful</a> Careers: The Secrets of Adults with Dyslexia](<a href=“http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:QVlSnvdYuhUJ:www.insightpsychological.com/Library/Successful%2520Careers%2520Dyslexia.doc+rosalie+fink+dyslexia&cd=2&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us]Successful”>http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:QVlSnvdYuhUJ:www.insightpsychological.com/Library/Successful%2520Careers%2520Dyslexia.doc+rosalie+fink+dyslexia&cd=2&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us)</p>
<p>I just mentioned it because dyslexics often have difficulty with learning a new language, especially the reading/writing part – and your son would be entering a school and being exposed to a language that his classmates might have been studying since the early grades, so you would want to consider the possibility that your son could have difficulty with language study. (It’s not a certainty – but it is something you might want to inquire more about, in terms of whether the Jewish Day School would be willing to provide extra support or accommodations if your son runs into problems there.).</p>
<p>My own son is dyslexic and studied Hebrew for purposes of his bar mitzvah – and he did very well, but I arranged for private tutoring and part of the understanding was that it was no-pressure – he would just go as far as he could with his haftorah portion. That is, if he could read one sentence… fine. If he could manage a paragraph, fine. It turned out that he studied hard and did very well, doing his reading smoothly and without hesitation, and of course I was gushing and crying like a baby the whole time. My son also studied Japanese for a year in college and did well, getting an A – and he did fine on standardized tests, etc. So its nothing to freak out about or get upset about – its just something to be aware of when you are making educational choices. </p>
<p>A lot really depends on the school philosophy and teaching style. So you could ask the Jewish school – what would they do if your son had difficulty picking up the Hebrew? How much of the school day is taught in Hebrew, and would your son be given support and accommodations as needed until he caught up with his classmates. (Again… most of them have been taught Hebrew for years, so your son is already at a disadvantage). </p>
<p>I really do feel for you because I don’t see any of the options you have as being great fits for your son. It would be really cool if your district had a public arts magnet or a math/science magnet for middle schoolers – since those are areas of strengths for your son – but that’s just dreaming, right?</p>
<p>I think the Jewish day school may be a worse fit than you see fit. Frankly, whether or not he’s dyslexic, it sounds like his reading isn’t strong and you may really want to consider whether or not putting him in a bilingual curriculum (which is a substantial part of the day) will detract from the necessary work he needs to do in English. Also, Jewish day schools usually run longer into the afternoon than secular schools to accommodate both curriculums. Will that leave your son with enough time to pursue his artistic interests? Remember that he will have secular homework, religious homework and will likely need extra tutoring to learn the Hebrew that the other kids have been learning for years. </p>
<p>I don’t see any perfect solutions. If he were my son, I would lean toward Waldorf with the Catholic school being second choice. Honestly, the Catholic school may provide the best environment for your son academically since you said it’s a strong school academically. Most academic Catholic schools have the kids do strong, college-prep reading and writing and teach grammar in middle school. The Waldorf school may be a gentler environment of him and a place where his art will be more likely to flourish.</p>
<p>Calmom, I am very appreciative of what you pointed me to. It never occurred to me, because I really thought that my son was being stubborn and lazy with his reading and homework. This was reinforced by his 3rd grade teacher. She complained that he was given an hour to do a test, and at 45 minutes, had not answered any questions. Then she came over and yelled at him that he had 15 minutes. She aid that he then proceeded to get most of them right within 15 minutes, leading her to believe that he was obstinate. Another time, she complained that he was supposed to write about his favorite toy, and he didn’t write anything on the paper. I asked him what his favorite toy was, and he said “video games”. So I said “Why didn’t your write that?” and he said “Because I couldn’t spell video games.” That teacher was really hard on him, but I told him that I’d rather he write and spell it wrong than do nothing. It took work, but his 4th grade teacher was really nice, and helped him get over this refusal to try if he fears failure. He’s not a failing student, but I simply could not understand how he can be this puzzle and building prodigy and then not be able to handle what appears to be a simple school assignment. Now I can see that there is likely a reason. After going though that quiz, there were things that I never would have associated with dyslexia. </p>
<p>My husband’s problems with spelling are very severe. My husband did take some pre-college classes recently, and his ability to put together an essay is rather good. He has no trouble understanding what he reads. My husband can do math, but really only to beginning fractions. I was not kidding about Candyland, the public school really did to my husband when he was a child in the 70s. I think that is criminal. Ironically, my husband says that his biggest regret is that he never went to college to be a science teacher. So he liked science too. He always watches the discovery channel.</p>
<p>I have often found that whenever there is some “disability”, there is some greater compensation elsewhere. My daughter had a very terrible 2nd grade experience with a teacher. My daughter fought going to school, and when I met the teacher, I found out why. Her teacher told me to my face that my daughter ignored her directions and had no common sense. I had no success in moving her from that teacher, and the teacher failed her. She had very delayed speech, and appeared to be a “behavior problem”. I took her to get a speech evaluation on my own and found out that she had an auditory processing disorder, and couldn’t retain what she hear, and couldn’t hear with background noise. After we knew what was wrong, I advocated to let her go to the 3rd grade, and she was never a problem. Despite that problem, tests showed that she was 2 grade levels ahead in word recognition and could retain about 95% of what she saw. Reading comprehension and math word problems were rough for her. She didn’t make the cut in 6th grade when kids were tracked into advanced science and math. But at around puberty, there was a learning acceleration, and she won the spelling bee. Then she got into 9th grade and algebra was too easy, and wanted to move up so that she could get calculus in Senior year. But they said “Too bad, we made those decisions in the 6th grade.” So she was stuck. Despite some very dire predictions that I was given when she was a little girl, she was the only kid to make it into SUNY Geneseo from her school. She credits being in chorus and playing the flute with helping her hearing. Her problem is definitely neurological. After puberty, we noticed that when her hormones change, her speech begins to degrade.</p>
<p>I never considered a problem in my son, because unlike his sister, he was chatting up a storm at a young age. He was very physically weak and sensitive though as an infant.</p>
<p>I’d run away from that Lutheran school. Creationism instead of evolution? You might as well go somewhere that teaches “thunder is caused when God punches the Earth.”</p>
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<p>Nope, this is wrong information.</p>
<p>Re post #47 – what happened to to your husband in the 70’s is wrong, but would not be how things would be handled now. Being dyslexic doesn’t mean that a kid goes to special ed in any event – they only go to special ed if they have a learning disability AND are falling behind. Most kids who are intellectually gifted + dyslexic (and there are a lot of them) don’t get identified or offered services because they are too smart to fall behind, but their dyslexia is a barrier that sometimes prevents them from excelling. When I realized that my son was dyslexic, I got help on my own, outside the school system - AND I requested that my son be considered for the school’s gifted program. (He was). I hadn’t considered that before because my son was barely able to read at the end of 6th grade – Dr. Seuss books were a struggle – so it hadn’t occurred to me that the non-reader could be “gifted”. Fortunately my son’s school had a flexible standard for admission to the gifted program. Also, my son was always good in math, but he didn’t do well on standardized tests because of the the reading problem – once that was addressed, his test scores went way up.</p>
<p>So again – don’t take it as bad news, just take it as one more piece of info for understanding your son. It sounds like he has managed to cope pretty well - certainly he’s doing better than my son was at the same age – but all of the other stuff, like teachers saying he is lazy, are about the same. I do think that the dance and gymnastics probably helps – part of dyslexia is a left/right hemisphere coordination issue, which is why programs like Brain Gym are sometimes recommended. (Your son does NOT need that sort of balance/coordination program now – he’s gotten way, way past that with the gymnastics training – my point is simply that even if you and he didn’t know it, that’s probably a big factor in why he hasn’t had too much in the way of academic problems). </p>
<p>Also – please take that online test with a grain of salt – it is REALLY good as a tool for educating people who take the assessment about common characteristics of dyslexia. But it isn’t a substitute for full scale diagnostic evaluations – and you only need to have your son evaluated IF and WHEN there is a problem. There are many, many people who have only moderate symptoms of dyslexia, and they do pretty well in life and only are diagnosed later on, usually when one of their kids are diagnosed and then they realize why they struggled in some areas. </p>
<p>You don’t need another label – but its useful to think about your son’s learning style when making school choices. If it wasn’t for the whole creation science thing I’d think that the Lutheran school would be a good fit… but the whole reason you are considering leaving the public school is that they’ve cut the science curriculum. Half a year of science is BETTER than junk science — I mean, maybe your son would be better off if you kept him in the public school but used the money you would have paid for private school to send him to a good science-focused summer camp program instead. </p>
<p>The problem with the teaching of creation science is not just that its bad science, it is that they can’t be teaching scientific reasoning skills and at the same time pass off that bunk. You say you are agnostic – I was agnostic, or maybe even an athiest, at age 6 – as soon as I started asking all of those questions based on my emerging factual knowledge. I couldn’t figure out where Adams’ son’s wives came from, and I didn’t think that anyone could possibly live 900 years. It was only when was older and came to appreciate and understand metaphor that some semblance of faith and spirituality could become part of my life again. </p>
<p>Obviously a 6th grader is going to ask those same questions. How is the teacher going to respond? The only way to foist that stuff on a 12 year old is to discourage the kids in the class from thinking about or asking the questions that are the hallmark of good science.</p>
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<p>The standard for Reform Judaism is a combination of 2 factors: either parent is Jewish, and the child is raised Jewish. This makes Reform congregations a welcoming place for interfaith marriages, since the focus is more on how the child is raised.</p>
<p>But if neither parent is Jewish, I don’t think the child would be recognized as Jewish without a formal conversion – though in a Reform congregation I don’t see how it would matter very much. Anyone who wants to attend services is going to be welcome to sit in – no one is asking who is a real Jew and who isn’t. I attended a Passover seder last spring at a Reform congregation and there were non-Jews sitting at our table – they just wanted to learn more about the religion and be part of the celebration, and they were as welcome as anyone else. </p>
<p>It becomes an issue in situations such as marriage, as an orthodox rabbi would not perform an interfaith marriage. (But a Reform rabbi usually would). The only time my kids ever had to come up with any sort of Jewish creds was when my d. went to Israel with Birthright – and I doubt that she had to do much more than fill out a form.</p>
<p>I assumed that there was Jewish blood somewhere in the family. One of my daughter’s best friends has one Jewish grandparent and the kids were raised Jewish and are actively Jewish. I did not mean that one could just say, Hey, I’m Jewish and that’s it. Although I imagine that, at certain synagogues, if you join…</p>
<p>But I have to say that we know a young person who wemt on Birthright, Irish Catholic, who was going to convert. She went, and yes, converted.</p>
<p>The reason that some day schools keep kosher (called community day schools) is so that members of all branches can attend the school and be comfortable. At home one does what the family wants to do. We have never kept kosher (for 5 generations in the US) but I am very aware that some people do. </p>
<p>Please note: I am not trying to convert anyone to anything. As a Jewish woman who is married to someone who was raised in a different religion (and who’s children are Jewish by birth and choice), there are a lot of misconceptions about, “Who’s a Jew?”
and what does and doesn’t make a Jew. And since our children attended, for several years, a Jewish day school I am aware of the positives and the challenges of attending a religious school.</p>
<p>I think the reason the Jewish school would be happy to have your son is that, more and more, they are taking Jewish children from families where the level of practice is not as amped up as it is during the school hours. In that sense, there’s always teaching of customs and holidays at the school that exceeds what’s going on at home. He’ll have classmates who are as unfamiliar with some of the objects displayed as he is, even though their homes are Jewish. </p>
<p>If you think of going on to the Jewish school, I’d treat it more as if you’re overseas for several years, attending a school in another culture. That’s interesting and exciting. Seems to me it’s the responsibility of the school that’s ready to admit a nonJewish student to explain to you how they plan to accommodate your son. For example, if the day is divided into Hebrew/Judaic studies in the mornings and secular studies in afternoons, then perhaps (for 3 years, if your son is willing and open to it) he could sit with a somewhat younger grade for Hebrew/Judaics, but join his agemates for all the secular studies. They might have a tutor for him in his first semester on a pull-out basis just to learn to decode and read the Hebrew letters in a crash-course way that an older child can get faster than a 2nd or 3rd grader. Or excuse him from all Hebrew classes first semester, have him language-tutored at the school privately rather than waste his time with same-age classmates in Hebrew or sit with 2nd/3rd graders all year. In 2nd grade a child might work on one Hebrew letter weekly, while at his age he might master a new letter each day (there are 22 consonants and around 12 vowels), so move much faster as an “older beginner” in the language. </p>
<p>It varies, school by school. In some, the Judaics (holidays, stories and customs) are taught in English with a smattering of Hebrew words. Bible will be taught line-by-line in Hebrew by Grade 6 in most places, with opportunity to read in a translated, phrase-by-phrase Hebrew/English text in most schools. If they don’t have that kind of textbook, ask/insist that you buy one for him to use instead of the all-Hebrew. Keeping up with vocabulary is the hard part. Perhaps the school might say he should do beginner Hebrew by tutor for a while; be with agemates for Judaics and all the secular subjects; and struggle through the Bible (with lots of Hebrew) and not be graded on it; just catch the concepts and discussion of ethics and such behind the stories. </p>
<p>What they won’t do is try to make him Jewish while he’s there. If you can level with him that he’s sort of a “cultural tourist” here for a few years it could be very interesting. The critical thinking approach to the texts you will enjoy (as an attorney), but you really need to know how much Hebrew is actually spoken in the Judaic/Bible studies classes. If it’s mostly in English he might be able to do okay. But it’s up to the school to tell you how they fit in a student who starts late. They often find Jewish students beginning a Hebrew Day school in 3rd, 4th or 5th grade. Also, some exit after 5th grade for the public schools if parents perceive the music, sports and other extracurricular offerings are stronger. </p>
<p>My guess is you will not find rude talk about dance for boys at a Jewish school; the arts are prized. Gymnastics are admired. Short height is also no source of shame among Jews. So don’t worry there. A friendly, handsome, muscular, short boy would fit right in to most Jewish schools I’ve seen. You might find some mamas who don’t want their daughters to “go out” with your son but do you really want him dating as a preteen, anyway? </p>
<p>Wearing a kippa is easy and inclusive; nonJews wear them when in a synagogue just to show respect. I would, however, ask to talk to the principal or dean of religious studies to see if he can get excused from having to put on a prayer shawl or phyllacteries after age l3. That’s the equivalent, religiiously, of taking communiion when you’re not Catholic and it’s a lot of pressure. HOWEVER, if he views it as cultural tourism to do that during daily prayer in 7th and 8th grade, he might not mind and would rather not make waves. IF there are Reform students in the school they might not require them to wear the headgear (phyllacteries)either, so it could be that the boys are in mixed attire after age 13. </p>
<p>Honestly I think he’d end up being more happy, honest and content if he just says he’s curious about Jewish tradition and likes to be at the Jewish school. Start with that statement to others (from you and him) and see how it unfolds for him. If that’s new for the school, TELL your son now that it’s “new for the school”, that so he’s not surprised when others are surprised. </p>
<p>We’re reform but sent our son to a Hebrew Day school that was very orthodox because of terrible public schools in a small rural town. For garments, they taught him how to put on everything, and for example gave him an undershirt with fringes in 4th grade, but didn’t require him to wear it. Their philosophy was to “make it available to him” (their words) but “not force it.” Each school has a different philosophy and the practice of admitting nonJews to Jewish schools is new, but the responsibility is theirs to think about how it will work for him. A good talk with the dean of the school is in order. </p>
<p>The food part of their program sounds very do-able and again is in place because many students at the schools today don’t practice kashrut at home, so the school is making rules that will work for everybody while on the campus. </p>
<p>The prayers will probably take 40 minutes per school day. By 6th grade, the rest of the class will be buzzing away in a fluent Hebrew. There are many approaches for him during that time. The poster above who teaches in a Hebrew day school is correct that it will be nearly impossible to catch up in time to keep up with their rapid pace. However, he might be taught a few key lines by heart, or be allowed to hold the book standing, but think his own thoughts at that time. </p>
<p>The assemblies about all the Jewish holidays will probably take exactly the same amount of time as all the public school time spent on Christmas, Easter, Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, etc. It’s about a wash, in terms of time spent on holidays, but the holidays will all be different. Again, think as if you’re in a foreign country for 3 years.</p>
<p>Because we had terrible public schools, we made our middle-school decisions based on where our kids would not get bullied or hurt. That seemed more important than the academic quality to us. We enriched from home a lot (like most parents on this board).
In high school, when there were no more private schools in our (former) town, we sent the two older students to public high schools and spent the saved money on afterschool lessons, summer enrichment programs, family travel and more. </p>
<p>There’s no perfect school in your situation, and I feel for you. The question is which set of problems do you feel most like coping with? Best wishes.</p>
<p>Just a note: at the community day school our kids attended the prayers were before and after meals, 1 period of Hebrew per day, 1 period of Judaica study which was, depending on year, history, archeology, Jewish law…And the kids learned at a deeper level every year what each holiday was, why it is celebrated, and the history/prayers reasons behind the holiday.</p>
<p>The only real challenge for our particular family was a kindergarten program where each child took home the stuffed bear for the weekend. The bear was sent home according to the alphabet. We happened to get the bear…the weekend that we were going to get our (shudder) holiday tree. (Yes, a tree that honored my husband’s background). Rather than have our daughter explain the tree, we left the bear home. The teacher heard about it…asked our daughter to share our tradition of honoring her father’s tradition and her father. Lovely teachable moment…</p>
<p>To the OP, there are a number of websites and resources for parents of what is referred to as “twice gifted” or “twice exceptional” children – gifted children who have some type of learning disability or challenge. Here is one good resource, there are many.</p>
<p>[Hoagies</a>’ Gifted: Twice Exceptional](<a href=“http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/twice_exceptional.htm]Hoagies”>Twice Exceptional | Hoagies' Gifted)</p>
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<p>Birthright is open to converts – (*Eligible individuals are those recognized as Jewish by the Jewish community or by one of the recognized denominations of Judaism; or if either parent is Jewish AND the applicant does not actively practice another religion. *) – I didn’t mean to suggest otherwise – I was just using that as the one example I could think of where someone asked one of my kids how she came to be Jewish. I suppose if either one wanted to emigrate to Israel they would also have to document their Jewishness in some way.</p>
<p>2collegewego made a really good point that shouldn’t get lost about the school day in Jewish day schools. It is long. The school where I used to teach didn’t dismiss until almost 4:00; other day schools in the area ran even longer.</p>
<p>That leaves fewer hours for gymnastics and dance every week. On top of that, there will be homework not only for secular subjects, but also for Judaics. And some of that homework will involve dense text.</p>
<p>Wow, OP, I really wish there were a clear right answer to your son’s problem!</p>
<p>How large is each grade at these schools? Ten kids is WAY too small for this age. And Waldorf is terrific for the younger grades, but after that, maybe, maybe not.</p>
<p>What sort of extracurricular activities do the schools have? What electives are there? What about different levels of math? Our 7th grade had at least 4 math levels. How many AP courses in the high school?</p>
<p>In my experience, Catholics are way more casual when it comes to religion than other faiths. And they usually have schools that have critical mass (no pun intended.)</p>
<p>Your son should spend at least a half day at each school. And the clothing thing shouldn’t be an issue. Many kids who thought they hated it ended up liking uniforms. Keeps kids focused on the person, not the clothes, like who has the latest fad. Even though he doesn’t care about that, some kids that age do, and that affects everyone.</p>
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<p>The Catholic middle school and high school in our area have many non-catholic students. Catholic lower schools tend to have more catholic students than not but by middle school and high school the demand for these schools tend to lessen (for a lot of reasons - seems to be true for most private schools) and you end up with a much more diverse student body (religion-wise). At least that is the way it is in my city.</p>
<p>Wouldn’t that be true of any religious school? And a rigorous courseload is not endemic to religious schools. Our area is graced by many prep schools. They are HIGHLY competitive scholastic schools. Yes, they give huge amounts of homework. But they strongly encourage ecs. In fact, several of these schools have sent kids, boys and girls, to major colleges on athletic scholarships. Hours of competition and training are required everyday. The schools include Stanford, Harvard, UVA etc. I believe their philosophy (the prep schools) is that tv and hanging out can wait for the weekend.</p>