<p>About the Waldorf-- the only thing that my son said about the tour was that he did like the idea of the woodworking, but then said that making a wooden spoon would be too easy. They progress to a chair by 8th grade. He said that he wants to make a chair, not a spoon. </p>
<p>I was forthcoming at every school. I told both the teacher and principal that I’m concerned that with the program being writing-reliant, that my son would have difficulty. When we all came together at the end, I did ask my son if he could explain why he does not like to write. He kind of put his head down, and said “Sometimes I don’t know what to say.” The principal did not seem put off, she said that this was not unusual. I came home to a message from the principal that they would love my son as a student and they “have no concerns”.</p>
<p>About the Waldorf – the one positive for this school as well, unlike the others, is that they’ve started a high school. By the time my son would be ready, it would have all grades. So hypothetically, he could stay at the same place. However, if my son has a full blown learning disability, I do not think that they have services. In fact, I think I recall their materials saying that they cannot accommodate such children.</p>
<p>I spoke to both the science and math teachers at the Jewish school and told them that my son loves these topics, but is very visual-spatial, and will probably struggle with writing components. Both teachers said that they also are like that. In fact, the math teacher said that she had a very hard time with the multiplication facts and finally forced herself to memorize them, and it was not easy. The Jewish school DOES have AIS (academic intervention services). </p>
<p>As far as public schooling, I am completely a product of public schools. I never attended a private school. I went to a grammar school in a working class Catholic neighborhood. I took an entrance exam to get into an inner city public high school with excellent standards. I eventually attended business and law school at the public university. Compared to the peers that I grew up with, and every peer in my local schools, I was pretty smart. 3.98 average. HOWEVER, once I got to University, I will say this – my Jewish friend from Long Island was heads and tails ahead of me. He came from a white collar family, and he walked into the University already with college credits. Also was able to finish in 1 hour after a night of partying what took me several hours to do sober. I had another friend, came over on a boat from Vietnam at 12, English not being his first language. No matter, he was able to outperform me on our accounting tests and in less time. I really didn’t get it, but now I do. The US is woefully deficient in math and science education. If I keep my son in this public school, which does not even come close to offering the quality of education that my public schools offered, he will be woefully deficient. I’ve been doing all of that supplementing – summer engineering camps, buying Indian Vedic Math and Singapore math and tutoring him afterschool. Buying the Well-Trained Mind and getting him recommended books, which he actually did sit down and read. Supplementing is one thing, teaching him myself because the school stinks is another. I just can’t keep this up. I know that he can learn. What are the schools doing with him for 6.5 hours a day? I don’t know, should I throw away both institutional and outside scholarships for my son at excellent schools to continue this? For what purpose?</p>
<p>As far as socio-economic – ironically, because my husband was laid off, and I work in public service, we financially are modest enough to qualify for this scholarship at this time. However, when it comes to actual educational/social status, I am one of only a handful of professionals here. My values are very different from the kids and people here. My son is not different from the peers at these schools or at his activities. Those parents seem to share my values, religion or not. </p>
<p>Diversity is non-existent. This area is 99% white and 98% Bible pounding Christian (the 2% would be my husband and I). </p>
<p>Even the supposedly educated don’t seem to care about the kids. Once I complained about the free lunch being all white bread products and transfats. I said that the original purpose of that lunch was to be the one healthy meal that a poor child got. I said it’s also a learning opportunity for the child to learn to eat well. The person in charge said that she had a degree in sports administration and “What’s the problem with white bread?” and “What are transfats?” She said whole grain is too much. I suggested getting rid of the Fritos and substituting a real sandwich for the Poptart with a piece of fruit. Next thing I knew, there was a rumor flying around that I’m “the lady who says everything should be organic”. My neighbor told me…</p>
<p>Hypothetically, if my son is learning disabled, as far as the role of the public school, the districts are notorious for failing to afford a free and appropriate public education. I was the attorney for a special ed attorney who fights districts who refuse to give kids’ services. I had to go sue a district for him to get his fees paid. </p>
<p>This district also does nothing for gifted children, other than offering the ability to go into higher math and science in the 7th grade. However, they’ve done such a good job of confusing children with Everyday Math, I wonder who will make it there.</p>
<p>As to the possible dyslexia – I am not persuaded that it is the case. if you look at websites regarding “visual-spatial” learner, the “symptoms” are almost identical to dyslexia.</p>
<p>This describes my son very well: </p>
<p>" 1. Does your child think mainly in pictures instead of in words?
2. Is your child good at solving puzzles or mazes?
3. Does your child like to build with LEGOs, K’Nex, blocks, etc.?
4. Does your child often lose track of time?
5. Does your child know things without being able to tell how or why?
6. Does your child remember how to get to places visited only once?
7. Can your child feel what others are feeling?
8. Does your child remember what is seen and forget what is heard?
9. Does your child solve problems in unusual ways?
10. Does your child have a vivid imagination?
11. Is your child talented in music, dance, art or drama?
12. Can your child visualize objects from different perspectives?
13. Is your child organizationally challenged?
14. Does your child love playing on the computer?
15. Is your child terrible at spelling?
16. Does your child like taking things apart to see how they work?
17. Does your child have at least one visual-spatial parent?"</p>
<p>If my son had dyslexia, I think that it would be difficult for him to read music. I observe my son’s violin lessons. He can read the notes.</p>
<p>My son had an undiagnosed visual problem until the 4th grade which can explain his dislike of reading. In 4th grade, the eye doctor prescribed glasses. At that time, he would sometimes repeat sentences and lose track of where he was. He was in a room with both a regular teacher and a special ed teacher. We discussed vision therapy, but he gave my son an index card to put under each line, and the problem was solved. In 5th grade, my son has stopped wearing glasses. At school, he read stories on a computer program and answered questions about the reading. According to that program, my son raised his reading lexile 200 points on his own, without reading a real book at home. His reading lexile at the end of 5th grade was that of an above average 5th grader. His “reading problem” is an aversion to reading. If you don’t read, you aren’t going to be able to spell or write, simple as that.</p>
<p>My son scored a 94 on his 4th grade state science test. I made him read the chapter in the book and write out the end of chapter answers. So when forced to actually sit down and read, and write out answers, like I did in college, he apparently can do it, and retain it. The problem is my having to nag him to do it.</p>
<p>My son had a physical this week, which included reading an eye chart, and he did it without glasses.</p>
<p>My son’s handwriting is beautiful. </p>
<p>When my son was in the 2nd grade, I found his math worksheets complete and correct, but then had difficulty explaining how he got there. He was then chastised with big red pen comments “show your work!” and this, of course, did nothing to help him show his work, but instead made him feel like a failure. I think that I mentioned it, but in the 4th grade, my son scored over a 90 on his state math test after only a week of being tutored by me. Probably because I know many ways of how to portray math.</p>
<p>I’ve had to think a lot bout my feelings regarding religion here. Here’s the fact – when I was growing up, I took comfort in believing that there was a deity looking out for me. I never appreciated the gender bias. Even when I turned away from the Catholic Church, I still believed for a time, and it gave me comfort when I was alone. My husband and I married in a church and I really believed that we’d be “one” and see each other in Heaven. When I was really sick once, it was the Lord’s Prayer that gave me something to focus on when I was in pain.</p>
<p>Too many bad things happened and my belief whittled. However, it was the intervention of another person during a conversation that was the death knell for my religious beliefs. We talked of the soul, and I argued that nobody knows for sure if the essence of our personality survives the leaving of our neural networks. I argued, but the funny thing is that after I got off the phone, I kept arguing. And I argued myself right out of a belief in God. So now I am agnostic.</p>
<p>Ok, so perhaps I now have “clarity” where before I was clouded by religion and superstition. But now maybe I’ll never see my husband when I die. Or anyone else that I loved. Where I used to have someone in my head to talk to when I was alone and suffering, now I just have my own voice.</p>
<p>If I were to be totally honest, I don’t feel that I was done service by that conversation. I think that maybe I would have been happier if I had kept my belief in God. My husband believes in God, just not organized religion.</p>
<p>When it comes down to it, I share values with these people at the schools, I just lack belief. If I send my child to a religious school, and he finds a belief that I cannot give him, if he finds a community of people who will welcome him, would it be a bad thing necessarily? Maybe difficult or different, but isn’t it our job to take care of him? And maybe give him something that we cannot give him ourselves? Maybe it’s the right thing to do, to ensure that my child never feels alone when he is alone. </p>
<p>Maybe it can be a good thing for a child to acquire some religion, despite us? If not by us, what religion? Well, I can’t sanction Catholicism. Nor any other sect that sanctions oppression or hurting others.</p>
<p>Ah well, my mind is going over so much right now… Any thoughts are welcome.</p>