My younger D will be 25 this year and broke up 9 months ago with her bf of 3 years. He was a nice guy, but not the one for D. Before him she had another long term bf so basically since she was 17 she has been in relationships. She is having a hard time with dating. She does not want to use any dating apps, but is finding it difficult to meet new people. She went on a few dates with a guy she met through a friend she has known pretty much all her life and that didn’t pan out. She also had a crush on a coworker (different department than her), but he seems to be a bit dense when it comes to women. I think it has been good for her to be on her own the past nine months and I think she has grown as a person. Navigating the dating scene today seems very daunting to someone like me who has been with my H for the past 35 years!
Our 26-year-old son would love to date, but with his serious mental illness, I don’t think he ever will. That is hard for me.
I have been in and out of relationships since I was 15 and generally always had a special guy or another until I was married at 29.
Times have changed though and the Internet has really changed things a great deal in the over 30 years since I was dating. Two of my three married nieces met their BFs whom they married online. My nephew met this fiancé online. S met his GF online. Another niece met her last two BFs online.
I do know some folks meet after meeting in person or thru mutual friends as well. Nursing broken hearts has always been tough though. Thinking positive thoughts for all the singles looking for good relationships.
Actually, I think all relationships can teach us how to build better, stronger, healthier relationships, if we are open to learning from them and growing in them.
My soon to be 29 year old son is such a kind, hardworking etc professional but he hasn’t had a long-term committed relationship. I think his quiet nature (and probably some insecurity) gets in his way. It is hard – wish I could find a nice young woman who would be a good match for him.
My turning 30 in March kid hasn’t even had a date that I know of. 
My dh’s brother didn’t get married until he was in his mid-30’s. He’d had long term girl friends off and on - we’re quite happy he didn’t end up with any of them.
H’s best friend had his son set up by a coworker with her D. They are happily married and have a son. My sister was set up by another sister with her boss. They have been happily married for about a decade now. Matches CAN and still do happen the old fashioned way sometimes.
My sons are nowhere near old enough to consider marriage but I feel as if I will be terrified when and if they do get married. 50% of all marriages end in divorce and many others are unhappy. Typically (at least among my divorced friends) men get to pay child support and have a limited schedule to see their children. They don’t get to really parent because they aren’t present 24/7 and are often hated by their children’s mother (yes I know their are great divorces…please don’t school me on them). I would be crushed if one of my sons ended up living this type of a life. Therefore, I’m in no hurry and I think I will be cautious if they go that direction one day.
Right now I don’t care about having grandchildren. I’ve raised my children and loved it. That’s enough for me.
My best friend had been single well into her forties after a brief marriage in her early twenties. She met a guy while on a hiking tour… they have been together for at least 15 years now and are building a lake house in the Midwest. At first, we were suspicious because a single, never married guy of that age typically has some skeletons hidden in his closet… but he is a really, really nice guy. Stereotypical engineer too shy to date.
^ Ha! My BIL was in his 40’s and never married when he met my sister. Nice guy, no skeletons, good social skills, etc. My sister was in her mid 30’s. Married 20 years now, 2 kids, very happy.
I live in the DC area and it’s not considered odd at all for a person to be unmarried and over 30. It’s different among my friends in the midwest. I think it’s a lot harder when your same age peers are getting married and you are not.
Just curious: knowing those statistics, were you terrified when you got married?
@ams5796 – menloparkmom and I thought about it, but our kids now live 2,000 miles apart. @menloparkmom daughter will be done with her Phd in 2 years and will be looking for jobs on both coasts… if your son is still single, let’s revisit that idea 
My 29 y/o lawyer D is single and has had just a couple of serious relationships. The last one ended over a year ago. She’s on the dating sites and seems to talk to a lot of guys but, so far, the ones she meets IRL have gone nowhere. She also has an unpredictable schedule and works very long hours. I know she’d like to meet someone, but her role model is her SIL. She met my S when she was 33 (my S was 30), married at 36 and just had their first baby a week before her 37th birthday. My friends and I often talk about how our kids are on a very different timetable than we were. I am also a lawyer, but I was married at 26 and had 3 kids by the time I was 33. Here, in the NYC area, there are many, many single men and women in their late twenties and early thirties, all of whom still hope to meet someone and get married, someday. I just want her to be happy.
I met H when I was firmly established I my career as an attorney. H was in his early 40s and I was late 20s. We’ve been married now 30+ years. My sibs and parents are still with original partners, as are most of my closest friends.
It isn’t uncommon for professionals to meet and marry when they’re further along in their careers and a bit older. Life is long—it’s worth finding a partner that is compatible instead of just “settling.” It takes time and work to have a good relationship. Weddings we’ve been attending have couples that are in late 20s, early 30s.
I don’t want grandchildren, which is part of why I’m fine with my kids not being married at this point- not that you have to be married to have a child…
@MomofWildChild - can you share why you don’t want grandchildren?
I’m not that enamored by children (loved my own- well, most of the time), I am afraid of the world they would be born into, and raising my own was scary enough. I would just worry too much. Neither of my kids has any interest in parenting- my daughter is very firm on not wanting children and I can’t imagine my son raising kids. I truly have absolutely no desire- not even a twinge. I love my grand cats, though.
28yo S broke up with his gf 5 months ago (he said it was mutual). They’d been dating for 1.5 yrs and it was his first long-term relationship. As far as we know, he hasn’t tried the dating sites. I’m not sure if he’s just not ready to get out there again at this point, but it probably doesn’t help that he’s still friends with the ex and spends most of his free time with her and her friends. He’s in grad school part-time, but I don’t know how much he’s socializing or even conversing with his classmates.
You might not feel this way if you see the actual relationship between one of your sons and his partner.
My own marriage has not been particularly good, and both my husband and I had divorced parents. My mother was an expert at divorce; she did it three times. I know a lot about how marriages can go wrong.
And yet, when my daughter got married about a year and a half ago, I was fine with it.
By the time she got married, she was 28 and the man who is now her husband was a few weeks short of 31. They had been a couple for five years and had lived together for three of those years. They had signed leases together, bought a car together, and (a few months before their wedding) bought a house together. They had moved together to unfamiliar parts of the country twice. They had gone on trips together, coped with health problems, and worked out finances – even during an awkward period when one was a graduate student and the other was working. They are obviously compatible, and their greatest strength is that they figure out things as a team. They are masters of the win-win solution to problems (and I have no idea where she learned this).
I used to think that I would be extremely worried about either of my kids getting married, but when the time actually came, the only thing I was worried about was the wedding. I never had any doubts about the marriage. I still don’t.
@Magnetron there are some nice, kind, interesting single guys in their 30’s…who have never been married.
Ask me how I know!
I didn’t have any doubts about my daughter’s marriage, either, and yet they got divorced. In retrospect, there might have been a red flag or two, but nothing I would have mentioned. (His divorced parents were both very screwed up people…)