<p>I have been involved in many, many catered affairs at restaurants, hotels and other venues. NONE of them have ever had a tip jar and if there was one at an event that I hosted, I would want to know and fired the people involved & replaced them on the spot. Good that you wrote up a review & I would consider asking the CC company to withhold a portion of the payment as posted above, IF there is a CC company involved, but that would leave you embroiled with this caterer a LOT longer while this is sorted out.</p>
<p>Caterers & servers we have used over the years always tack on 18% gratuity and we do NOT have to add anything more. It is bad for your good nature and generosity to be abused by this boorish caterer. Not sure why they’ve been in business for 16-17 years with their awful attitude, but perhaps they shouldn’t continue to be so.</p>
<p>I’ve played/attended many a private party in many different venues. I’ve sometimes seen a tip jar, sometimes not. But for this thread, I don’t think my personal experience is relevant. I also don’t think whether it is common or not, or whether it is tacky or not is relevant. In this instance, it isn’t a matter of opinion. It is specifically addressed by the contract, just as I am sure the date, time, cost, etc., and such were spelled out. If the contract says “No tip jar” then it doesn’t matter who put it out. If it says “Staff cannot initiate a tip jar” that has an entirely different meaning, if it says “no tips” that would have a different meaning still.</p>
<p>Agree with younghoss. It doesn’t appear that this caterer honors the terms of its own contract. Would definitely highlight this in any review of that organization. It is WRONG not to honor the terms of the contract that YOU provide and sign. Both parties have the option to recommend changes to the contract, but then are bound by it, especially whomever drafted the contract.</p>
<p>Would NOT want to do business with these sleazy folks again and wonder whether they may have new, lax management or some significant change that accounts for their terrible attitude vs. the glowing reviews.</p>
<p>I completely agree. I expect you to give me the out-the-door price. I don’t recall tipping any of the service professionals for my kids’ bar / bat mitzvah (florist, photographer, caterer). They issued a bill for their services and that was that. IMO, a catering bill isn’t akin to getting a bill at a restaurant where it’s understood you’ll tip x% over. Include the service charge if it’s expected as a line item.</p>
<p>I wonder if a clue in this case may be the fact that the caterer is well known in the corporate world (does events for a major sports team etc). Could that explain their failure to grasp differing protocol when it comes to private parties? If they do lots of weddings, you wouldn’t think so.</p>
<p>But they do lots of weddings. I’ve been turning this over in my mind. Something’s off here - I feel as if there’s a piece of the puzzle I can’t see that’s entirely unrelated to our event. Maybe the company is in financial trouble and jobs are being cut. Maybe our event coordinator is in the middle of some personal crisis and her supervisor handled the second call to rescue her from the negative disgruntled lady. There has to be a reason for two supposed professionals to blow off a customer with legitimate concerns.</p>
<p>I’ve gotta admit that my mean side would be gratified if it turned out that they’ve been embezzling or stealing liquor or something, and my questions shed light on it … but probably not. Pardon my pettiness. :D</p>
<p>I swear that I conducted my phone calls and emails professionally. I wasn’t accusatory and insulting, unlike the supervisor. I did laugh out loud (would have done a spit take if I’d had a coffee going) when the “customer-created tip jar” scenario was first floated, and said “that didn’t happen!” in an incredulous tone. I’m only human.</p>
<p>I will update you folks when (and if) the owner contacts me.</p>
<p>Hope you’re writing a letter directly to the owner about all of this AND asking for a refund or if you paid by charge, disputing the charge. You should get a total credit for the 1 hour they weren’t serving drinks as well as the tips you gave them, since they chose to violate the contract by having a tip bowl. Would also complain to Better Business Bureau and Office of Consumer Protection.</p>
<p>I agree you should contact your credit card company and dispute the charge. I would not make excuses for their poor response to your issues. Some people are just plain incompetent and don’t know the first thing about providing good customer service</p>
<p>My husband plays in a wedding band about twenty four times a year. I asked him about a tip jar at the bar, and he said it was not at all unusual. When I told him that you had a contract specifically not allowing it, he pointed out that even if a (very strange) guest put one out there, then it should have been the coordinators job to remove it. I cannot believe that your event coordinator would not just admit making a mistake.</p>
<p>One note about Yelp – their system “hides” some reviews, often those that go against the predominant ratings. We had an absolutely terrible service experience at a cafe – incredibly long time to take orders, wrong food brought to the table after another very long wait, and then the same exact wrong food brought back a second time by a waitress who clearly didn’t care at all. I wrote up a review on Yelp, only to find that it is hidden, along with several other uncomplimentary reviews. </p>
Exactly! My daughter was the person who signed the contract, and she had to INITIAL the clause about the tip jar. The supervisor’s scenario was that a member of the wedding party had requested that a tip jar be placed front and center. The only member of the wedding party who should have been able to do that was the person who signed the contract. It wasn’t hard to find her at the wedding - she was wearing a big white dress.</p>
<p>The actual language in the contract reads:
</p>
<p>I did review the difference between discreet and discrete in my letter to the owners, though it seems clear now that they most certainly did not mean discreet.</p>
<p>My compliments to frazzled for noticing the difference in discreet; 2 words people mix up all the time.
And once again, katiep is right on the money; what is common(or not) about tip jars has absolutely no bearing in this case- because in advance of this party tip jars were specificallty addressed.</p>
<p>There is another possibility about why XCatering doesn’t seem to care- too big to care. This company prob sees a tip jar as pretty trivial compared to meeting the date, time, menu, and so many other things that need to be right at a wedding recep.
Some here are picturing an idealized notion of a “good” company with “good” people running it smartly and courteously, to maximize customer service. Plenty of companies feel they are doing well enough as things are, and just consider stepping on a few toes a normal part of doing business. Look at GE, helping to make rules that will close some of their American factories to re-locate out of the U.S. Look at Bank of America, being the first to slap an extra fee for their debit cards. What some businesses “should do” in theory is often different than what really happens. Unfortunate, but often true.</p>
<p>frazzled - does the caterer have a Facebook page? I’d post my complaint there. I don’t know much about Twitter, but I think I’d figure out how to tweet about it, too.</p>
<p>That’s odd language to me. “Viewable” tip jars are prohibited - implying it’s ok if they are hidden behind the cocktail napkins? Are they trying to say “Obvious tip jars are prohibited, but if they are discreet, then that’s how it goes”?</p>
<p>Great suggestion, patsmom, but they apparently don’t have a Facebook page. Actually, I don’t either (I’m not trying to sell anything, though). </p>
<p>My definition of “viewable” is pretty broad. If something isn’t viewable, people can’t see it, so they don’t know it’s there. I wouldn’t have minded if the bartenders had a jar under the bar to hold all those discreet/discrete tips that wedding guests apprently just can’t restrain themselves from pressing on the bar staff.</p>
<p>The respondents here are sophisticated, worldly people (right? :)). You’d think that the issue of the tip jar would be related to the sophistication level of the clients or the staff. But this is a caterer in a major metropolitan area, with a major league sports team as a client, and a gallery of photos from many elegant events, large and small. They are not cheap. It’s interesting to me that they needed a clause in the contract to prevent “viewable” tip jars, indicating that they get why people find them objectionable - but then apparently have disregarded the clause at every event for the past 16 /17 years.</p>
<p>On this issue, I can partly disagree with Frazzled(post 76). First, I strongly agree that “no tip jars” means just that, because it was included in the contract. I do not think that acceptability of this tip jar is dependent on the sophistication of the guests. Are we to believe a bartender is somehow less desrving of a tip if he serves a single-malt scotch, but more deserving if he serves a domestic beer in a bottle?
Forgive me for repeating, but the acceptability of this particular tip jar at this particular event is specifically addressed by the contract. No other factor is relevant. No personal preferences are relevant. It is not influenced by what is common, by what is typical, by how much is being spent, by what kind of booze is being served, by what some feel looks tacky, or by how well-dressed the guests are.</p>
<p>Imo, if Frazzled wants to publicly complain(reviews, Facebook, etc.) that Frazzled stick to the facts of failure to comply with contract rather than use the “our guests were too sophisticated to be burdened by a tip jar” approach. One perspective conveys that the customer was disappointed the caterer/caterer’s staff ignored an aspect of the contract, and how indifferent the caterer was when it was brought to their attention; the other perspective hints the client feels far superior to the caterer/caterer’s staff and that might be a poorer reflection on the reviewer rather than the caterer.</p>
<p>Ooops ooops ooops. I haven’t managed to communicate what I mean. I was trying to sort out why so many sophisticated posters here have never even seen or heard of a tip jar at a wedding, while this caterer, which presents itself as being professional and is a well-established concern, doesn’t understand why it’s such a big deal even when the contract forbids it, since they routinely overlook them. Back a few pages I mentioned that the coordinator said “of course you tip your bartender” (“at a wedding” being implied). Very few people who’ve responded to this thread would agree. I was just trying to connect the disconnect in my head. I don’t think that sophistication/tackiness is related to income or the amount spent. I’m sorry for failing to communicate that.
Of course not, and I never meant to imply it. Wow, no wonder my conversation with the caterers went so badly! Believe me, younghoss, I am of the people. I tip generously. I do not think I am superior to anyone. Let’s just pretend I never even said the S word.</p>
<p>Thank you for clarifying for me.
I don’t know how many receptions, class reunions, bachelor-bachelorette parties posters have attended here, but I suspect given my biz experience, I have attended far more than most individuals, much like the caterer involved here. I have that advantage, plus I have the perspective from one who has worked them for years in addition to only attending them.
I can’t tell you how many times at the end of an evening the wedding family asked me about my dinner. What dinner? I wasn’t a guest, and no one invited me to partake, so I didn’t eat.
I bring that true example up not to demonstrate some hosts might be perceived as rude, or just uncaring. I bring it up because guests see a party, and see things at a party differently than those “behind the bar”(broadly). Often times they only think of their guests and don’t give much thought to “the help” unless there is a problem. As a dj, I thought it my job to look at things, including who gets tips and how. As discussed before, I got a good rate of pay that I negotiated, but some tender or server might only be making minimum wage. Others that have posted here may not have seen a tip jar at other places simply because they weren’t looking for a tip jar. Unless there is something particularly noteworthy about such a small thing most guests don’t notice it, and most don’t remember it. Haven’t we all experienced a drive to work so uneventful, that when we get there we don’t remember the drive? But if we had a flat tire on a rainy morning, we darn sure remember the drive. With that in mind, some may be saying there wasn’t one when really they just don’t remember seeing one because it was so ordinary.
I refer you to my post 72 for another idea on why the caterer may not care.</p>