<p>See? this is what I’m talking about. 
(not to reopen a can of worms.)</p>
<p>My stance still stands:
</p>
<p>Goodness, to think of the trouble that will ensue if she has a girl!</p>
<p>
Will she let her daughter have a baby book? I mean…pictures with just her and her father would be such a terrible reminder.</p>
<p>But if, in this particular case (and so many posters agree and seem to be of a similar mindset, which is a rarity on cc)… ummm… maybe she needs therapy…</p>
<p>Is group remote diagnosis in the DSM? (just askin’).</p>
<p>(and, as has been previously mentioned, who’re we to know she hasn’t, and that this might be related to therapy?)</p>
<p>But sheesh, why am I questioning the collective we-know-better?</p>
<p>Happy fourth of July to all!</p>
<p>If she has been in therapy, there is still work to be done!</p>
<p>Actually, it would be great if these strong feelings would come out during routine pre-marital counseling with their clergy person. If they’ve already done that, one possibility would be for them to schedule another appointment to talk about it. Maybe it would be helpful.</p>
<p>Zoosermom, that would be something your D could suggest to her friend. It would seem less challenging and/or judgmental than saying “seek therapy.”</p>
<p>
That might work if there is pre-marital counseling with their clergy person. There may not be -
- Pre-marital counseling is not always “routine”
- They may not be getting married by clergy.</p>
<p>I may well be wrong, but it was my impression that they were having a standard Catholic wedding. I thought that that included some required counseling…don’t they call it “pre-Cana” or something like that?</p>
<p>No need to start a new thread, so…</p>
<p>We’re invited to a ‘black tie optional’ wedding in August–elegant hotel, young professional couple, longtime family friends. My best guess is that other young professionals may go with long dresses, but I’m wondering if I can wear a something already in my closet. Thinking about this one.</p>
<p>[url=<a href=“Women's Clothing & Apparel | Talbots”>Women's Clothing & Apparel | Talbots]Talbots</a> - Matelass</p>
<p>I haven’t seen people in long dresses at black tie optional. For women, I think the norm is a cocktail dress.</p>
<p>To dress up that particular dress to black tie optional, I think you’d best go with a significant necklace. To me, pearls would be too daytime because of the color (although I would love the dress with pearls). Something sparkly would be good. Maybe gold, but silver would take it daytime again. A bracelet would be nice but optional, depending on the necklace, and something dressier with your hair, if possible. And dressy evening sandals or peep-toeish shoes. (Love the color, BTW. 
)</p>
<p>Here’s a page with some surprising alternatives:</p>
<p><a href=“All Categories - Etsy”>All Categories - Etsy;
<p>It is black tie OPTIONAL. You will see everything from full length gowns to more simple dresses. Your dress is lovely but needs something to dress it up, in my opinion. I agree, dress it up with some bling. You could also get a nice wrap of some sort to put around your shoulders. Maybe something with some silk in it.</p>
<p>Your dress isn’t really a “cocktail” dress…it is a very nice summer dress, not something i think would be worn to a black tie event. Do you know anyone else invited to this event? Maybe you could see what they are wearing.</p>
<p>I can see something like a chunky hematite choker with matching chunky bracelet and earrings and high-heeled strappy black sandals.</p>
<p>But basically I agree that although this dress would be great for other summer weddings, it really isn’t dressy enough for black tie.</p>
<p>It is cute though! Love the texture!</p>
<p>The other way to dress up that particular dress might be to have your hair done up in a dressy way and to have significant earrings, a cocktail ring with presence, perhaps a bracelet, but no necklace. Definitely strappy sandals that couldn’t be mistaken for daywear. You might consider having a shawl to drape over you as well. I could envision significant enamel-and-gold earrings that would look great and wouldn’t be too expensive.</p>
<p>Black tie optional is redundant in that people who don’t own a dinner jacket have always been able to substitute a dark suit. To me, it implies a formal affair, although you will no doubt see peoole in both formal and dressy cocktail attire. I see that dress as more daytime.</p>
<p>Update alert! The wedding was this weekend. No dance for groom and mom and no photographer pictures of them. The bride and party and groom and party all got ready at the venue (separately but in the same complex) and MOG was told not to be there, so she is in no pre wedding pictures, and wasn’t present to “dress” her son. Lots of hard feelings. I don’t think she and my D will be friends after the wedding, or at least not for a while.</p>
<p>Takin’ bets on how long this marriage will last?</p>
<p>zoosermom, are you saying that the bride arranged for there to be pictures of her and her mother, but deliberately had none of the groom and his mother? Or were both mothers shut out? And who told the MOG not to be there? Was the bride’s mother there?</p>
<p>You know, thinking about this, it is surprising that the bride did not focus her feelings on the groom’s FATHER, who after all has been around, while hers decamped.</p>
<p>Zoosermom,
Why is your D not going to be friends with the bride after this? Is the bride upset with your D for some reason or does your D feel the need for some space after all of this? I wouldn’t blame her!!!</p>
<p>Oh man. That is so, so hurtful for that poor MOG. </p>
<p>When my #2 son got married, he and his bride (whom I love dearly) elected to do “first look” photos. So the photographer (who is a friend of the bride’s and is a VERY high-end photographer…she gave them her services as a gift) decided where those photos would take place. So of course there are lots of beautiful pictures of the MOB and the bride getting ready and then of the bride and groom’s “first look”. Then the photographer had asked all the “wedding party” to meet at a certain spot for group photos. In this case the wedding party included all my immediate family except me (my son’s brother and sister were attendants and my husband was the best man). I was explicitly told I COuLD NOT BE THERE. </p>
<p>I was hurt and, frankly, angry. All I heard about was how much fun they all had and the pictures are indeed beautiful. There were no pictures taken at all of just me and my son on his wedding day. I know my wonderful daughter-in-law would feel awful if she knew how hurtful this was, so I will never discuss it with her. </p>
<p>What happened in this case is so much worse, though. I feel awful for the mother of the groom and can certainly sympathize.</p>