<p>My 15yo ds and I watch together every week. The whole scenario with the 16yo and the 19yo is so tough. I’m wondering what everyone else would do in that situation.</p>
<p>Pray?</p>
<p>We love the show. My favorite comment was by Adam (the responsible son). He said something to the effect that as he wakes up everyday he practices saying that he’s sorry.</p>
<p>We’re watching it this minute…love the show. H and I were just saying that it’s a tough call with the 16yo and 19yo, but to forbid ANYthing almost always pushes them directly towards it. Compromise seems the likely answer. Let him come and visit at their house on their terms. Go to a movie and come right home…whatever seems reasonable for all.</p>
<p>I like the show a lot, and have watched it from the beginning. There are times when it irritates me, usually when they wrap everything up in a neat and tidy package by the end of the episode. Generally, though, I find it an interesting show, with a good cast. I like it when Mae Whitman’s Amber has more to do in an episode. She’s an amazing young actor and her character is a delightful portrayal.</p>
<p>As for the Haddie storyline, I think that compromise on Christina and Adam’s part is a necessity. As the mom of 5 Ds, I understand the concerns but, as a psychologist, I know that forbidden fruit is even more appealing, especially to a 16 year old. I dated a 19 year old when I was 16 and a 21 year old when I was 17. I’m sure my mother was freaking out but I was never told that I couldn’t date them. Granted, neither of them was an alcoholic.</p>
<p>DH and I like the show. We started liking it even better when we found that we could watch episodes on Comcast On Demand, no commercials.</p>
<p>Watching it right now. Christina, in particular, is too controling. Of course you’ve got to be concerned if your 16 yo wants to date a 19 yo recovering alcoholic but Haddie has demonstrated that she doesn’t plan to give in; time to compromise or risk damaging your relationship with your D forever. Yup, I’m hooked ;)</p>
<p>Love that show and have watched it from the beginning, as well. Started watching it because of Lauren Graham. My husband, nearly 16 year old daughter and I watched last night and discussed this issue, too. We all agreed that there needed to be compromise but that is easy for me to sit back and say that when I’m not actually in the situation. I also love the Amber character and agree that she is portrayed by a very good young actress. I remember Bonnie Bedelia from when I was a teenager and used to love her.</p>
<p>1down12go, great advice! You should pass it on to Christina. Yep, I’m hooked too.</p>
<p>Just watched the last episode this morning. Was thinking about what we would have done in the situation Christina and Adam are in. I completely agree with them that this is very tough (I loved Adam’s comment about wanting her to enjoy her childhood, being 16). But I disagree with them forbidding her from seeing him completely. That seemed like the wrong tack to take.</p>
<p>Don’t know that a 16 yr old could walk out and go stay happily at grandma’s. I would have expected Grandma to send her back home - not get into the middle…but this makes for better tv (more tension, more stress, fights etc).</p>
<p>We love the Amber actress, too!
We began watching this at the beginning since the old Parenthood movie was a popular choice around our house for years.
Both of the blondes are too uptight 
Post #3 is probably the best idea about the 16 & 19 year old, it’s always tough to have a high schooler dating some one out of HS, let alone someone who has gone through such a sad series of issues himself.</p>
<p>I knew a couple of families who had teens not their own living with them for weeks or months due to issues at home. You always wonder how serious those issues really are and if the friends are helping the kid from a horrid situation or enabling the kid to flout authority.</p>
<p>Ds was understanding of the parents after the previous episode, but after last night’s, he thinks they are being too inflexible. Especially because Hattie came over to apologize for saying she’d pick Alex over them, he feels like they should meet her somewhere in the middle. Where exactly is the problem for me.</p>
<p>ETA: Crossposted w/somemom. The age difference is something, aside from all the other stuff, that I have a problem with. I wouldn’t let my freshman dd date a senior, so why would I let my 16yo date a 19yo, regardless of what else is going on? After 18, she can do whatever she wants.</p>
<p>And, yes, my BIL lived with a friend’s family when he was in his late teens. This was well before I was in the family, but I know FIL kicked him out over something must of us wouldn’t have kicked a kid out for. If Hattie is going to leave over this, then once her parents start compromising, what’s to keep her from continuing to push the boundary? What do you mean we can only see each other here? I’m leaving! What do you mean my curfew is now 10 p.m.? I’m leaving!</p>
<p>Per the comment that Haddie should have been sent home by Grandma (can’t think of her character’s name at the moment), Haddie could take off for who knows where. At least the parents know she’s safe and in a place she’s loved. I agree that 1down1togo has the best suggestion!</p>
<p>I haven’t watched last night’s episode, but my husband and I caught up on the other episodes last night. Both of us were practically yelling at the TV for what we considered the idiotic parenting of Adam and Christina.</p>
<p>Out and out forbidding your daughter from seeing someone, in my opinion, is absolutely the wrong parenting move (unless the relationship is demonstrably dangerous – the boyfriend is physically or mentally abusing her, for example). The parents should have sat down with Hattie, explained their concerns, discussed the situation, given Hattie an opportunity to act maturely and like an adult and have a conversation about it. Perhaps setting some ground rules for the relationship (he’s welcome at our house, you can’t go to his apartment for the first number of months, you must keep up your grades, etc.). </p>
<p>By forbidding Hattie to see him, they basically pushed her in the direction of deceit and lying. Stupid, stupid, stupid. And then removing the door to her bedroom – if I were Hattie, I would have walked out right then and there. I was glad she left – her parents were being unreasonable. </p>
<p>I don’t condone Hattie’s lying and seeing Alex after her parents set the rules. But most of us here have had 16-year-olds, and most of them do things behind their parents backs, many on a routine basis. Hattie is generally a pretty good kid, and her parents’ mistrust comes out of nowhere.</p>
<p>See the last few minutes of the episode: Christina’s mother ran away with her father at 16 and “he (the father) made everyday of her life a living hell.” That is where the response comes from. In Christina’s eyes she is saving her daughter from a life of hell. </p>
<p>Obviously the character arc has to realize that her mother is not her daughter’s relationship. But this begs the question of how many of us reacted or made decisions based on our upbringing and families…right or wrong.</p>
<p>My only “problem” is that, at this moment Alex is too good. He is too responsible, approachable, ethical and a bit too perfect. So, we’ll see where this goes.</p>
<p>This is why this show is so good.</p>
<p>Mae was in my daughter’s acting class. Wonderful actress.</p>
<p>Yes, this isn’t going to end well, I’m sure. </p>
<p>I like the actor who plays Alex. He used to play Reggie in “All My Children.”</p>
<p>He also (actor who plays Alex, Michael B Jordan) was Vince in Friday Night Lights. He’s terrific.</p>
<p>I have a 16 yr. old D and am torn when I watch this show. I agree with all above that the parents are too inflexible. I don’t know exactly what I’d do, but I hope I would try to find a compromise that we could all live with.</p>
<p>We had a 15 yr old D who wanted to date an 18 yr old. We requested that they hang out with our family for the first few dates so we could get to know the young man. Once we were comfortable, we let them go out - but she still had to be home by curfew, etc. It didn’t last too long -as D realized that even though he was 18, he was still pretty immature. I’m not really an over-reacting type. More of a compromising type. </p>
<p>But I love the show. We have an Aspie child and got a huge laugh out of the camping scene last night. I remember the years of having to bribe S with time with his animal encylopedia in exchange for interacting with humans.</p>
<p>Any time your kid chooses an SI who is not in their best interest, it is tough to know what to do. Are you supposed to warn them so they don’t make life changing bad choices or is that pushing them into the arms of the bad choice? One of my DDs made some really lousy choices for a while, one kid was functionally illiterate which is so opposite her, there were many other negative aspects, but that was an obvious to anyone point of divergence. We actually made a point to invite the kid over and include him in the holiday of the moment. It was teeth gritting tough, but the relationship fizzled very quickly, in part I feel, because she was not at all fighting us over it. Of course she was not a minor!</p>
<p>I think that Adam and Christina have made a huge mistake. Haddie is a model daughter and they should trust her judgement and just be honest about their concerns. Their main concern is that he is too grown up, and will rob her of her childhood. But she is a very responsible young person, and so maybe she is ready for this. Also, by forbidding the relationship, they have made it way too important. There is no chance for a regular life cycle on the relationship.</p>
<p>Plus to me 19 doesnt seem that much older.</p>
<p>In general I love love love the show!!!</p>