Well, I had babies, so…
There is something to this probably. When we were young we didn’t know what we didn’t know and might not have had someone to warn us. So we just plunged in to one extent or another.
This generation has lots of knowledge available out there . . . maybe too much sometimes.
Then again I truly believe that the more things change the more they stay the same.
@binky17, just from the conversations I’ve been in the room for…it seems that young men think women run hot and cold. I’m not sure that is entirely a female trait and I think it’s old as the hills. Maybe guys just talk about that stuff more now to other guys o in these days they are more afraid of what can happen to them if it’s hot…and then it’s not. I agree thought that it all tends to smooth out in the late twenties after both sexes calm down or at least I hope a steady diet of Disney hasn’t rattled young women’s brain cells and men realize that trust and common goals is greater than first impressions and you don’t learn much about someone in one hook-up. I think it’s all somewhat typical and just an iteration of things I experienced in my twenties. The type of guys I dated and pursued were vastly different than the guy I married with whom I’m still very much married.
I know parents who actively discourage any romance for their kids because they are “too young” in college. I disagree. A college student is certainly old enough to be dating and figuring out what they do/do not want in a life partner. Yes, it might be a bit more difficult to figure out what the next step is after undergrad if you are trying to maintain a relationship but what a great way to see if the relationship means enough to both to go to the trouble of maintaining it.
I have a young man in my life that I am pretty sure he thinks of me as his mother. He is a friend and former classmate of my oldest daughter.
I always feel the need to set him up , but the truth is, he is a complicated and somewhat emotionally damaged guy. His parents got divorced when he and his sister were young and from what I have gathered , it was ugly.
Smart as a whip, Ivy grad who is just stuck in life…
To the OP, my youngest is a beautiful nerd who plays video games with her small group of friends. She does have a boyfriend that she met at school, after making the judgment that all college guys are looking to " hook up " only.
She happened to accidentally meet a really sensitive and great young man who adores her. Don’t give up hope. She will find someone when the timing is right. Quality over quantity 
To the OP, I could have written your post about a decade ago.
My Ds went to LAC with the odds favoring young men. I was never informed of any dating, but there were groups of friends, both male and female having an amazingly good time, amid the academic work. One D during most phone calls was laughing so hard that we couldn’t talk for long. When I asked about boyfriends, she said that being exclusive with one person seemed like less of a good time than the larger group. They both (twins) progressed though post college years following various interests, and eventually met sig. others on line that they are serious about at age 28. We are planning one wedding, and the other relationship is quite serious. I am rather impressed, as it seems to have come out of nowhere. They apparently had to be ready.
I know of a few such parents, too…and disagree.
However, I personally didn’t prioritize dating/romance in undergrad and even afterwards as being a single person provided a lot more flexibility in academic/social activities and I didn’t like the idea of being tied down by having to consider the “relationship” which felt too much like narrowing of one’s horizons for me.
It also probably didn’t help that part of/the price of being in a relationship is having to sometimes act in the role of the counselor.
IME…far too many young women seem to feel I’m the “right type” to unload all of their negative psychological baggage without even assessing whether I’m trustworthy enough to keep it to myself or whether it’s a good/effective way to build any relationship*…especially with someone who doesn’t “unload” in such a manner and finds the ease of which some do it to be troubling.
- Tip from one guy. Unless the guy is unusually sensitive and a natural in this sort of role as one older post-college friend is**, it tends to weird many others out and will cause some to run for the hills.
This also applies to platonic relationships as well. One older college classmate ended up alienating a lot of folks including long-time friends precisely because he makes it a habit of “unloading” his psychological baggage too often and at inappropriate times/places.
** I’ve always told him that he missed his calling by being in the insurance business rather than getting a PhD in Psychology and becoming a full-time counselor. He’d be great at it.
This is getting far too serious. At this point, I’d be happy for her to just go on a date and mybe come home with a hickey on her neck. :))
^^You could feign shock and dismay while secretly snickering as you ponder your own past.
@lvvcsf I have already done that with my sixteen year old son who has had a girlfriend for a year! In fact, I recently mortified him with a stern admonition to please not sport any further tacky neck contusions.
^LOL. I’d take a pass on the hickey for D but it would be nice if someone would invite her someplace that required taking some extra care in dressing and makeup.
It was me who started the old thread 5 years ago (I think there was follow-up one started by someone else later). Lindagaf, freshman year in college is way too early to worry IMHO. My “you can start to worry” milestone is finished with college if they went, or in early twenties if not. My own young women have still remained chronically single, and I do worry about it (and I think they do too - one spills all beans and the other doesn’t). I don’t care about them settling down with a life partner in the forseeable future, but they should be sowing a few wild oats and/or having a starter-partner or two. The oldest (27) has spent a lot of time out of the country, and is temporarily back from a teaching job abroad, the younger (23) is in grad school. They’re getting on with life, but this is a sticking point for both of them.
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/1289430-are-your-kids-late-bloomers-re-dating-p1.html
I didn’t read this whole thread, but it seems that many are making the assumption of exclusive heterosexual relationships and not giving latitude for the possibility of a more queer lifestyle. I know with my late bloomer daughter who did not date in HS and most of college, had one sexual relationship with a boy in college, some with women, lived with a man for 8 months while in a foreign country after graduation, spent some time in the lesbian scene in our hometown, and is now “seeing” but not exclusive with a man.
For me, being with the same man for 35 years, I wanted to fit her into my social expectations. I finally realized my life is not hers, she doesn’t want kids at this point, and I have to accept her idea of the type of relationships that sustain her. Being athletic, working outdoors, and involved with the local dance scene, she is certainly not the librarian type with cats. Perhaps her late blooming was a result of not being comfortable with social norms?
My married “adult child” is older than most of your offspring. I know my “evidence” is only anecdotal, but looking at my kid’s friends and former classmates, I see no correlation whatsoever between dating in high school and college and being successful in finding and marrying “the one” and–yes–having kids. There are people who dated a lot in high school and college who are married—and some who are not. There are people who graduated from med school/law school/grad school without ever having had a serious romantic relationship who are happily married. There are people who dated all through all of these who aren’t.
I consider the fact my married kid didn’t fall seriously in love until after college graduation as one of the blessings of my life. I don’t think that dating a number of people is necessary for figuring out what you want in a relationship. I don’t think you have to “kiss a few frogs” before meeting your prince. Maybe a better way of saying that is that I don’t think EVERYONE has to do so. And I know quite a few young people who “kissed a few frogs” and ended up marrying one anyway.
However, there is one HUGE caveat. Sometimes, you really DO meet the right person at the wrong time. I’ve known young women who met a really great guy in college, but did nothing to foster a relationship because they wanted to go to med/law/business/grad school. But when they met their goals and decided okay NOW it’s time for me to meet “Mr. Right,” they found that nobody they met measured up to the guy they let go because “the time just wasn’t right.” It also happens to males, but less often, IME. That’s in part because men in our society are more likely to marry women quite a bit younger than women are.
So, while I don’t really think “dating for the sake of dating” has any great benefit, I’d tell my kid that if they meet someone they just really “click” with, no matter how young they are, don’t just ignore it and assume “There are other fishies in the sea” to quote Mark’s mom in Rent. I’m NOT saying you should get married at 16 or 20. I am saying you should let that person know how you feel and do your best to maintain that relationship. Of course, if it falls apart,it can be painful. Still…sometmes you really do meet the right person when you aren’t really ready for a “relationship.”
@GTalum, can’t speak for others, but I’m not making that assumption. My younger D isn’t sure if she prefers females or males (some indications she’ll settle on males - maybe) - but nothing is happening with either gender.
I just want my son to be happy, whatever that looks like when the time is right for him. But I have to say, I’d be more happy with grandcats than children. The very idea of grandchildren makes me feel old. I’ll probably never be ready for that.
@GTalum she is straight, but if she decides she is gay that’s cool too. I just want her to have a lovelife at some point, straight or gay. She is a shy, awkward geek. She does not have a super bubbly personality and people don’t gravitate towards her, even though she has plenty of friends. I think maybe part of it is that she is still learning how to “be” around guys. She literally did not have a single male friend through all of high school until her senior year, and he is a gay guy in fact. One thing I love is that now she is at college, she is part of a group of friends that includes guys. She is certainly more confident now, which is an improvement. I am hoping that as she matures, she becomes less awkward. Maybe she doesn’t seem approachable yet. I should add by the way, that she doesn’t seem particularly concerned about this. I am just finding things to worry about.
And even that’s a lot better than encountering worse entities like Jabba The Hutt as Princess Leia(RIP) will likely recount from her experience with him.
Ducks 
@Lindagaf my D is similar to yours on many levels. She just started to become much more social during her sophomore year and this summer ( she is away from home ). Although she doesn’t have a boyfriend, I can see the huge change in her as she approaches her junior year in college. She started college as a nervous kid who studied a lot and was not too social… somewhat awkward and very anxious. She evolved into a kid who continues to study and work hard, but will now talk to boys more and discuss the ones she deems interesting. She doesn’t have a boyfriend… which is fine… but she is now willing and able to go out and have some sort of social life. Her confidence has improved.
In my D’s case the academic piece and the ability to handle herself with adults came first… the social piece came later…much much later. She still doesn’t drink or party ( which is fine) but she is now willing and ready to go out and socialize with new people. And talk to boys.
Baby steps…as you know!
I think there are a lot of kids out there like our girls. My daughter hides her own awkwardness with a pretty fierce resting bitch face. I know if I were I guy, I wouldn’t find her very approachable. She didn’t really talk to guys much until she was 17 or so. In addition life in college (even high school) is not exactly carefree these days. She works MUCH harder than I did in both high school and college. And the social scene at a lot of colleges is also more demanding than it was when I was in school, back when the evidence of your social life (or lack thereof) wasn’t plastered all over social media for everyone to see. Dating is intimidating and takes time and energy.
I know my daughter isn’t really interested in casual relationships but also isn’t ready for long-term commitment either. At the same time, I think she likes the security of having a steady guy. So, while she has a boyfriend now in college and had one in high school, there has also been something that makes any talk of “future plans” out of the question (like having a boyfriend who lives 800 miles away as a high school student or going with an international student who will be moving half a world away after graduation as a college student). I don’t think it’s a conscious decision, but it’s sort of interesting how it has worked out.