Am I the only one who is more concerned about the “cats” part?
What’s your concern, @57special ? I am concerned about people who don’t own cats, because they are so cute and fluffy. Everyone should have at least one cat, and ideally three.
I tolerate dogs, but do not like cats. I only like dogs now because D2 is crazy about them.
I would always encourage you to try to “set up” your daughter. It’s a winning strategy that can promote a valuable dialog if you handle it with sensitivity. The facts are that no matter what anyone says, the pool of potential partners and the opportunity to meet them and be selective declines precipitously when one leaves their last school. Not to say impossible, but your best opportunities will be in the rear view mirror. I encourage everyone to make the best with what they have
@roycroftmom I know a lot of women like that too. I got married fairly young in my mid twenties. I’m glad I did because I am now a young empty nester. I have many friends that chased the career then the pickings were slim in their mid thirties. They also had many fertility challenges. Unfortunately girls typically outnumber boys in college so it gets harder each year. Social media doesn’t help this either. Kids today lack communication skills. How do you really know someone when you text all the time?
@wisteria100 she wasn’t slammed for simply saying “look at all these eligible mates! You’ll never have as many in this concentration again.” It was that she made it seem like that was the PRIMARY goal for a woman at Princeton.
Also, she was slammed for only giving the advice to women.
ETA: I did marry my college boyfriend- and young (24) for my generation. No one ever told me to, or not to, find a partner in college. Just kind of happened.
Oh and Mr R and I started our relationship with furious back and forth texting. Worked out 
I don’t have a problem with kids texting. It’s the modern version of long phone calls, except all your freinds can join in.
If anything, this generation OVERcommunicates.
I wish I had known about your cat love sooner!
You seem so nice! And funny! But “ideally three” cats?!
Ideally, three. B-) I am the ideal mate for Mr. B. he had no idea how much he loved cats until he met me. He was even allergic to cats… There are cats that don’t send him into allergic shock… he just had to find them.
(My avatar only shows my 2 naturalized grandkitties. The Ameican citizen cat is not pictured).
Et tu @BunsenBurner ? (Well, the avatar was a tip-off)
I married a college friend, too. But there were 125 people in my class in my residential college. I knew most of them reasonably well by the time we graduated, and I have gone to a few reunions and read alumni news all the time. As far as I know, three of us are married (or have ever been married) to people we met in college. Even if I’m off by a factor of 100%, that’s still not very many of us who found long-term mates in college.
I’ve been reading this thread with interest because my S (32) is marrying a woman this fall who will be 35 at the wedding. They met three years ago, so well after college and even graduate school for him. Her cousin (with whom my S went to high school) introduced them and I think the future was destined from their first date. My S2 is 30 and met a woman this winter who seems very special to him and she is 26. My D, most pertinent to this conversation, didn’t really date much all through HS, college, and law school, and just this winter started a relationship that I think is now longer than any she has ever had. She’s 27 now. I just think everything is moving on a much slower trajectory and I so wouldn’t worry. And, in the latter two cases, they met via online platforms.
@user4321 , and others who advocate college as a great meeting spot for partners, interestingly, I met zero boyfriends in college. In fact, I never went on a date with a single guy from college and I spent six years getting my degree. Now, that is probably because I attended commuter colleges. I met most boyfriends/dates in nightclubs/pubs because I was a wild party girl. I had a zillion dates in my mid twenties. Then I met hubby a few years before we started dating. Got married in my 30’s. If you met me now, you would never believe how crazy I was.
I think the key to finding suitable others to date has to do with proximity. I lived in a city during my twenties which made it easy to meet people, plus I am very outgoing. My D is quiet though. I am actually glad that modern technology makes it easier than ever to meet people, because I suspect that may be how my D ends up finding a life partner. Meanwhile, I hope she at least dates a few nice boys in college. Her college has a pretty even balance of guys and girls.
My son is 27 now, and has never been in a long-term relationship. I worry sometimes about whether he’ll ever find someone, but I try to remind myself that it isn’t a major focus in his life right now.
When I think of my family, my parents met in college. My older sister met her spouse in college. The rest of us didn’t meet our partners in college.
One brother started dating while in colllrge but knew the girl from HS. Another brother started dating in law school a girl he met at a party but who was not attending his school or living in his city.
Believe another sister met her H at a party. She was already done with school, including her master’s but working as a teacher while he was going to dental school.
I had been out of law school for years when I met H in a volleyball league. My other sister had never dated when she was set up by my other sister with her boss. They clicked and eventually married. They were in their late 30s, early 40s.
There are lots of folks for whom serious relationships in college is just not going to work. My kids were among them. They were busy with other things in college and are still around lots of young singles, so I don’t lose much sleep.
One of the more difficult things about marrying older is the likelihood that one’s future spouse comes with “baggage”, whether that is in the form of children from a prior relationship, or emotional scars from a divorce, or whatever. Not a show-stopper, but I do remember many friends who said they hadn’t really considered that issue before. In any event, with about 20 or 25 percent of millennials expected to never marry, it will at least be much easier to be single and older than it used to be. There are fewer incentives to marry than there used to be, and people are more wary of the experience. Of course, being older and alone has its own pros and cons.
When I got my first job out of college, I complained that I was pretty lonely and really only knew the people in my office. My brother famously said, “Well, you aren’t going to meet many people sitting in your apartment.”
So, I got out there and did stuff even though I’m an introvert at heart. I started going to the gym. I got back into church music ministry. I became a Big Sister, and that’s actually how I met my husband - he was a Big Brother.
I figured if I was going to not date anyone, I might as well have fun doing it … if that makes sense, lol.
@runnersmom, your oldest son’s story gives me hope. S is 29 and isn’t dating anyone now, not by choice. He had several long term relationships late in college and in his first few years out. Then he had a few short term relationships, but not much in recent time. He’s now in grad school where he’s met so many new people, but I don’t think anyone has “clicked”. I think he needs to get into online dating (but I need to keep my mouth shut). At this point, I think his dating confidence has taken a hit. It seems (to him) that most of his friends are either getting married or in serious relationships. His sister is getting married in a few weeks and he’s not bringing anyone to the wedding.
And yes, he’s already got the cat - an adorable rescue cat with 3 legs.
“with about 20 or 25 percent of millennials expected to never marry”
Doesn’t necessarily mean they aren’t “with” someone. Marriage rates are dropping but I do know people of all ages who are choosing to live together without being legally married.