<p>^^No kidding? That is pretty remarkable in 2012.</p>
<p>S is 20 and only dated one girl in HS for a couple of months. Then she dumped him and told him they weren’t really dating–she was just cheating on her boyfriend with him. He was devastated!</p>
<p>He’s had no luck at all in college–keeps getting the “I think of you as a friend” speech. Several girls have complained to S about their rotten luck in getting a date because nobody will give them a chance, but when S asks them out he gets turned down flat. How is that for a slap in the face? It really does a number on his self-confidence.</p>
<p>My daughter told me about the “ladder theory”. Where boys have one ladder and girls can go up and down the ladder. Girls have two ladders a friend ladder or a potential ladder and there is really no going from one ladder to another. [The</a> Ladder Theory](<a href=“http://www.relationshiptheory.com/2009/03/17/the-ladder-theory/]The”>http://www.relationshiptheory.com/2009/03/17/the-ladder-theory/)
Girls often ask where all the nice guys are, and the answer is they are on the friends list (ladder) where you left them.</p>
<p>Ii was thinking reading mid thread that we should have a matchmaking thread as well. Can you imagine the attractive smart accomplished kids that would come out of it?. I once pm’d a mom and we jokingly laughed about setting our kids up as they go to school in the same city. I would have to hide my D 1 would KILL me. I feel bad as she has always been confident , a leader, smart, pretty but more of a tom boy. She was an athlete. guys were her friends. she started in her freshman year of college to be more invested in fashion. I have to say both girls are really oblivious to guys checking them out which my H and I see. Both girls are not interested in one night stands, and there lies the problem. They would have plenty of dates if that were the case.(not to say this is the case with all your dating lids just their experience) I was the same way, I dated more than they have, but I was also not as high acheiving. sometimes it does make me wonder, because things are so different now. How do they meet people after college? I think if I hadnt met my h in college I might not be married, I am not flirty etc… I work with a number of women, who arent married and i dont want htat for my kids.</p>
<p>tx5athome – around here we call that the “friend zone”.</p>
<p>My 18 year old son is a freshman in College majoring in Physics. He has never had a date. He has Asperger’s syndrome and though he can function at a high level academically he is socially awkward and is particularly intimidated by girls. Is there any hope for him to lead a more normal life in terms of interacting with girls?</p>
<p>I know several Aspies with girlfriends! :)</p>
<p>I’m not a parent, I’m actually a kid, but I suppose I’m in a similar situation. I’m a 19 year old second semester college freshman and I’ve never really been kissed, let alone had a proper boyfriend. I’ve never actively looked for a boyfriend and I’m a pretty shy person who doesn’t really party or go out so I’ve just never had the opportunity to make that sort of a connection with somebody. It is a little weird being on a college campus where it seems like everyone is dating and I’m not, but I’ve realized that I’m far from alone in my situation and as long as I don’t let it bother me, I’m sure I’ll eventually find someone. I don’t think I’m a “late bloomer” though. In fact, I think my problem is that I was a very early bloomer. I was always commended by teachers and professors alike for being serious and “mature/wise beyond my age.” I’m just busy waiting for all the boys to catch up. ;)</p>
<p>I also have an older sister who has only ever had one boyfriend/fiance (for five years now, on and off) and they didn’t start dating until she was almost 20, so to each their own. However, my mother was married at 19 and although my parents have been married now for 28 years, I never had any intention of following in that path.</p>
<p>ummm…weird much!!!</p>
<p>I will get into a relationship when I am ready, THANKS!!! It is bad enough that your family members constantly nag at you for not wanting one and your friends abandoning you are not in one. STOP WITH THE MADNESS!!!</p>
<p>iamivyobsessed - having started all this, as the mother of a couple of young women who are ready to get into relationships but can’t find them - most of us old farts writing here are just expressing our own selves, while trying to preserve the dignity and privacy of our kids by not laying any of this directly on them. I’m sorry your relatives are nagging you. You may be worrying about your own kids someday and will probably draw on your old family conflicts to figure out when to mind your own business.</p>
<p>Not only does my younger son have Aspberger’s, is socially awkward and has never been on a date, he is also fascinated by something called “My Little Pony”. He even has it as his screensaver on his computer. I do not know anything about “my little pony” but it sounds like something aimed at 10 year olds rather than college students. It really concerns me since it does not seem like he is making any progress in the maturity department. Has anyone ever heard of college students being interested in something called “my little pony”?</p>
<p>Lemaitre, are you talking about the band from Norway? That is the most likely thing that showed up when I googled. I am not familiar with the band but I know that my son is interested in some bands from Scandinavia.</p>
<p>My little pony is a brand of toys for young girls from ages 6-10ish.
Basically little ponies, changing hair color, other accessories, etc.</p>
<p>My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, while initially aimed at younger children has in fact developed quite an adult fanbase. I wouldn’t worry about a young man being into it.</p>
<p>To quote Wikipedia:</p>
<p>“The show has been critically praised for its humor and moral outlook. Despite the target demographic of young girls and their parents, Friendship Is Magic has gained a large following of older viewers, predominately male teenagers and adults, who call themselves “bronies”. Reasons for this unintended appreciation include Faust’s creative contribution to the writing and characterization, the expressive Flash-based animation style, themes that older audiences can appreciate, and a reciprocal relationship between Hasbro, the creators, and the fans. Elements of the show have become part of the remix culture and have formed the basis for a variety of Internet memes.”</p>
<p>It’s the “in” thing. Your ds is hipper than your think. The guys who are into call themselves Bronies – as in, bros who like My Little Ponies.</p>
<p>The things you learn on “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me”! You can Google it.</p>
<p>Yes, I remember. We had many little ponies that my children played with when they were 6-10 years old. Wasn’t there even a cartoon show by that name? My kids now are in their late twenties.</p>
<p>My D did have three dates in HS–all for formal ball or prom. She has had many male & female buddies. H had zero dates in HS but had a GF one summer–they met on an overseas trip. It lasted a few months after they both got back to their respective LA Us.</p>
<p>I hope each of them finds nice partners when they decide they’re interested. I spent most of my HS, college & professional school in long-term relationships. Don’t really know why neither of my kids has had a serious BF/GF yet, but hope it happens for them.</p>
<p>When DD transferred into an all-girls HS as a sophomore, the lovely young women there started a rumor that she was a lesbian, which she wasn’t. She did not date in HS. This week, she celebrates two years of dating her first BF. They seem very well suited for each other, and she is also his first GF. They met freshman year.</p>
<p>My son didn’t date at all in high school, largely because there was really nobody for him to go out with – for a long time, he was the only out gay kid in his entire school.</p>
<p>In college, I know he’s been out with a number of guys, some of whom he’s met online, but none of them for more than a couple of times, and, at 21, he’s never been in an actual “relationship.” He says he hasn’t really wanted to be in a relationship during college anyway, because it might distract him from his work, but to a certain extent that might simply represent his attempt to be positive about the situation. </p>
<p>He deserves someone wonderful; he deserves to love and be loved; and I hope it happens for him. But unless he tells me that he’s concerned or upset by not being in a relationship, or I get the sense that he is, I’m not overly worried about it.</p>
<p>And he’s way ahead of where I was at his age. I was 26, I believe, when I first went on a date with anyone, and my first long-term relationship (longer than a month or so) began when I was 31, with the person I married 9 months later. Of course, there were reasons for all that, none of which apply to him.</p>
<p>So I’m hardly the best person to give him advice in that field, especially given how my marriage turned out!</p>
<p>Oh, dear. This brings back memories. When I was an only-been-kissed 24-year-old graduate student, I thought I was a freak. I have the journal entries to prove it. Nearly 30 years and several beaux (along with the attendant joys and heartaches) later, all my angst seems to have been pointless (though it felt rather pointed at the time).</p>