Asian Racism and charged w/ assult...

Parent Cafe
41

<p>As a female in an agressive, all male profession, I can say without equivocation that the OP must sharpen her verbal skills–especially her wit-- if she doesn’t want to be bullied as a professional woman–Asian or otherwise. </p>

<p>I don’t ‘shove’ or ‘push’ aggressive contractors who are trying to bully me–I’ve never even come close to raising my hand. I’ve only had to use what Nancy Pelosi calls her ‘mother of five’ voice five or six times in thirty years of intense conflicts. As my adversaries are often carrying large metal tools and motorized weapons (nailguns), I’d be a fool to even raise a finger against them. Nonetheless, thanks to my wit and verbal skills, I have their total respect and attention.</p>

<p>For what it’s worth, I never raised a hand against my children either.</p>

42

<p>I think that with intelligent and moral people verbal is the best way to go. BUT when half the people at your high school aren’t that bright (or not that moral) then physical RULES verbal. Asians get racial slurs all the time since people think they will not get physical. Yell a slur at a black girl in my school and you will have a girl fight with lots of nasty hair pulling/nail scratching on your hands. ( I am not trying to generalize everyone, but it has happened in my school ) THis is why white people never say racial slurs at black kids in my school (at least not in front of them). I have had even teachers say racial slurs at me. People on the street yell racial slurs since they think that asians (especially females–we’re generally reduced to powerless sex objects) won’t fight you. People in my school talk all the time about “banging an asian chick” There are tall, buff, strong asian guys/girls who don’t want to get physical except when it comes to the wrestling team or w/e. THis lack of fear promotes anti-asian atmosphere at my school. </p>

<p>I would never do this at work, btw.</p>

<p>I heard a story about racial slurs and mean attitudes from admistration and students and staff in central valley CA high schools. Some Loatian and viet students wanted to do a walk-out, but the school said they would give them sever repercussion for doing so. In the end, the walk-out was canceled by the hostile administration.</p>

<p>Stuff like this really makes me sad. People are/can be so evil inside.</p>

43

<p>“I think that with intelligent and moral people verbal is the best way to go. BUT when half the people at your high school aren’t that bright (or not that moral) then physical RULES verbal.”</p>

<p>Nope. Doesn’t make sense, at least not in terms of trying to stop name calling, etc. but duking it out. If one gets physical against thuggy people, they can decide to get their buddies together and manage to jump you.</p>

<p>Now, it could be wise to “get physical” by taking a self defense class, buffing up, etc., and making sure that people know about those things so they back off from taunting one, etc.</p>

<p>Such actions also will change the way one carries oneself. People who get their kicks hurling racial slurs tend not to do these things at people who carry themselves in an assertive manner and seem to be strong and athletic. ONe needn’t be tall to be able to carry this off. Attitude and confidence is what’s important.</p>

<p>To help the most people avoid this kind of victimization at that high school, however, the OP would be wise to adapt some of the strategies that many have mentioned here: getting a lawyer (which it seems she is doing. Good for her!), contacting school administrators all the way to the top of the system; contacting the media; getting advocacy organizations, parents and students including nonAsians involved on her side. There really are people of all races who despise the kind of actions that have been occuring at her school and would do what they could to stop them.</p>

44

<p>Have a tape recorder with you all time. Tape them when you get a chance. When you have enough evidence, sue the living pants of the school district. One good way to teach them. But don’t use violence because they can use it against you.</p>

45

<p>Careful there - I don’t know California laws specifically, but surreptitious recording, without the consent of all parties, is illegal in some states.</p>

46

<p>I think you may not use the recording in court but you can prove to the principal that it was not made up.
Potential of a lawsuit or potential of loosing his job is very powerful motivation for him to call both students in.
If you are a 3rd generation, English is not a problem then ask your parent to talk to the Principal.</p>

47

<p>sickofitnow, might find some help here. This is the Asian American Journalist Association and there are many members in California. Think publicity. </p>

<p><a href=“http://www.aaja.org/[/url]”>www.aaja.org/</a></p>

48

<p>sick, when I am on the jobsite, I am not dealing with intelligent or necessarily moral people. Some of them are ex-cons. They may be talented or extremely clever but few of them went to university. Their primary reactions are aggressive talk or physical force.</p>

<p>I understand your gut reaction–I do. I don’t know that it is defensible in this instance but I understand your need for aggression and your pride in making a stance.</p>

<p>As a woman with 30 years of experience in high conflict business situations, I am telling you that you cannot go forward in your life with that ‘bit of the biffo’ strategy. You must learn how to talk aggressively in order to gain respect and deflect bullying. Wit plays a big part, IMO.</p>

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<p>Hi sickofitnow –</p>

<p>Please keep us updated. Many people here (from different races, religions, and ethnicities, I might add) care what happens to you and are pulling for you.</p>

50

<p>sickofitnow,
I hope that you’re not experiencing any backlash due to the Virginia Tech killings. I noticed that a New York Times article sai that some Asians on that campus were concerned about possibile retaliation. </p>

<p>From the story: "Asian-American students at Virginia Tech reacted to news about the gunman’s identity with shock and some anxiety about a possible backlash.</p>

<p>“My parents are actually worried about retaliation against Asians,” said Lyu Boaz, a third-year accounting student who was born in South Korea and became an American citizen a year ago. “After 9/11, a lot of Arabs were attacked for that reason.”</p>

<p>Mr. Boaz, a resident adviser at Pritchard Hall, said many Korean-American students left campus immediately. Parents of other Korean-American students were preparing to pick up their children this afternoon and take them home. "</p>

<p>Please update us about your situation. Many of us here care about you.</p>

51

<p>I’m sorry but the mistake here was spending 2 minutes in a high school bathroom. Everyone knows all the dregs of high school humanity spend any amount of time in high school washrooms. Go in, do your business and GET THE HECK OUT OF THERE. Life is not fair. There are good guys and bad guys and people who insult others. AND girls who are looking for a FIGHT. YOU are ABOVE it all.Let it roll off your back and move on. Feel SORRY for that little twit who insulted you. YOU know better and ARE better than her. You have NOTHING to prove to anyone. YOU have your good character. Be proud and stand tall and GET THE HECK OUT OF THAT HIGH SCHOOL WASHROOM! Before someone pulls your hair.</p>

<p>Same old thing. Think this is new? Girls have been fighting in h.s. washrooms for decades.Get over it and move on.BUT NO MORE FIGHTS.YOU are above that!</p>

52

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<p>While I have no tolerance for racism, in re-reading the OP’s story, I honestly don’t think she is nearly as innocent in all this as some of us are making her out to be. Getting in someone’s face b/c they walked between you & the mirror during your between-classes beauty session? Let’s be real here about who was the aggressor in this confrontation. This fight was “on” before the Asian comment even took place.</p>

53

<p>She did say that the girl and her boyfriend had used racial slurs/curses at her previously. If you do not belong to a minority group to which such things happen, you would not understand the hurt.</p>

54

<p>Ok, but that was IN THE PAST and there was time to “cool down” after that incident, so you can’t use that as an excuse for the OP confronting this girl in the heat of the moment. The OP seemed to be intent on starting some static with this girl at some point down the line after that, almost premeditated, and this minor mirror-crossing incident provided the opportunity.</p>

55

<p>While I would never advocate any kind of payback, and strongly encourage kids that are the targets of race/hate mongers to ignore that kind of stuff, it is far easier for others to say “get over it”.</p>

<p>To call the OP the aggressor, and her actions premeditated is preposterous.</p>

<p>Out of curiousity, are you a part of any minority group?</p>

56

<p>I’m not a racial minority, but I have certainly been in enough fights in my life (some where I was certainly the hothead) to recognize the difference between the following two scenarios:</p>

<p>1) nasty comment leading directly to fight
2) nasty comment… six-month gap… perceived slight + get in face + nasty comment leading to fight</p>

<p>Why the need to confront this “fake surfer chick” about the mirror incident if the OP wasn’t ready to back it up?</p>

57

<p>Well, if you are not a racial minority, you have not faced these kind of insults. You have no idea what it is like to be at the receiving end of ethnic comments day after day. The slurs may be coming from different students everyday, and there is a build up of frustration that you could never understand. </p>

<p>Once again, I will say that calling the OP the

and her actions

is preposterous.</p>

58

<p>It certainly is understandable how it escalated. But “who touched who first” is the most important factor. OP is in trouble, and she should really quit talking about it publicly on this forum.</p>

<p>Kids say mean things to each other all the time. I was tall, thin and wore glasses in HS, and got my share of mean comments. Also I was in band. Football players used to call us “band queers” so much, now at class reunions we jokingly refer to each other the same way just for old times’ sake. Is this different than a mean comment based on race or color?</p>

59

<p>Look, the OP is ticked at the school for supposedly treating her differently from a black girl who was not suspended when she pushed a girl that called her a “jungle bunny.” But in my mind, the two incidents are not comparable. The OP did not react in the heat of the moment to the “chink” incident in the fall, for which I commend her. But instead of dealing with it at the time, either appropriately (talking to administration) or inappropriately (fighting), she instead chose to ignore it and move on. That is her perogative (sp?), but clearly the incident bothered her and she held a big grudge against the surfer chick.</p>

<p>Fast forward to last week. Now, I don’t know exactly what happened in that bathroom, but I am street smart enough to give you a rough transcipt:</p>

<p>OP fixing hair, standing back from mirror a few feet.
Surfer chick saunters by, purposely between OP and mirror.</p>

<p>OP: “B**ch, what was that all about?”
SC: “What are you gonna do about it, stupid little asian girl?”
OP pushes her, SC pushes back, OP pushes her into sink. </p>

<p>Unless you are a chump, one doesn’t get up in someone’s face without being ready to back it up. The OP knew full well what was going to happen when she confronted the surfer chick about the mirror. She had stewing about that prior racial slur for 6 mos, and was ready to throw down. This is why I called her acts “premeditated.” The original racial slur, while it was the root cause of the fight incident, was not truly the direct, proximate cause. There is a big difference, I would say. And I don’t think “silly little Asian girl,” (or whatever) while certainly said with some contempt toward Asians in general, is not nearly as offensive as the “jungle bunny” comment. And at that point, I the fight was probably already going to happen regardless of what this racist girl said. </p>

<p>Look, all I’m saying is that if people are going to advise the OP to make a supreme court case out of this supposedly disparate treatment, she better have the factual case to back it up, and I don’t think she does at all.</p>

60

<p>Okay, AV, I guess somewhere in your lengthy post you have justified calling her :
aggressor
premeditated</p>

<p>Now you are calling the OP a chump, and making up scenarios/transcripts, including that the OP said B****</p>

<p>Interesting. It must be nice to not be from a minority group.</p>