<p>What many people don’t understand about the Bar or Bat Mitzvah celebration is that parents are really supposed to provide it; as the Talmud says: “It is a mitzvah [good deed] for a person to make a meal on the day his son becomes Bar Mitzvah as on the day he enters the wedding canopy.” It can be as simple as having relatives back to your apartment for a piece of cake and a glass of schnapps, as used to happen in Europe during the war, or it can be as elaborate as a wedding, but it is more or less an obligation.</p>
<p>Thats interesting, Sop14. Didn’t know that.</p>
<p>Oh, artlovers, your figures are off. Did you know that you can get great catering deals for Yom Kippur events?</p>
<p>Holy Day and Festival costs have really gone through the roof since Tisha B’Av in the year 70 A.D. Before the Romans burned down the Temple in Jerusalem and sent us into exile for 2,000 years, we had a great big venue for festivals and holy days. All we had to bring was some omers of wheat. But I’m getting nostalgic.</p>
<p>LOL, paying3tuitions and pg!!</p>
<p>Translation for artlovers and those not familiar with Yom Kippur: One is expected to fast for the day. Catering costs for a day of fasting would be kinda modest :)</p>
<p>In response to a question about guests who would come to the reception and not the service:</p>
<p>
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<p>I never knew that the meal was the commandment. It does make sense, since one becomes a bar or bat mitzvah (an adult in the community) simply by attaining the age of 13 (in some communities, 12 for girls). No ceremony is required. It’s the same that a child in the US becomes an adult when reaching 18, even if no one says, “Happy birthday.”</p>
<p>My girls always attended all services when they were invited. For older d, she was the last in her year as one of the youngest students in her grade… so while I was concerned that the invited kids would have in “been there, done that” - I am so over this mode… they actually all appreciated that this was the last of the year… and rose to the occasion, participated and had a good time. I had a bus from temple to the reception so the majority of kids came to services. </p>
<p>Younger d was in beginning of June as a summer birthday and that worked fine too because everyone knew that before long they would be heading off for sleepaway camp or day camp or beach clubs or family travel. Plus her sleepaway camp friends were all excited to see one another in advance of camp starting in a few weeks. Not as many kids came to services though because services were Friday night and party was on Sunday afternoon.</p>
<p>We are going to a client’s daughter’s bat mitzvah; what amount is appropriate to give in this case?</p>
<p>How many people in total are going and are they adults or children? What type of client is it and how long have you had them as a client? I would treat the same question as if you were attending a wedding.</p>
<p>I don’t know how many people are going. Wedding idea is probably about right (even though the “bride” is a kid). Now, what to wear, what to wear! I hate formal stuff.</p>
<p>I think the most important question is: where does the bat mitzvah family live? There are MAJOR regional differences in the “going rate” for a bat mitzvah gift.</p>
<p>^^limeymum:</p>
<p>I meant how many people from your family are going? Two adults? Adults plus kids? I give a little more for two adults, maybe just slightly less for one adult and one child…maybe slightly more for two adults and one or two children…you get the point. What to wear to the service: I would suggest a work type dress or suit or skirt and blouse…as opposed to pants. Is the event (celebration) immediately after the service? Or is there a break in between? That may determine how formal it is. Usually afternoon receptions are less formal than evening ones.</p>
<p>Two adults are attending; the reception is in the evening at a hotel in downtown Boston.</p>
<p>I would give at least $250 but probably $300. </p>
<p>I would wear a fancy short dress.</p>
<p>Matzah! Don’t leave home without it.</p>
<p>Really? That’s typical in Boston? Wow, that would be very, very generous in this area.</p>
<p>I agree with emilybee. I live in metro NYC. If it was a close friend, I’d likely give more in the $350 range. (I realize this is a client, but I was just pointing out that I’d give more in the case of close friends or family.) DeskPotato, this is definitely a regional thing. :)</p>
<p>Emilybee; we were thinking right in that range of 250-300$ (multiple of 18). Fancy short dress maybe with leggings. Let the shopping begin. I love the look of totokaelo stuff, just want to find it closer to home.</p>
<p>i have a lot of experience with this and think chocchipcookie gave excellent advice</p>
<p>If this is an important client, I’d be generous, comparable to what I’d give a close family member.</p>