Battling it out with the parents... final decision [parents want pharmacy and require commuting from home, student wants journalism or similar]

College Search & Lists
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So, in a nutshell, my parents are making me choose between only a few colleges, and very specific majors despite my interests. Here are the colleges I got accepted to / waitlisted in:

  • Kean University (full ride, Communications/Journalism)
  • Rutgers University NB (no aid, 6 year Pharmacy)
  • Seton Hall University (30k/year, 6 year Biology + PA)
  • NJIT (about 10k a year, Data Science)
  • Pace University NYC (33k a year, Communications & Media Studies Program)
  • Drew University (30k a year, Media & Communications)
  • Barnard College (waitlisted)
  • Monmouth University (18k a year, Communication/Public Relations & Journalism)
  • Montclair University (Journalism & Digital Media)
  • UPENN (waitlisted)
  • TCNJ (Journalism & Professional Writing)

My parents REALLY, I mean REALLY want, me to go to Rutgers for pharmacy, but I would absolutely despise that. I’ve been telling them for months but it seems as though it goes in one ear and comes out the other. I would like to either go to Kean Uni, Pace Uni, or Barnard if I get off the waitlist (long shot but one can hope). They tell me either go to Rutgers Uni, Seton Hall Uni, Monmouth Uni, or Kean Uni- but only Kean if I change my major to Education or smth med-related. I don’t WANT to do anything med-related, or Education either. My career goal has been Journalism for a very long time now, I can do related things like Political Science, Law, Government, Intl Relations, etc. But NOT something that will get me on track to med school. Unfortunately, my parents are very adamant that I can’t do those things (don’t ask me why, I have no idea).
What do I do with this?? How do I compromise??? HELP!!!

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My son was interested in pharm. for a while and we did some research. Seemed like most pharmacists were miserable (not due to the science of pharmacy but due to working conditions) and not a well paid as you’d think. Maybe pull up some research to show them.

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I know… everyone that I know doing/studying pharmacy also hate it. Do you have any sources to recommend?

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Sorry, I don’t. I was just jumping all over the place when we were looking.

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Here’s a link to the OP’s original post for context https://talk.collegeconfidential.com/t/high-school-senior-applying-to-nyu-cas-nj-resident-3-97-1530-parents-require-pre-med-or-pharmacy-and-commuting-from-home

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In your previous thread you had mentioned that your budget was $5k/year. Is that still the case?

If yes, only Kean is affordable.

How do they plan to pay $30k/year x 6?

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This is the outlier on your list. It’s very affordable (albeit not 5K/year or under). You didn’t mention your thoughts about it. What made you decide to appy to NJIT for Data Science? Is it something you find interesting? How do your parents feel about it?

You don’t have to study journalism, to pursue journalism as a career. In fact, journalism is way up there on the list of most-regretted majors (along with pharmacy). Many who do break into journalism have majored in other things, and just worked on student newspapers while in college.

There’s a lot about data science and statistics that could be very useful background for a journalist, and for that matter for an educator, although I understand you’re not excited about education. It also includes skills that could make you employable in a range of fields. You could potentially attend NJIT, get involved in the student newspaper to keep building your portfolio as a journalist, and even start out with a pre-health intention if that’s what it takes to close the deal with your folks.

If you got to NJIT and hated data science, there are a variety of majors you could switch to, including Communication and Media, or Applied Statistics if you like the stats part but not the computational aspect. Meanwhile, this is probably the school with the greatest bang-for-your-buck in terms of financial value, on your list.

What are your thoughts, and your parents’ thoughts, about this option?

If you like the idea of taking the full ride at Kean, but your parents are vetoing the communications/journalism path, how about the Public Health major - would that make your parents happy enough, as something health-related, while still allowing you to study something with elements of public communication and analysis of societal systems? They also have Public Administration, which is government & poli sci adjacent but might appeal to your parents as something more pre-professional (esp., the 5-year BA/MPA tracks).

I think it’s completely fair for you to veto the pharmacy option. It clearly isn’t what you want to do, and it’s a huge commitment. It makes no sense if you hate the idea.

OTOH, your parents hate the idea of a journalism major, and not pursuing a journalism major (at least at first) will not kill your dream.

So the compromise must lie somewhere in between.

Do you see any possible paths forward in the above?

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I have no idea. They said they are willing to pay it all if it means I do what major/school they want me to… but tbh I don’t really trust them not to pull out loans and stuff. I mean, they’re already paying for my brother’s med school, and my younger siblings’ private school (it’s not too much but still, considering). I don’t want to put us all in that unpredictable situation. I feel like they’re only saying that they’ll pay it all so I agree to going.

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A full ride to Kean- I assume you mean that room and board are included?

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I would take the full ride at Kean. I don’t see why they think they should control what you study if they don’t have to pay. Maybe you can double major journalism and something that makes your parents happy?

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Oh, I’m sorry, that was the aid they gave me, not my tuition. I’ll have to edit my post so it’s more clear.

I suppose… but I know I can’t do something healthcare-related for 6 years. I can’t stand the thought. I’d like to double major or dual degree.

I didn’t. My parents put it for me. It doesn’t sound very interesting, but better than healthcare ig.

I don’t know… I don’t want to do ANYTHING healthcare-related. I’m willing to compromise for other things, but I really, really don’t want to give in on that aspect.

I was thinking of compromising by double majoring at Kean: Education and my current major. Idk if they’d agree, but at least Education is not healthcare. Kean has Art Education, Biology 5 year Education, Chemistry 5 year Education, Early Childhood Education, Elementary Bilingual Education, Elementary Education, Math 5 year Education, Music Education, PE and Health, Secondary Education, & 3 year Honors Elemntary Education/Teacher of Students w/ Disabilities. A wide range. I don’t see any reason I can’t double major that with Communication/Journalism, but I think my parents would take issue with that. It’s very hard to reason with them, maybe because we don’t understand each other one bit. Anyway, I don’t really like the idea of staying in a classroom my entire life, but I do like languages, so maybe I can do the Elementary Bilingual Education major.

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I won’t be living there, though- I have to commute by train.

I was hoping to compromise like that, yes.

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The only affordable option I see here is Kean. I would choose it and try to double major.

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Actually data science pairs well with journalism/comms which is lately very data driven and relies on open source intelligence. So NJIT could work. I did an MS in Applied Stat at NJIT and took data science electives but I recommend the opposite. Major in DS and take stats courses.

You could start at Rutgers and change majors. Many people drop pre-med/pharmD at organic chemistry. PharmD is especially difficult as it combines many different elements. It is a doctorate

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Hmm… I didn’t think of that! Although I wanted to do more like foreign analyst, I can see why data science could be valuable to the field.

Yeah… I don’t want to take that chance. Once I agree to go to Rutgers, that’s it- I’ve agreed to do 6 years Pharmacy for my parents. My brother had to do that, and my sister is doing that right now. I’d rather not be the next product in the assembly line my parents are raising. And they don’t understand that it’s difficult, they think I can do it since I’m pretty good at studying- but studying humanities, not STEM- but they don’t understand that.

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Ah, okay, sorry - 10K off is a lot less enticing than a 10K coa!

That’s fair. I’d still take a look at Public Administration though, along with the other majors you’re considering. Their honors BA/MPA program has three tracks, only one of which is healthcare related. (Which also means that you could entice your parents with the possibility of healthcare administration, but then decide against that track and never study anything healthcare related at all - just do the general track.) https://www.kean.edu/media/54400-cs-bampa-public-administration-fa19 There’s a fair amount of communications/writing content in there. And it’s an honors program, so you’d probably have a good cohort, and the case-study-based approach could actually be great preparation for journalism. It could work great with a minor or double-major in communications/journalism too - probably more so than education, which is going to have the whole student-teaching element competing for your time.

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I’m sorry your parents are trying to force you into a subject you have no interest in. Have you said to them plainly, “I know you have my best interests at heart, but I will never be a pharmacist. I have zero interest in pharmacy and I will be very unhappy if you force me to study it.”

Is living at home your only option? If so, frankly, I’d consider community college a transferring. Maybe by the time you are ready to transfer they will consider letting you live away from home with the money saved.

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Thanks, I’ll try that. I guess maybe I just need to be more assertive about it. Better start practicing in front of the mirror.

I’m pretty sure that’s not happening. Only my brother was able to dorm, and that’s because you can’t possibly commute from NJ to Michigan every day. What can I say? Paranoia doesn’t let go once it has its hold.

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OK, so here are my options that might get through:

  • Kean University double major Education & Communications
  • Kean University double major Public Admin & Communications
  • NJIT Data Science

Anything else? What about Seton Hall? I don’t want to go to a Catholic school, and I definitely don’t want to do the Biology + Physician Assistant duo. How do I refute that argument?

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Does your full-ride package at Kean include housing? If so, could you accept the housing anyway, and still start out living at your parents house but using your room during the day, in between classes, etc., and then gradually ease into staying over on campus as much as possible?

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