I would tell them flat out that you have no interest in being a PA.
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Yeahā¦ itās not happening. Anyway, the Kean full ride doesnāt cover housing.
Okay, so itās a full-tuition scholarship then. (Which of course is great, congrats!)
I just felt like it would be a shame to turn down free housing if that were being offered!
How do these schools compare, in terms of how onerous the commute is?
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Is there a third party that they trust? Family member? Church/temple? Maybe a close friend or advisor that they trust?
Perhaps you can talk to that person, explain your situation, and ask them to speak to your parents with you.
Perhaps they will Listen to someone else.
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āI know you have my best interests at heart, but I will never be a doctor. I have zero interest in pharmacy, PA, or anything healthcare related. If you make me do this, I will be very unhappy throughout my college years. I hope we can come to a compromise based on what you think is best for me and what I am happy and comfortable doing.ā
And then proceed to give them the options?
Oh yes, sorry, Iām not an expert on the lingo. It covers tuition and fees, nothing more.
Kean, Rutgers, Seton Hall and NJIT are about the same (an hour to an hour and a half from about $10 to $15 one way trip)
Drew and Montclair are about 2 hours and $15. Monmouth is close but I donāt want to go there (itās also expensive to attend). TCNJ is 2 & 1/2 hours but only about $12. Barnard, Pace, and UPENN, Iām not sure since they are not in NJ.
I donāt think thereās enough time for that (I have to make a decision tomorrow). Besides, all the family friends have the exact same mentalities and are of no help, even if my parents were to listen to them. Unfortunately, I think Iām on my own when it comes to this.
Go to Kean. You got a full tuition scholarship, and can commute. You will have a very tough time finding a job with a journalism/communication major, will probably wind up going to some type of grad school, like maybe law school, to earn a living.
Pharmacists cannot find jobs, those that have them are being worked to death. Youāre not interested in anything your parents want you to do, so choose the free school and tell them maybe youāll go to grad school for something else afterwards.
Take your waitlists out of the equation. Wait lists are a soft rejection, for schools like Penn and Barnard.
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Give them your preferences. The options are unfortunately what they can afford and will pay for. Iām going to advise you 100% against anything more than an hour each way commuting. Three hours a day is a lot. Four hours a day is totally unreasonable. You canāt do that. You will have to maintain your grades if you attend Kean on a scholarship. That is very difficult when you are commuting every day.
Iām curious, if you got off a waitlist at either Penn or Barnard, you would be required to live on campus I believe. So are they okay with that? Why are they not okay with the other schools? BTW, getting off WL is not very likely, so I would take that out of the equation.
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I agree with those above who say that studying something else and writing for the school paper is a great way to go.
My very favorite journalists all majored in something other than journalism. Their deeper knowledge about the fields they report on (whether that is healthcare, education, technology, art, international affairs, whatever) results in superior journalism. As an example: Ed Yongās pandemic pieces for the Atlantic.
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I wanted to go to law school, but I understand what youāre saying. Still, pairing it with another major, or dual degree-ing, should help me find a job, right?
Thatās what Iāve been trying to tell them, but they wonāt listen.
Thatās what their argument is: Do pharmacy and youāre free to do law later. The problem is, I donāt believe them.
I am SO sorry. You need to stick to your guns on what you want to do. Not worth going to college to major in something you hate.
Very well, I get it. So Kean, Rutgers, Seton Hall, and NJIT are really the only options.
No, Barnard students donāt have to live on campus. UPENN is totally out of reach, not sure why I applied anyway (guess itās cool getting waitlisted at an ivy tho).
Iām not really betting on those schools, so itās basically down to those four.
Thank you, that makes me feel better. At least my dream job doesnāt require something mega-specific in majoring.
I know, Iām still fighting tho :>
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Iām not sure that you have to fight, if you choose Kean. They wonāt be paying for it!
How long is the commute to Kean, and by what means?
Iām pretty sure the deadline is May 1 by 11:59 pm, btw. So you donāt have to choose tomorrow.
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They are very unreasonable T_T
My sister currently goes to Kean (itās her last year so idk if sheās going next year for her masterās). She commutes every day via NJ Transit, it takes her about an hour and a half & $10.75 one way. So, itād be 3 hours for $21.50 a day. Ik, itās pricey and annoying, but she manages, so I can too, right?
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Well we said we would make a decision tomorrow, which is when I came to cc for emergency advice. Idk, maybe itāll be pushed to Wednesday. Anyway, Kean and Rutgers pushed their enrollment deadlines all the way to June 1.
Again, if theyāre not paying for it, if you donāt need money from them for the deposit, just make your own decision and tell them that theyāre not paying, you made your own decision. What are they going to do, throw you out of the house for going to a perfectly decent college on a full tuition scholarship, a college that your older sister currently is attending? Stop discussing it with them and just make your own decision.
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Itās complicatedā¦ I wish I could do that, but I canāt. Itās better to reason it out. I think theyād be willing to listen if I present a valid case.
First, Iāll tell them that I have zero interest in ever pursuing healthcare. Iāll them that pharmacy is a terrible major and Iād have to work long hours every day. Then Iāll tell them Iād like to go to Kean (I suppose that is my last option), attend without worrying about tuition, and do something Iām good at and enjoy. This is when I can concede- Iāll tell them I can do double major or dual degree, Communications with either Education or Public Administration. Maybe Iāll lay out all the good career options that come with that. What do you think? Strong case?
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Itās good that you have āproof of conceptā from your sisterās experience at Kean. 90 minutes on the train each way is a drag, but at least you can do schoolwork. Given the direction youāre coming from (based on Monmouth being close), NJIT and Seton Hall would both be farther, as well as more expensive (to an extent that dwarfs the commuting cost). And you donāt really like either of those anyway. So Kean with the scholarship seems like the outcome to aim for.
From what Iāve observed about the relationships in families like yours, it can be very difficult for the child to be circumspect about her intentions. You have likely had a great deal of transparency trained into you.
So what I think you need to āpractice in the mirrorā is as much what you will not say, as what you will say.
For exampleā¦
You say: Iāve been looking at Keanās Public Administration program, and it looks really good. I could be in the Honors BA/MPA program, so Iād be with other strong students, on a path to an accelerated masters degree; and the teaching is case-study based with lots of writing, which would be a great fit for me. People get really good jobs with an MPA! There are three different tracks to choose from: General Management, Health Care Administration, and Nonprofit Management.
They hear: DING DING DING Health Care Administration!!
The part you do NOT say: Pigs will fly before I will choose the health care administration track. Iām aiming for General Management with a Communications/Journalism double-major or minor, which will position me really well for public communications roles in government in addition to jobs in journalism.
They donāt need to hear about the journalism piece. They donāt need to hear that youāre ruling out health care administration up-front. None of that matters right now. All you need is agreement on a college, and a primary major.
Iām not telling you to lie to your parents. (Youāll note that the words I wrote above did make any actual promises that you donāt mean.) But you donāt need them to be on board with your every innermost thought about your future. All you need is a path forward that satisfies them and also works for you. Some cans can be kicked down the road.
(ETA: And this need not conflict with your āno healthcareā statement. Just say that you definitely donāt want to be any sort of health care professional - not a pharmacist or a PA, etc. If it makes them happy to think that you might someday have a non-clinical job in the health care system, fine! There is zero need to die on that hill today.)
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