<p>My problem with high school drinking at the level of “a few beers” is the consequences. That is one huge thing I tried to impress upon my son. (my daughter was afraid of consequences and that kept her away from alcohol except safely at our home with family). Consequences can include getting kicked out of school, legal problems, getting kicked off teams etc. To me, it didn’t seem worth it. To a kid who is sure he will never get caught, it did seem worth it. Major consequence was fake ID arrest (friend was actually the one using my son’s fake ID), a $5000 legal bill (he paid it) and a year of probation which includes a lot of community service and a fine before it all goes away. To me- not worth it.</p>
<p>I should note that the fake ID arrest was summer before soph year of college and just a few months before turning 21. A huge percentage of college kids have fake IDs. My kid is the one with the arrest…</p>
<p>mom of wild -
Very much agree with you. In PA. you lose your drivers license for 3 months if the cops catch you with just a couple beers in your belly. At some schools, they walk around with breathalyzers and sometimes target kids randomly. Also not worth it…yet still many (in fact most) kids take the risk.</p>
<p>Ivyathelete12 I disagree with you. The issue is not parents who monitor their children 24/7. There are other pathologies going on there. The issue is with parents who discover their high school student is drinking and say “oh ok, everyone else is doing it. Just be careful.” </p>
<p>Underage drinking is a crime. Period. The “know your limit” argument is specious. You may disagee witht the law but until you join the state legislature to effect the change the law remains. When a parent condones behavior that is criminal that sends the wrong message to the child and blurs the line between right and wrong. If a high school student drinks the world does not come to an end but student should still be punished. Level of punishment is going to vary according to parental perspective and severity of infraction (drinkng and driving in my house means absolute loss of driving priviledges even if the state did not catch you).</p>
<p>I imagine from your sign in name that you are a senior in high school off to an Ivy next year. If I am right–congrats you certainly did a whole lot right in high school. But parenting is looking at the situation from the other end of the road and defining right from wrong so that even if a child deviates from the “right” path it is with the knowledge that consequences will follow.</p>
<p>I have a real problem with the criminalization of our teenagers. When I was 18 yo, We had 3/2 beer. Kids could go to the college town and socialize with each other. Now when kids go to college to party, they get hard liquor and sneak to the outside of town to someones house. The police get involved and charge kids. It makes no sense to me to make criminals of our children. I think there is a better way to handle these problems.</p>
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<p>Heh, so true. One of my good friends had a way overprotective parent and weren’t allowed to be exposed to pretty much anything while they were in high school. Come college, a pretty bad drinking problem developed, and they actually had to attend rehab for a little while.</p>
<p>I come from a family where my parents tried to get me to have a few beers with the rest of the family during the holidays or times like that, but I never really felt like it. Through college I hung out with a lot of friends that drank, went to their parties, but didn’t have anything until a few months after I turned 21, and even then I think I only got drunk two times at most. Of course, my older brother helped found a chapter of a fraternity and had no problem getting decently hammered at least one night a week, so I suppose it really depends a lot more on the child’s own outlook on life than the actual parenting style involved.</p>
<p>This study may be somewhat true but I personally did not drink in high school until my 2nd semester senior year… then in college I think I drank about 3-4 times a week for the first semester lol. As a kid you see that your on your own so you push the envelope a little bit. I wised up though and I dont drink as often now.</p>
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<p>One answer here - then teach kids how to respect - and understand the laws - and the consequences of those laws - that they have to live by. Many kids just don’t give a hoot about the law - cuz they don’t think they will get caught by the law - those same kids have to live under the same laws that we - as adults do - the same as with the driving/license laws - we all have to learn to live by the same rules. Start teaching the kids young - and then pray they have learned their lessons well.</p>
<p>There is no perfect answer to this problem.</p>
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<p>That is one perspective - that the social contract requires that one place the same emphasis on every la simply because it is a law. From my perspective, I think it is much more important to understand and comply with (or not comply with) the reasoning behind the law. So, when I see a law that says murder is illegal, it’s pretty obvious why that is and that it should be followed. When I see a drinking age law, I generally feel no particular compunction to abide by it, because I feel it unjustifiable infringement on my freedom, and more importantly not particularly effective.</p>
<p>That is probably an arrogant point of view, but I’m not going to change it. I follow laws because I respect the reasoning behind them - not for the simple fact that they are laws. My family as a whole operates like this, and are all moral and upstanding people - but that morality is defined from basic principles, not from what some idiotic politicians thought would be expedient.</p>
<p>^^^wonderfully stated.</p>
<p>Just to provide a kids prospective here,</p>
<p>At my high school lots of kids drink and smoke pot. Some excessively, some not. I do drink sometimes but after my first time of getting completely trashed and getting sick I’ve learned my limits. I have been offered alcohol and drugs (some harder than weed) but even when declining something have never felt pressured to do something I didn’t want to. All the kids I know are very good about using a DD, it rotates who is driving and at parties everyone knows who is the DD for different groups and they don’t get offered any alcohol and people kinda watch to make sure they don’t drink. I also know a couple parents who want to be home with their kid has a party but “ignores” that there is alcohol there. Another ones buys and pays for it for the whole party.</p>
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That’s fine. But please don’t complain if you get caught and punished by flaunting that law.</p>
<p>It seems to me that if a kid wants to drink, (s)he is going to drink. I’m a high school senior and have been in plenty of situations where good kids with responsible parents are drinking. Not leaving your child alone for the weekend will prevent a party at your house, but it won’t prevent your child from attending one elsewhere.</p>
<p>I’m not saying that there aren’t kids out there who won’t party in highschool. But they are few and far between – the majority of highschoolers will drink, will smoke, and won’t get caught.</p>
<p>I am of the opinion that the drinking age should be 18 and the driving age should be 21.</p>
<p>O I can just see driving my 21 y/o around town - hahaha.</p>
<p>I’m sure my parents would have loved driving the 6 hours to and from college every semester too, haha.</p>
<p>1of42 --you and I certainly can engage in the philosophical discussion of obedience to laws with which you disagree with the basic assumption. These types of discussions though usually have deeper societal implications-like slave return laws, draft laws, etc. Not whether the drinking age should be 16 or 21 (I say 16 because most high school students are under 18). One of the difficulties of parenting is instilling a moral compass. Civil disobedience should be reserved for those situations. Not the drinking age.</p>
<p>I would definitely agree with the article. I didn’t drink at all (or party, or do drugs) in high school because I was so busy with theater, two soccer teams, ASB and track, not to mention school work. After I graduated I started drinking with friends from work, and for my first year in college I was very good at monitoring myself. This year I drink even less (despite being in a fraternity now), and all my friends who get really wasted all the time are the ones who say they drank a ton in high school.</p>
<p>MomofWildChild, on the first page, wrote:</p>
<p>“If you want to pat yourselves on the back and believe that good parenting can prevent alcohol abuse in college OR high school, can I sell you some land?”</p>
<p>Good parenting CAN prevent alcohol abuse. Of course, you can say ‘No, don’t drink! It’s bad!’ blah blah all you want, and they may still do it. But who said that’s good parenting? In my opinion, kids are an extension of their parents. Parents tell their kids not to drink, but then dad brings home a case of beer and the parents have at it. How in the world do you expect the kid to listen. It’s like a Republican mother telling their kids “BE DEMOCRATS! REPUBLICANS ARE BAD!” It just doesn’t work. If a parent expresses views of alcohol in a way pertaining to THEM, explaining why THEY don’t drink and constantly demonstrating that choice, the kids will usually pick up on it and do the same, not because they are told to, but because children often imitate parent’s behaviour (Think Christian families, political families, vegetarian families – in most cases, the kids are the same if both parents are.)</p>
<p>ROTFL soccer_guy472, ROTFL.</p>