The rigorous/demanding schools are right for some kids and not for others. For some kids the workload is just right, for others it’s overwhelming. The schools do their best, but parents also have to figure out which schools are the best fit for their kids.
One of my sons, very bright but with ADHD thrived at Millbrook, and would have been crushed by an “acronym” school. We knew it, even though he had great grades and tested higher than those schools’ average, so on paper he looked like a good candidate for a “top” school.
His brother is thriving at a completely different school.
Be careful about having such strong opinions before you’ve gone through it. – I probably would have sounded like the OP but now on my 3rd at boarding school I see that for the right kid, these schools really do know what they are doing.
Busy work is not what these boarding schools are about. If my kid were doing busy work at BS that would be a reason to pull him out. He could have gotten that in spades at any of our local public or privates. W/he complained about busy work all the time prior to BS but not once after. If you sincerely think your kids are being asked to do meaningless homework at their BS, time to get involved. Who would pay for that? Who has time for that? I don’t think this is an issue at any of the schools discussed here.
I agree with @doschicos that most of the pressure at BS is self-driven based on the type of populations they attract/assemble. Our son worked and played hard at Choate but never complained that he couldn’t get his work done or that anything he was required to do was frivolous.
When I speak of “busywork,” I am indeed lumping excess boarding school homework with the more worksheet oriented or, as many here would call it, “busywork” of the dreaded public schools.
Why am I doing that, despite the — from one perspective — obvious presumed difference in homework “quality”? Because, once again, there is no pedagogical reason for schools to be averaging 5 hours of homework a night, period. Apparently, some think there is a legitimate pedagogical reason for this; I submit that there is not — and the education literature supports this, particularly for adolescents who, physiologically, need more sleep than either adults or younger children.
Put another way: if this excessive boarding school homework is not necessary, it is, by definition, unnecessary. I submit that any homework that is unnecessary is, indeed, “busywork”. Call it “unnecessary” if you prefer, but either way, kids are devoting time to it that they should not be.
But semantics aside, are those defending 5 hours of boarding school homework nightly — or even 4 — really saying it is “necessary”? Or, more likely, just the way things are…
Not both? I suppose that’s a backhanded compliment, then. But, rest assured, I am in the field: there are studies. A class is not being taught and structured properly if this amount of homework is deemed “necessary” by the teacher. I suspect excess homework is given and expected because that is just how things are done…
Here’s the thing that you might not be considering @Pincite - my son takes seven classes so 4 hours of homework? That’s not even an hour for each class he’ll have the next day. 7 is NORMAL for his school, it’s what everyone takes. (I’ve had people tell me he should just take 6 which is why I emphasize this). Firstly there is zero busy work. They are doing problem sets and writing papers. I have a kid who hates the stupid busy work in LPS and hasn’t mentioned it once. I also agree that some kids thrive in this environment. My son is very much thriving. He would not want a school that was any less rigorous (no matter what I think or want).
I also want to push back a bit on the “kids are all type a” theory. At his school that is not true. I thought it would be but nope. Also, they actually aren’t type a in a negative way. Some are very conscientious about work like my son and some are not. He’s just super good at organization, making good use of his time, getting stuff done. But I’d say he does the minimum necessary to do well. He’s certainly not studying for tests if he fee he doesn’t need to study. He didn’t study for his math midterm at all. So these kids are spending time where it needs to be spent, not just studying for hours and hours cause they’re obsessed with getting an a+.
@one1ofeach Good point about the schedule. But don’t most courses not meet daily? If they do meet daily, maybe the schedule is part of the problem. I like your phrase “minimum necessary to do well.” I am not talking about those students doing more than that: if they want to do more, all the power to them. But if that minimum necessary if 4 hours, what would happen to the elite boarding school world if it suddenly became 3 hours — and was actually enforced? I think there would be no intellectual drop off, and a lot of happier and better adjusted kids. And parents would know their kids are getting a great education and, well, some sleep.
About 5 classes per day. With Wednesday being 4 and Saturday possibly 3?
I’d say my son does about 3 hours of homework a night. He’s usually done by 9:30ish. He’s a varsity player so he often can’t start homework until 7:00pm or later. Maybe he gets in 30 minutes of work before practice? Free periods are scarce in his day which surprised me. Often he needs them to go see a teacher.
There are certainly nights when he has more homework - paper due, multiple tests the next day.
As I said he’s lucky because he’s very good at time management. He’s also somewhat a natural in math and science so I think those subjects go faster for him than some of his classmates.
@one1ofeach
I could have written that post. Many things are the same for my daughter.
I do think that the more experienced posters were correct things settled down after the first several weeks of school. It was insane - papers and test the first week! Really?
They just go at a super fast pace at her BS. I think most people aren’t aware of how fast they are churning through material. She had a test two days after coming back from Christmas break.
But @pincite how do you know how much homework kids are getting? My son who’s a junior (supposedly the killer year) does not have four or five hours of homework! Just like @one1ofeach’s son, mine also is really really good at time management. He’s also a serious athlete, which is actually relevant, as I think spending so much time on something outside academics (and for several years before boarding school) is what’s given him great time management skills. Also, his brain is wired that way. That said, are there juniors staying up late on homework? Absolutely! They did other things during the day, they are perfectionists, their executive functions are not as strong, there are many reasons.
That said, my son is incredibly busy. But it’s because he’s doing two co-curriculars (a sport and another activity) as well as playing club soccer, as well as running captains practices as well as being a dorm leader. Now – that is a little crazy, but it is not homework and it is not coming from anyone but my son.
If one wants a top notch, rigorous education, at any institution, I suspect one will have to work hard. If one wants a good education with plenty of down time that is of course also great, and one won’t have to work as hard. Your choice. These schools are what they are, and if you decide they aren’t right for your kid – great! But don’t try to make them something they are not.
Agreed. Getting the intense exercise every day even helps. Helps their brain be very focused when they get to homework.
Also, agree so much that the time management “training” that happened from about 5th grade on due to club soccer and basketball has really helped. These kids have been practicing great time management since they were ~11.
This was a provocative thread to read through, thanks for initiating @dogsmama1997. Sure, the general reply “improve time management” is of course a good thing to learn to do in life. Doesn’t a pile of work inevitably lead to the most efficient solution for these boarding school high achievers: optimize your studying for what the teachers want to see…and nothing more? Aka a “Will this be on the test?” attitude. The admissions process seems to screen against that but maybe it takes root again quickly.
It’s easy to see how kids start to think every marginal hour has a highest use towards improving the GPA. Skim the cliff notes on Thoreau in your room past lights out on the night before the test instead of, hey, actually going down to the bank of the nearby Concord or Merrimack river to read before tomorrow’s quiz? If you can get the same grade either way…(Humor me. I get that is an extreme example.)
In natural sciences classes I get there is likely little flexibility in the amount – and even exact type – of studying one needs to do to master, say, physics. I wish the humanities courses were done differently than what I’m reading from this thread. What’s the advantage of having the world’s largest high school library if kids have no time to follow their interests and liberally browse it?
I think the neuroscience is in on this issue - not just sports injuries, but retention of what they just studied. Why not study less, retain more? I believe that sometimes they’re left with literally a half hour or less in a day.
It wouldn’t help her soccer-loving kid but in general the legacy of mandatory afternoon sports is something that should be re-examined. It’s an enormous amount of time, from an age when there was less homework. The surplus of extracurricular options in general does have a trade off embedded in it, that adds to the pressure of this ecosystem. (Department of nice problems to have.)
My child is applying to boarding schools this year and it is a persistent small red flag that tour guides didn’t seem to read anything for fun outside of their coursework. (Maybe a bad run of luck? Kids that read outside of class don’t lead tours?) Overall I remain very excited about the abundance and challenge of boarding school, and the amazing cohort of fellow students. Still, for my child @dogsmama1997 touched on my biggest fear: more grind than joy.
Much of your concern is inherent in all high schools now. Students read for fun less than they used to, things are more college focused and competitive everywhere. Social media plays a much bigger part of life. Unfortunate but ubiquitous.
To be fair, even back in the day, few 14-18 year olds would have voluntarily contemplated Thoreau in their free time. There are also more appealing distractions now.
@cinnamon1212 I don’t know how much homework kids are getting: I am hearing anywhere from 3-5. I don’t have a problem, as much, with 3; I have a problem with 4-5. But I do think school homework limits need to be grounded in the reality of that school’s larger student body, and not just the ones who manage to get it done quicker. Thus, a 4-hour limit should be set according to how long that school’s average kid takes, regardless of whether some students can do it in 3. This is why I think this is a matter of school policy; it is not, in that sense, an individual student issue— even if some individual students handle it just fine.
Quick aside… A lot of the research on reading shows that kids read more. But not more books. A sore spot in our house. But I digress…
One of the things I will say to all prospective applicants (and parents) about BS is this: The schools really try to get it right and want their students to thrive. If they sense that you aren’t genuinely thrilled about doing lots of work outside class and the culture involves that (perhaps because of the pace of classes), you probably will not be admitted. And that should be a source of relief, not concern.
Some schools have a fair amount of structure around study halls and might be a good fit for a kid who needs that. Others stress the importance of learning self-management, and for other kids, that approach could be ideal.
A friend who works as a consultant in this field and who has worked in BS admissions says one of the first questions she asks is “Tell me about homework. When you do it, how you do it, feelings about it…” That is a critical piece in placement. @cinnamon1212 got it right above - there is a right place for every kid and for many of us, it became clearer as the process unfolded how fortunate we were that the schools understood our kids.
@Pincite , I get the feeling you may be starting your search. If you know that your child will not thrive with a heavy homework load, may need the resources of a learning center, might need structure imposed for study halls, loves xyz, etc., look for schools that will give you that. The ones that do not are not bad schools but bad choices for your kid. If there are attributes you are looking for, folks here can share ideas.
@gardenstategal Thanks. Yes, I am just beginning my search, but not really focused on my child at this point in terms of this conversation. What I mean is, he might very well “thrive” in such a high-pressure, homework-laden environment in terms of him doing well in school and the other indices people here mention. More fundamentally, though, I wonder if I as a parent want my child to have only 30 minutes of free time daily…
OK, but why are you assuming the school’s average kid is not getting homework done in 4 hours or less?
I’ve had three kids go through two different boarding schools. ALL of them for the most part got their work done in four hours or less. However, one of my sons was a social butterfly and didn’t start his work until 10 or 11 at night, and yes, that kid was up until 2 am doing work. If you heard of him you might be appalled – working till 2 am! – but that would not have been fair to the school. That was all my son.
No school, or at least no school I’m aware of, wants kids to drown in homework, or fail, or get 3 hours of sleep. No school wants that. And – that is not what happens at these schools.
I will note this, though. I kind of thought similarly to you before my kids went to boarding school. But here’s the thing – these kids aren’t “average” kids. These are kids that compared to all the other 13 year olds out there, are in the top 10% academically. That is not average. They have better than average work habits. They are more focused than average. They are more achievement oriented than average. They are more motivated. I could go on. But this population is different from kids at a regular public school.
I am not saying these kids are “better” than the public school kids, not at all. But the population, and thus how they are taught and challenged is different. Now, parents decide all the time that this is not the path they want for their kids. And it is not right for every kid. It wouldn’t have been right for me all those years ago, so I do understand.
NMH has the motto “Education of the Head, Heart and Hand” but it could very well apply to most boarding schools. These schools are focused on much more than just educating your child’s mind in the classroom. If you find the other required commitments less appealing, perhaps boarding school isn’t right for your family. Getting one’s body in motion most days is also backed up by science to be beneficial in many ways beyond fitness.