<p>A relative and his wife shared a two bedroom apartment with her brother for a few years and still do one year after they got married- his and their bedrooms all of the time. Big change with marriage was opening a joint checking account. Places are expensive in the NW.</p>
<p>Another relative pushing 30 is sharing a house (his) with his girlfriend- his parents want him to do the deed, not holding my breath although I think it will happen some year.</p>
<p>Back in the 1970’s couples were living together and shocking their parents, now it may still dismay them but is so much more common for mainstream adults. Marriages are occurring later- with finances tight and the acceptance of couples sharing a place there is no longer a rush to be married to be able to be together.</p>
<p>My only concerns for couples living together would be keeping separate finances in the event of a break up and not having children until after a marriage. Those are because of legal concerns and spousal benefits not available otherwise.</p>
<p>Sounds like this couple has a way of saving rent money by moving in together and are waiting for the end of schooling before the expense of a wedding. Times have changed and this is now socially acceptable. In a way it seems better than rushing to get married so one can enjoy intimacy/leave home and regretting it later.</p>
<p>*Fortunately, many young men of the early 30’s vintage grew up with mothers who made them do housework. *</p>
<p>LOL…where are those guys? Even the ones in their 20s don’t seem to have done a whole lot of housework. With the advent of more moms being professionals, we’ve seen more homes have weekly housekeepers that come thru and do the “dirty work.” </p>
<p>And…have you been in very many male dorms lately…ugh…pigs live in better situations…no evidence that their moms made them do chores. </p>
<p>Seriously, when men and women are together, all too often the issue becomes “who cares about it more.” IF the guy could sleep on unwashed sheets for weeks on end, he would…while many women would just get grossed out after the second week. Yes, some guys are amazing housekeepers (I have such a brother), but many either “just don’t see the dirt” or they just don’t care…or they know if they wait long enough, the woman in the house will take care of it.</p>
<p>* but many either “just don’t see the dirt” or they just don’t care…*</p>
<p>That’s me…only I’m a woman. </p>
<p>I know a lot of young men who have been taught how to do their own laundry, cook, clean, etc. They may not <em>do</em> it, but they know how. And when they mature, lo, they pick up the slack.</p>
Skyhook and Novelisto, I’m embarrassed to admit that there’s absolutely nothing special about my potato salad - my d just loves it because it’s what she grew up on. Just the standard boiled potatoes, hard-cooked eggs, chopped celery, and Hellman’s mayo. I do have two not-so-secret ingredients, both added to accommodate dh’s taste for sour, salty stuff: chopped green olives and a splash of red wine vinegar to thin the mayo. If I’m feeling especially chef-like, I add fresh dill. Ta-da. :D</p>
<p>Being asked for a recipe (something that rarely happens, believe me) reminds me of my great-aunt Anne, who made the best cole slaw in the world. At a family dinner, when she’d had one too many glasses of wine, she asked if I’d like to have the recipe. The entire room came to a standstill. It was like the old EF Hutton commercials, when everyone leans in to hear the pearls of wisdom. She said, “I just follow the recipe on the bag of cabbage. BUT - I make it the day before.”</p>
<p>I’m sure there are better recipes for both dishes out there!</p>
<p>My brother & I asked our mother to make lemon meringue pie for a family dinner.
Mother is about 83. I was drooling just thinking about it, how it was so “special” and how GOOD it tasted when we were children! I walk into her kitchen & she is reading the back of the MY-T-FINE box! She is a 1950’s housewife for sure. </p>
<p>emeraldkitty, congrats! Your D sounds like she will be just fine & his parents like her!
You don’t just marry one person, you marry into a family after all.</p>
<p>Hey, if you do give them a slow cooker, I bought a good cookbook called “Not Your Mother’s Slow Cooker.” I gave it as a gift so don’t have any personal experience but I had read good reviews and the recipes certainly looked delicious.</p>
<p>My grandmother was famous for her cranberry bread and we found out she used the recipe from the bag of cranberries. I still make it and it’s great. Oh, and she also made lots of brownies, all from Jiffy mixes.</p>
<p>I will sell 5 copies, 2 to CC fans, and 3 to my family. D2 is applying to colleges next year, maybe I will do it, so she could get into Yale and Harvard. But wait, she is not a legacy at either school, and we don’t work there.</p>
<p>what would change about the relationship if 2 people who are in a relationship are living together, and they get married? Why do you think they need to be married? For religious reasons? Legal reasons? Because it makes your heart warm and fuzzy?</p>
<p>Ok, I’ll bite. I think it can be helpful for people to live together a while before they get married. Even if they are very committed to one another, sometimes there are things they may not know about each other until they live together. Or things they just may not know about what it is like to live intimately day-in and day-out with another person. I personally think it is better to find these things out before spending the money on an expensive wedding and before a divorce is necessary if they decide to separate.</p>
<p>If people decide they do not want to live together before marriage, I respect that, too.</p>
<p>Skyhook, that’s not what soccergy was saying. He was questioning marriage as the next step after co-habiting and getting to know each other in more intimate settings.</p>
<p>Oh, hmmm, ok. Well, I don’t know then, because I think marriage comes nicely afterward, assuming no insurmountable obstacles have been encountered. Especially before the kids come…</p>
<p>I really only get ‘judgmental’ when a co-habitating couple gets pregnant and don’t marry before the baby comes because ‘we can’t afford the wedding we want’. Excuse me…you’ve got a baby coming. Time to stop thinking about yourselves as the prince and princess of Big-White-Wedding-stan. </p>
<p>And if you can’t afford it now, you won’t be saving any <em>more</em> money once Junior’s in the house. Babies are expensive.</p>
<p>$50 bucks for a license; hello, Mr. Clerk of the Court. </p>
<p>I think it is possible to live together and not have a baby- my H & I did it & I know my D is using birth control.
Birth control is generally available now & since they both have said they don’t want kids, I imagine that is going to stand for a while.</p>
<p>I think they are smart for not getting married hastily, I am not actually sure how long they have been dating as I only found out about it last fall.</p>
<p>I think that many of today’s young people don’t look at it that way. You ask “What is stopping them from getting married?” They think “There’s no particular reason to get married.” Some may also have plans that would separate them geographically for a period of time (like if one person moves to another city for two years to go to graduate business school). It may feel OK to do this if you have a relationship going but not if you are married.</p>
<p>What changes this is if/when the couple decides to have children. Then, marriage suddenly seems like a good (perhaps even necessary) idea. When two people are going to share the huge, long-term responsibility of raising of a child, the legal commitment of marriage suddenly makes sense.</p>
<p>I suspect this may be what triggered the marriage of Prince William and Kate Middleton, who had been living together for years. Apparently, they were asked not to get married in 2012 because the event-organizing people are already overcommitted (because of the Queen’s 50th anniversary on the throne and the Olympics). They may not have wanted to wait until 2013 to start a family.</p>
Too true, oldfort!</p>
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