If it was allowed at their (your daughter’s) company, fine. But many companies do not. Many have anti-fraternization policies. And worse, relationships can blow up and make for very problematic work relationships. IMO more often it doesn’t work out than it does. And then there can be HR complaints and lawsuits. Ugh.
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IMO, there’s a big difference between meeting and dating someone at work and 2 married employees having an affair- especially when one is in a position of power. If they were both single and dating on the sly, I’m sure this would not have blown up to this extent.
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I’m an attorney and read a lot of workplace policies. The majority of companies we represent do not have anti fraternization policies for individuals not in a reporting line. Many though have disclosure policies. There may be some companies that do have bans on all workplace relationships but there are many …..definitely the majority that do not. that The last statistic I saw said while disclosure policies of consensual relationships are found in around 40-50 percent of companies, bans on relationships for same level co workers ( vs those involving supervised/supervisee….either directly or indirectly) are pretty rare.
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Appreciate the comments. How is it handled when people have had relationships but then their roles change and they become in a supervisory position. In some of those cases, they may have had the relationship prior to this new dynamic, but that doesn’t mean that it will work satisfactorily, especially if it was not disclosed. And in some cases, even if someone is not a direct report, there are power dynamics across different layers or levels within companies. There have been cases of accusations of hostile work environment, discrimination, harassment (there are lots of kinds of harassment employees can claim), retaliation, undue influence, etc. Many may or may not be related to past personal relationships within the workplace.
And this is a bit unclear— can you clarify?
“bans on relationships on non supervisors with those they supervise”
I doubt the photographer / videographer would have posted it to Facebook/Instagram/Twitter if they hadn’t reacted like they did something wrong - she would have just kept watching and moved along.
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IMO, this has gotten a lot of attention precisely because it IS another example of unchecked power. If that guy had been a nobody, there is no way we would all be paying attention. We little guys are living in an era where there are seemingly endless points of proof that the 1%ers do not live by the same set of rules that the rest of us must follow, including at work and many of us have a strong anti corporate-powers bias, or worse.
On another note, nevermind the fact she is married, IF Astronomer had a no-relationships-with-subordinates policy, she should be fired.
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Nah, I do not make judgments on people’s morality based upon what their net worth or income is. I know plenty of 1%ers who are just as moral, decent, and live by the same set of rules as everybody else.
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Sorry I edited to make clearer. Do note that there are legal scholars that believe that anti fraternizing policies among same level co workers may even be impermissible under some state’s Laws. We Explain the Implications Of Anti-Fraternization Policies
Then that would seem to lend itself to many of those complaints and suits. Would imagine that privately held companies could set their own policies. And hopefully this doesn’t mean that faculty can go back to sleeping with their students!
I have no sympathy for him or her but I do feel terrible for the spouses and kids. I have a good friend who went through a painful public falling apart of her marriage. She dreaded going out and hated that people who she had considered friends were talking about her. She decided to move away as felt the need to start over where no one knew her.
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Of course that is true (maybe disproportionately so in our neck of the woods) but THIS CEO did a monumentally stupid (like Bill Clinton level stupid) thing quite possibly because he does have precisely the narcissistic personality tendencies that fuel the stereotype of the boss who thinks the rules don’t apply to him and/or he can’t possibly get caught. I am not saying all c-suite folks fit that mold, but enough of them do that a lot of people are fascinated with the spectacular fashion in which he has been held accountable.
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Meh, I don’t know if I get all fired up because one person did something pretty crappy. I have no idea what is going on in his own relationship with his wife, how could anyone? What fires me up is when people do things that affect and destroy large numbers of other people’s families, as what is happening right now in this country.
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My younger D and her BF just started working for the same company. Although they are not in the same departments, they were required to disclose.
Older D just had a situation where a co-worker in another office, who does not report to her, disclosed that they were aware of someone in a management position who was having an extramarital affair with another employee (no supervisory relationship between the two) - however, the employee who reported it to my daughter believes that they are being unfairly targeted by the manager because the employee knows about the affair, to the extent that they no longer feel safe in the workplace.
My daughter said that while her company won’t care about the affair since there is no supervisory relationship involved, they WILL care about the alleged harassment of the other employee. She encouraged the co-worker to report it to HR and she did so as well, to protect her position. If the co-worker chooses not to report, no action will be taken.
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I think I saw that both were suspended. He resigned quickly (I assume they worked out a package for him easily). She is probably still negotiating her package (she was head of HR, so I am thinking she knows what to negotiate). We will probably hear soon of her leaving also.
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This is simply an insecure male who seeks validation. We all know the type.
“I wish in HS I had been able to date the prom queen but I couldn’t. So I moved on.
I wish I married my college crush but I didn’t. Found another. Can’t change it.
I wish at work I could date a girl who looks like my head of HR but I shouldn’t. Then I did but I can’t change it.”
Now he is likely telling his family “sorry, it happens”.
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Just to zoom out a bit, it occurs to me that on a sociological level, many people may be experiencing a feeling of schadenfreude with this incident.
So often in our world (and especially now), privileged people get away with crappy behavior. To be able to witness - in intimate closeup - the moment when people are caught in a deception is a pretty powerful thing.
In other words, I have a feeling there’s a lot of projection happening with the overall public reaction to this situation.
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Maybe he’s just some insecure schmuck. Or maybe the guy is a sociopath who thinks he can get away with anything. There is no way of knowing. A while back, must have been about 8 or 9 years ago because I remember it was right after Trump was elected the first time, my husband and I were at a charity concert that a friend was performing in. We were in the hospitality room after the show when our friend enters with a very handsome older man and the man’s 25 year old girlfriend. Our friend says to the group " Hey everyone, this is John Edwards." The girlfriend heads over to get a drink and John Edwards asks if it’s ok if he sits on the couch next to me and my husband. I say sure and slide over to make room for him.( My husband is on the other side of me).
We exchange some pleasantries. John Edwards proceeds to place his hand on my knee. My husband is sitting on the other side of me laughing his a$$ off. I continue to have some crazy conversation with Edwards who is blaming third party candidates for screwing up election results. His hand moves further up my leg. My husband is still finding the whole thing amusing and is wondering at what point I am going to smack Edwards. By this time Edwards is commanding the conversation in the room. He is incredibly charming and entertaining everyone with stories about his time in politics. He casually references his political scandal and resulting love child as his “little problem”. He turns to me and says “You know about my little problem, right?”. I assure him that everyone knows about it. He continues to grasp my thigh. At this point his girlfriend who had been chatting with people on the other side of the room for at least an hour has come over to introduce herself and he finally moves his hand off of me. Honestly, I don’t think he was making an advance on me. This is just the way he treats women without a second thought.
So, point of my story is that true sociopaths are unbelievably charming and can reach the highest levels of power. I never would have fully comprehended that if I hadn’t witnessed this first hand. No remorse, no shame and my oh my did he have the most beautiful blue eyes I’ve ever seen. Lol
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That was definitely not a casual “one off” embrace:
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Newest gossip in the media is that this is her second time leaving a husband for a CEO - she did that to her first husband for her current CEO husband - and, she’s at it again. This is not substantiated and this is a gossip thread so take that for what it’s worth, which is probably nothing.
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The new interim CEO (and co-founder) of Astronomer is basically saying, wow, thanks for all the free publicity!
The events of the past few days have received a level of media attention that few companies—let alone startups in our small corner of the data and AI world—ever encounter. The spotlight has been unusual and surreal for our team and, while I would never have wished for it to happen like this, Astronomer is now a household name.
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