College Tours Dos and Don'ts - for the Parents

Parent Cafe
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<p>We toured 8 schools and ran across only a couple of obnoxious Moms. D has no problems asking questions. I hung back and took everything in, only asking a stray question when there was a lull. Of course I went on the tour with her…what am I supposed to do, stay in the hotel? </p>

<p>I was impressed with the guides from all the schools, what a great group of kids. We were Californians visiting schools in the midwest so it seemed easy for me to chat with other parents as they were curious as to what brought us out from California. It was helpful for me as I could get the perspective on the college from people who lived nearby (at least in the region).</p>

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<p>Funny list, Hunt! However, I wished I’d asked the right questions before I got the nightmare roommate who asked, when I finally escaped, if I’d left because I sensed the evil spirits her mother was sending! (this was after she’d told me that she’d walked out of a mental hospital where she’d been sent for attacking someone she “thought” was after her, and then later told me she “thought” she could trust me, but now she knew I was “just like everyone else”. ):eek:</p>

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<p>Hunt - awesome, lol. Especially the part about staying in the dorm with your kid for a few months. </p>

<p>Best comment I heard on a tour came from a tourguide who implored us to give him a heads-up if he was walking backwards toward a fence/tree/curb, etc. He said he once walked backward into a metal gate that crossed a walkway and nearly got knocked down, and a parent on the tour said, “I saw that coming.” (Thanks, mom, real helpful). So on the rest of the tour people would occasionally call out “curb” or “puddle,” and he said, “Thanks!”</p>

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<p>I can’t count how many times i have heard the “tell me if I’m going to walk into something” line. It must be in the official Tourguide training manual.</p>

<p>But, it does give the parents something to pay attention to (don’t think I ever heard a kid give a warning, but all the parents would just be so diligent about watching out.)</p>

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<p>I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tripped into the bed of pansies that’s in the middle of our academic quad while I’m giving a tour. I always ask people to tell me if I’m about to walk into something. The worst was when I walked into a fire ant hill while wearing flip-flops. I kept giving the tour, but I looked like I had a nervous twitch because I kept lifting my foot up so I could scratch it.</p>

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<p>(As an aside, interesting that the sub-discussion about Chicago as a match/reach came up. I thought of Chicago as a match school for son, based on his temperment/goals/personality/interests. He’s not any of those amazing things someone else mentioned, but he was accepted at Chicago. I wonder if we only think of it as a match <em>because</em> of the acceptance? I mean, would I be calling it a reach if he hadn’t? Interesting…)</p>

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<p>I think Biz mom was pretty accurate. I usually like to get a feel for the university myself.</p>

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In addition to what calmom said, consider that the visit serves two purposes - but only at some schools.</p>

<p>Purpose 1: for you to get information and a feel for the place.
Purpose 2: to “demonstrate interest.” Focus your visits where this will be important to gaining an acceptance. The reachiest of schools have no concern with demonstrated interest (HYPS). Kid can visit those after acceptance. Schools which often play second fiddle to the tippy reaches may reject a qualified student who they think is just using them as a safety. Visits play an important role in counteracting that.</p>

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<p>We have survived 29+ college tours over the past 4 years (different kids, different interests), so I have a little list of my own. It’s okay if you think I’m challenging and high-maintenance! I AM challenging and high-maintenance. Also, I am driving/flying my kids long distances to visit, may travel long distances to drop them off, and will be paying the tuition. </p>

<p>Gentle non-advice for tour guides (who have, by and large, been magnificent on our tours):</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Warning: I am going to ask any and all questions I want to ask. Sometimes answers and comments deviate from the script and/or website. Your reaction to questions can sometimes give important information. That’s why we are visiting in person. Just as admissions officers ask: will this student be a good fit here?, families will be asking: does this tour guide’s behavior reflect positively on the school? As far as ‘quota of parent questions’, I remember one tour (won’t say which school, but it was in Northampton, MA) where the tour guide asked “Any questions?” Silence. “No questions?” Silence. Tour guide said “Okay. Apathy is cool, too.”</p></li>
<li><p>The walking-backwards thing is over-rated. After 1-2 tours the novelty wears off. Then it’s just a little annoying when the TG brags about his/her walking-backwards prowess. It’s all I can do to not brag about my knuckles-walking prowess. Or my touching-nose-with-tongue prowess.</p></li>
<li><p>Please, please use your student-activism gene and affinity for collective action to press for
–smaller groups
–free water (snacks will always earn a school points, too)
–less air conditioning in admissions areas (save energy, it’s expensive)
–majors/interests tours, which would be far more purposeful</p></li>
<li><p>Sense of humor will always, always win points with our family (Amherst, UChicago, and Yale, I’m talking about you).</p></li>
<li><p>Do your homework. If there is a shrine on campus to the famous astronaut or Nobel Laureate who graduated from this school, you should know where it is. If the Yiddish Library is on campus, I don’t want you to just wave in its general direction, I want you to be familiar with it.</p></li>
<li><p>Libraries: Don’t speak disparagingly about libraries or books. We still like them in our house. If there is a Gutenberg Bible in your library, I want to see it! (quick, ccers, which school has one displayed?)</p></li>
<li><p>I personally don’t care much about beds, laundry, bathrooms, food, dorm lounges, etc. Guaranteed, all students will eat, sleep, and so on. What I want to hear about is academics. Who does what where. Where is the music building, the art building, the theatre, the science building, the library, etc. and which subjects are taught where. It’s surprising how little concerning academics is discussed on tours. In one school (a little-known one in MA starting with H) I asked about science and math sections. The TG threw his hands in the air in a who-cares way and said “I don’t know anything about math! I’m a theatre major.”</p></li>
<li><p>If we stay to talk to you, we are not necessarily schmoozing. It may be that we just really think you are an interesting person. We may want to just thank you personally if something you said rang our chimes.</p></li>
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<p>On behalf of parents, I want to say a grateful, huge THANK YOU to all college tour guides. We really appreciate you! </p>

<p>(One last word of advice: wear sunblock. When you’re my age you will be glad you did!)</p>

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<p>Okay, love the post, but that walking backwards thing is HARD, and scary, and it works weird muscles</p>

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<p>This wasn’t exactly a tour, but rather a road show by a group of highly selective schools.
After the presentation and during small group discussions, one mom started grilling an Ivy admissions rep. about why her school only gave half a credit hour for science labs that took much longer than regular classes. Said she knew a friend’s child who had to deal with this problem and it just wasn’t fair.
She wouldn’t let it go. Her child was nowhere to be seen. Probably hiding under a chair.</p>

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<p>To AnudduhMom: Your advice for tour guides seems highly critical and more or less unrealistic. It’s unrealistic for a 19 year old kid to know everything about every building on campus, the history of every graduate, and the specifics of every department. If you want information about a department, I think its reasonable a theatre major would be a little hazy on mathematics. You can e-mail professors, department heads, etc. a head of time to set up meetings at the college for your questions about academic specifics, most of the time they’re more than glad to help. I would also disagree about laundy, food, dorms, etc. being unimportant. If you’re living somewhere for the next four years, I want to know these things. These are the kinds of things that may be difficult to find online and it’s helpful to learn these things on a tour, whereas you can look up the history of the Yiddish library online if you’d look, or venture inside independently after the tour.</p>

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<p>Personally, because of what’s mentioned above (I agree it’s going to be unrealistic for one person to be familiar with everything), I kind of wonder why schools can’t be more creative about tours. You have one person giving you only a little bit, which is nice, but not really efficient for everyone to know what they want. Seems like it would be better to have a student give a tour of the school from what they know (which is bedding, food, etc LOL). And then have breakaway groups that cover more targeted interests by someone who knows about that. I think schools mainly do mean for your student tour guide to be giving you a view of student life from their level, and not necessarily expecting they will explain to you the significance and history of every single kind of monument on campus. Which the majority of prospective students probably don’t want to hear as much as you would hope, I really have to say, not that there wouldn’t be fans, but if we’re aiming towards the middle here…food probably wins. </p>

<p>Maybe different KINDS of tours would be nice. </p>

<p>The University of Richmond has some crazy old book (the book of -----? I seriously watched like an hour long presentation on this, why can’t I remember). The coolest part was that on one of the old illuminated manuscript pages, someone totally drew these random little faces in the margins. It was like million year old graffiti.</p>

<p>ETA: all right well they do have a Gutenberg Bible, but I was talking about the Book of Kells. We had to wear gloves to touch it. Or something like it, I’m pretty sure they didn’t actually let us touch that. I was really, really tired that day. </p>

<p><a href=“http://library.richmond.edu/about/rare.htm[/url]”>http://library.richmond.edu/about/rare.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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Carnegie Mellon did just that, it was one of the things I liked about the place. :slight_smile: At least during the month of April which was targeted at accepted students, there were separate tours of the different schools, tours of a dorm and a general campus tour. The tour of the computer science school was a full hour and given by two different students - one minoring in Robotics and the other in Human Computer Interaction.</p>

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<p>My DD did her first Harvard tour this past week. She had about 35 people. She said everyone was nice, lots of questions. She saw one of the girls on the tour hanging in Harvard Square later in the day. She didn’t have anything to do so D took her shopping :)</p>

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<p>OK so we just got back from a trip, visiting 2 U’s in the process. At first U, a dad just monopolized the poor student tour guide during a nearly 2 hour walking tour!!!</p>

<p>This was D’s first choice, and she was there for a summer program first, then we spent an extra day visiting admissions, and touring. She knew the basic lay of the land by now, and had been to various locations already during her multi-day stay. We then took an official van tour late the afternoon the program ended, and a walking tour early the next morning. Thank goodness D didn’t need to rely on getting questions heard by the guide. Every time the guide began to walk to the next stop, the DAD would monoplize her until she stopped to speak to the group. I laughed to myself, remembering this thread. </p>

<p>We visited a state flagship U, and this OOS dad was very critical in his comments. He was most put out by “how the campus blended into the locale.” Instead of enjoying the greenness of the campus, the sedate old oaks, and the historic old, architecturally wonderful red brick buildings intermingled seemlessly with brand new red brick buildings, he complained that the campus was “not very imposing.” He had been impressed with the “high rise” buildings on the two campuses they had just visited in another state, and just could not get over the lack of high rise buildings. He somehow felt the lack of concrete was a major drawback. </p>

<p>Thankfully, this was exactly why D can’t wait to return to visit, and attend a fall football game, (in the huge and imposing stadium, also surrounded by more wonderful red brick.)</p>

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<p>Just a question - was that a bad thing? I only ask because I tend to do a similar thing when I give tours. “Any questions? … Nothing at all? … All right, four years of your life and no questions, that’s okay.”</p>

<p>I never know when my humor is appreciated ;-)</p>

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<p>When I am on a tour- I am mentally equating what I see, with the impression that I had when I researched.
So depending on how I gauge the knowledge of the tour guide, I may not be motivated to ask questions, either because it was one of those “step foot on campus and know it isn’t for you” experiences, or the information I am interested in, is so specific, I don’t want to take up the other peoples time with it.</p>

<p>also- I don’t ask about services for learning disabilties, cause that may make my D uncomfortable- pretty much I leave it up to her, although on our last tour, I did ask a couple questions even though I knew the school wasn’t even going to be on the long list, because the guide was obviously at a loss of what to talk about & I thought they might be things that others would want to know about, but not think of until they had started school.</p>

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<p>sunnyflorida: did this dad ever have to LIVE in one of those concrete highrise dorms? The older, shorter, ivy-covered ones are much more pleasant, in my experience.</p>

<p>Ultimately, it’s the courses, students, and professors that make your college experience, and it’s only 4 years out of your life, but still…given a choice, I’ll take tree-lined walkways over concrete canyons every time!</p>

<p>And complaining about a college’s aesthetics to the tour guide is just gauche.</p>

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<p>Mommusic, D and I thought the campus was gorgeous. We COULD NOT imagine why he felt the need for huge highrises. The campus is very deceiving. It is large, but somewhat compact. The dorms were 4-6 stories, with buildings long and wide rather than straight up. Now maybe this makes for long hallways, but I agree with you.</p>

<p>And the U’s he mentioned as comparisons were no where near this U’s rank. He mumbled something about “being able to spot the last U we visited from the Interstate.” Like that was a plus. For the life of me I could not imagine why a concrete jungle close to an interstate was better than the location we were in, with its tree lined sidewalks and streets, its history, and the state capitol just blocks away. This guy didn’t know about the programs offered in comparison either, or the stats needed to get in. He was so caught up in how unimposing the campus was…in his humble opinion. It was odd. When he mumbled something about feeling like he was at a community college, it was clear they had visited no LACs, and only big, perhaps lower tiered newer state U’s.</p>