Continuing the fight theme…
Why do skeletons never pick a fight?
They don’t have the guts. 
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Vegan puns are corny 
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?? I’m a little slow.
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How much does it cost to swim with sharks? An arm and a leg.
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How about what time is when an elephant sits on a fence? Time to get a new fence
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Omg flashback! That’s the joke my kid told when he was in elementary school
My dad’s favorite joke: what’d the bug say when he hit the windshield? I’ll never have the guts to do that again
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I heard that joke when I was in the first grade and I’m (undisclosed) years old 
My first-grade joke was: If you throw a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?
Wet.
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I have a phobia of German sausage…
I fear the wurst
What do you call 50 pigs and 50 deer?
One Hundred Sowsandbucks
Dad, are we pyromaniacs?
We arson
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you.
(Please make this thread stop!)
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This came up as recommended, so here you go. 
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I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist insomniac?
He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a dog.
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Or the alternate version of that one… what is the last thing a bug sees when it hits the windshield? His tushy (substitute word of choice)
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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef
What do you call a cow with three legs? Lean beef
What do you call a cow with one leg? Steak
Okay, now I am done
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Last one sent to the fam group chat:
One of my favorites from my youth:
Where do Generals keep their armies?
In their sleevies.
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What do you call a swimmer with no legs ? Bob
What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other?
Eileen
And a woman with one wooden leg? Peg